Q: Kathryn, I got one of your courses, did the work and it was amazing how fast I connected with a guy right out of my dreams. He's everything I want.

We have been going hot and heavy for a few months, but all of a sudden he has been pulling back. We still see each other, but he is not calling every day any more. Our dates are more sporadic, and it just feels awful. It feels like he is losing interest.

Should I just give up on him? What is going on and is there anything I can do about it?

A: I'm sorry you are going through this, but it's not that unusual. In every budding romance, there can be some pulling back from both sides.

Why? Because freedom is a deeper need than love, and every one of us needs to know that we can be free when we need to. He could be testing you or just ensuring that this is right.

Do you need to give up? No, not yet. First, I would try a protocol I use on people to give space.

At this moment, it can feel like you should cling on to him, but we want to do the opposite - give him room. Here's how:

1. Do some release work internally, so you're not allowing yourself to think of him so much. Take most of your eggs out of his basket.

2. Pull back externally, too, allowing him some room rather than going clingy. Don't text, don't email, don't call but wait for him to contact you just to give him room. Keep your exchanges brief. Let him do most of the "heavy lifting" here. As anyone who has done my release work knows too well, weird stuff happens when you let go. Inevitably, you hear from the person you're releasing.

3. Focus elsewhere. Get busy with other things in your life. And give other people a chance, too. Be open to other dates, flirt when you get the chance and take the pressure off of the relationship.

Remember you get love no matter what. It may not be him, but it's someone better if not. If it IS him, you'll give him the space to realize that and reassure him you are not going to choke his freedom.

For anyone reading this who is in a relationship, holding on loosely is the best policy. It means you have faith in the relationship.

I'm sending you love & support.

Q: Kathryn, my best friend and I are similar in the looks department. When we go out, the same amount of guys hit on us both.

But in the past five years, she has had three proposals while I struggle to get past the first date.

I go on many first dates, but they usually don’t ask me for a second one.

And the few relationships that have gone longer fizzle after a few months.

Is there something I’m doing wrong? I’m told I have a good personality, I’m easygoing and do try my best to flirt.

My friend and I are very similar but how does she manage to get so many guys ga-ga over her?

She herself doesn’t know, and I can’t see that big a difference between the two of us.

I’d love to get your advice on what I need to do differently.

A: That’s a great question, and I’m sorry you’re having issues with dating.

It’s definitely something you’re doing or NOT doing that your friend does, since you two are similar.

I’d venture to guess that it has to do with your energy and what you do on a date.

There are certain things you can do that will create chemistry right away – to get you beyond Date 1.

You can make it so it feels like it’s been longer and he’ll be wanting more of you.

You can use this same process to forge a deep bond fairly quickly so your date will want to go into a commitment with you.

As you probably know, a good portion of my massive Wall of Weddings are folks who had a similar problem.

I’ve coached many, many women into a commitment, engagement and wedding who had a series of fizzles before they found my work.

Here are some basics,

• don’t try to be a big wit. That is NOT what creates a bond

• ask more questions. There are several questions you can pose that will create a bond that has him wanting more

• look in his eyes deeply and do smile. This is one of several bonding behaviors you can do to make him feel comfortable around you and close with you

• make a conscious effort to flirt. Everyone has their unique style but flirting adds a light sexual connection which creates chemistry

I bless you for finding the perfect love for you, your soulmate, and learning to date toward that delicious goal.