Q: Kathryn, I've done so many things to welcome in love. I don't know what my problem is but I must be doing something wrong, because I'm still waiting. And waiting.

I have been on so many dates (not great ones) and go to a lot of parties. But I never meet anyone interesting.

I just want to shout "Where is my soulmate?!" It is very hard for me to relax and have any faith at all.

Do you have suggestions about what I can do? I'm just at a loss and ready to give up.

A: This is a common problem I deal with when clients are not manifesting easily.

Here are some thoughts:

1Impatience is a sign that you’ve tried to make something happen before doing the inner work. When you are soulmate-ready, you don’t experience impatience.

2Waste of Time As my work emphasizes, spending time magnetizing love from the inside ensures you’re not just spinning your wheels taking fruitless action.

3Stay Home! Remember I’m the only dating coach

who says “you don’t have to get out there” and “if you don’t get out much, (s)he’ll have a wreck in your yard.” That’s because if you are laying the groundwork internally, you may not have to take a single action for love to show up for you. It’s why my book is called Love Will FIND YOU. And it’s why we have so many love stories from this work that involve meeting your soulmate while staying home. Don’t exhaust yourself trying to make every single event. Better to stay home & do a Soul Call.


4Only a Dab of Patience In my book, I extol the virtue of patience in finding love. But you shouldn’t need that much patience. If you are not manifesting right away, you may have a block or delay. Common delays are cynicism, hanging on to someone from your past, self-esteem issues, lack of faith, a bad pattern or tendency to settle. All of these delays can be easily, even instantly overcome. 

5Instant Manifestation Once you pinpoint your delay, it’s much easier to release it. As you do, you will find love knocking at your door, seemingly out of the blue.


If you are single and feel moments of loneliness, this is a good thing. It is indicative that you have a vacuum in your life, a space for love to come into. Being lonely means that you are wide open for The One.

This void, though it may feel empty and hard to deal with, is something to be guarded. The temptation may be to fill the loneliness with anything that comes along like a casual date or an old flame, but avoid doing so.

You don't want to start seeing someone just to fill the loneliness. It would be easy for you to try and make someone fit in there, but instead, imagine that this loneliness is a treasured place within you, only to be filled by your One, your soulmate. Treat it as sacred and don't easily let someone into this space.

In moments where your loneliness flairs, try the following:

1. Take a moment to be grateful that you feel lonely, knowing that the opening for your soulmate is intact and magnetizing him or her to you.

2. Send love to your soulmate wherever (s)he may be, knowing that you'll be together soon.

3. Release any impulse to take a stopgap measure to fill the loneliness such as late night dialing or making a date with someone you're not that interested in. Better to daydream about your soulmate instead.

4. Don't respond to a feeling of loneliness by letting it get you into a desperate state. Desperation repels, and it can lead you to bad decisions.The more you can start labeling your loneliness "good," the sooner you will be with your love, as this loneliness is a powerful attractor for your soulmate.