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Q: Kathryn, I'm just starting to date a guy, and he has been making some sexual innuendos from the beginning
On date #3 last week, he asked me if I knew the "3 date rule" when I didn't want to get hot-and-heavy
What?!
I'm supposed to have sex with someone if we get to 3 dates?! That freaks me out. I like him but this is scaring me
Is it true? Is there a 3 date rule?!
I'm more conservative than that and need more time to warm up and make sure this is where I want to go
Is it wrong of me to want a commitment before getting that close?
A: Sadly, I"m sure the "3 date rule" was invented by some horny person looking for a booty call to help their odds of getting in someone's pants (probably without much serious intent there either)
But rest assured, there is no "3 date rule"
There's not a "48 hour rule" either -- that you have to wait to get in touch with someone after you get their info
• There are no rules at all. Each of us has to date in a style that suits us. So, if you are conservative, then you can absolutely wait until you're in a committed relationship (or even married) before going that far
• Anyone who pulls a rule out to try & coerce you into doing something you're not feeling is showing themselves in that moment. The true agenda comes out
• If you like him and if he is your One, then he'll wait and honor you. If he still pushes, I would eliminate him and know that someone who respects you and will honor your timing lies ahead. He'll be worth holding out for!
• No one -- certainly not you -- is desperate enough to compromise on something like this
• You will not get what you want if you do give in. And you will be upset and feel let down in the end
If you are doing my work, then you are already engaging in a magnetization process that will not fail you
Have some patience and you will meet your One and the timing will unfold perfectly
A STORY
For one woman I worked with -- who had felt taken advantage of time and time again -- the key to her love success was to lay in boundaries
This woman had SO much heartache from giving herself away and then getting put on the back burner
She had felt so disrespected and CHEAP
She had to hold herself in higher esteem and learn to say NO
I also reminded her that any guy really into her would be willing to wait
As the work opened her up to love, she met the most attractive man she had ever dated
And sure enough, he started pushing her to have sex
In this case, it was because he was so into her. He had such passion for her, it was really hard to wait
But she stuck to her guns and made him wait for several months
He was willing to do it and actually respected her more for not compromising herself
They got engaged shortly after, and are now married
Learning to honor herself more finally got her the love she wanted
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