Q: Dear Kathryn,
I recently wrote you a really long...
question. Here is my shortened version. [note: thanks for that]
You say not to get too attached to
one person as that is one of the biggest blocks.
You also say to keep hope and
excitement and fun and lightness about new love...
What do I do when the reason I have
hope and excitement IS BECAUSE of this one person who I have a lot of trouble
releasing? Although I have released him many times, he keeps in my heart and
still... keeps me excited for love.
How does the dream of him keep me
alive?
And what do I do when now, after 2+
years of dreaming of him, now there is someone who actually IS interested in
me... and I feel like I'd be cheating on the first guy?
If I continue to pursue the new
guy...
How can I explore the new guy while
having this dent in my heart for the first guy?!
It feels like I am being unfaithful
to him even though we connected so beautifully over 2 years ago and ever since
have had only some private message Facebook communication mostly started by me
and other than that, only actually seeing him a couple times very briefly?
How do I go forward with these
conflicting feelings?
I feel my heart is breaking by
letting go of the first guy but the new guy is wonderful and gives me so much
attention and love... but with him it feels more innocent.
The first guy felt like nothing in
this world, there was pure magic there and it all felt very real and grounded
too.
Why do I hold out for the guy who
isn't giving anything to me?
Thank you, Kathryn!!!! You have been
helping me beyond words! My life has completely shifted by listening to all
your recordings. Eternal thanks!!!
I love you and appreciate you more
than words!!!!!!
A: Thanks for writing!
I've got a few points to help you
with this situation. And I'm really sorry you've suffered for it
• DO NOT ever feel guilty or like you're betraying someone
you're not committed to. It is a waste of time and super misplaced sense of
unfairness.
• I hate to say this but often, when we get stuck on
unavailable folks, it's a great way to keep US unavailable. I would look at
that.
• Try to give the new guy a chance. He is showing up for
you, and that's way more attractive than someone who is not.
• I would not do most of the heavy lifting in
relationship ever again -- like being the one to initiate most of the contact.
We want to make sure it's requited love. Besides, there's a SO much more
effective way to attract someone and have them coming to you.
I do hope you'll tune into my free
class next week "Become Irresistible".
You'll learn how to magnetize anyone
you want -- including the one who has not been showing up -- to have love drop
in your lap rather than have to force something into happening.
I'm sending you love & support --
so happy my work has been helping you :)
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