Q: Kathryn, I have always settled in relationship and have never ever dated someone I could see marrying

One of my friends told me about your work in which you teach that being picky is good

What?! That's so opposite of what I've always been told

To be honest, I'm petrified of any guy who seems promising and they feel way out of my league

So what should I do? Should I TRY to date out of my league?


A: People have some strange ideas about love, and one stands out as the absolute worst one if you want to find the love of your life.

That is the concept of Dating Our of Your League (I call this UPDATING)

Almost every single I’ve worked with is occasionally intimidated by someone they find attractive. 

And yet, that person is the most likely to be their soulmate.

that you will have crackling chemistry with your One.

The good news is there is NO SUCH THING as updating. No one is out of your league. We are all equal.

But coming together with your soulmate can stress you out, if you (and this is common) buy into the idea of updating.

Folks who believe in updating (even unknowingly) will always think their soulmate is out of their league.

Why? Because this is the hottest person you’ve ever met.

The solution is to get rid of the updating concept and elevate yourself to a place where no one is out of reach for you.

I will write more about this in the coming weeks. I know it's a topic that needs addressing so stay turned for more

In the meantime, start thinking of yourself as more of a catch -- as worthy as any great guy you see

We need to work on this or else you are consigned to being continually disappointed in your love life

I bless you for knowing just how worthy you are of someone special to you!

Q: Kathryn, I did your course and now, I've finally met someone. It's scary because he's everything I've wanted. I find myself getting nervous, thinking that it's too perfect, maybe too good to be true?!

He's the one who voluntarily took his profile off matchmaking websites and wants to see me all the time. We text all day long. I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Is this too good to be true? What can I do?! I'm just so scared that I'll blow it or he will go away. Please help!

A: Congrats! You've done this process well and now you're manifesting. This is what typically happens with people who do my work? Why?

Because when you find your soulmate, it's beyond what you've ever experienced and it can take some getting used to.

I have a client experiencing a similar situation now, and I'm having to do a lot of handholding with her to get her through her own jitters.

Here's what I suggest to navigate this fun, courtship period.

1. Don't cry soulmate yet. It's fine to be cautious and give it the time it deserves to relish and make sure it's the right guy. So far, so good, though, and congrats on that!

2. Do go slowly. If he's really your One, then he will

be willing to wait for you to proceed at your own pace. Besides, it's fun to draw out this stage.

3. Remember to not put all of your eggs in one basket until it's a very solid commitment that has lasted a while. Regardless of how this relationship ends up, it's a huge manifestation and big thumbs up that you're almost there.

4. Take this as a template. Get used to it going this well as your due. You're breaking new ground, and I'm proud of you.

5. Finally, your most important job right now is to get up to speed with having a hot guy be enthused about you. If you were up to speed with it, you would not have jitters. You'd enjoy it, and you'd take it as your due. So our most important task is for you to accept your good and get used to it.

In my private practice, getting people up to speed -- conforming to their good -- is a major step we take. When you get there, it can never be taken away from you, and you'll only go on into more and more of what you want.

Great job! I'm blessing you for going all the way into the soulmate love you want so much. You're doing quite well.

I'm sending you love & support!