Q: Kathryn, I'm dating the best guy I've ever dated. He is even my boyfriend! But I find myself constantly on pins and needles that I will lose him. It's never been this amazing with anyone before, and I'm at a loss. I know you say that he's not too good for me -- that no one is -- but it feels that way. I almost make myself sick, worrying about it.

A: My answer is one that should cheer you up! Let's dive in further to supposed dating out of your league -- it's not so hard to seal the deal and to save yourself tons of worry and grief.

• DATING OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE, PART 4: Keeping Your Soulmate 
  
  
  So, you've gotten someone who you consider out of your league. You're dating and even committed. How do you keep him or her? The following spiritual techniques will work better than the most skillful manipulation technique that a traditional dating coach could teach you. 
  
  1. Continue to work on your own self-image. No one is really "too good" for you. Dating out of your league is a false concept. And so, you need to repeatedly remind yourself that you're worthy of this person. It's important that the two of you have an equal relationship in which you don't feel one-down. 
  
  2. Relax. When you find yourself panicking that you'll lose this "catch," use faith-building tools like prayer, meditation, uplifting reading and affirmations: ("I GET this and nothing can take away what is mine!). Mellow energy shows confidence and there is no greater magnet. 
  
  3. Communicate. Keep an open channel of
  
  connection with your boyfriend. It's one of the best ways to ensure a continued, vital relationship. Strive to keep revealing yourself to your One, even if it's scary and continue to explore your partner. You can never get to the bottom of another person.
  
  4. Let go. Holding on loosely is MUCH more magnetic than becoming clingy, paranoid or having to keep close tabs (all of which are repellent energies) on your love. Release and watch things blossom!

Chin up! You GET THIS. Most people who do my work end up with someone hotter than anyone they've ever dated. They have to get used to how great this person is that they manifested. But he's yours and you won't lose him. That's how it is with soulmates

Q: Kathryn, I've been reading your series on dating out of your league, and I have a different situation. I did your Soulmate Bootcamp and am now dating a guy who I would have been scared to even talk to at one time.

It's a stretch for me, and I'm scared I will screw it up. I really really like him - I know I'm falling in love. I go through way too much in this process and can relate to that client of yours who ended up in the emergency room. I hate this anxiety. How am I going to make it to getting committed to him? That's what I want.

And he likes me, too, but I get so nervous I don't see how he will like me enough to bring this into a full-on, exclusive relationship. How can I make this happen?

A: Most people who do my work end up supposedly dating out of their league meaning they are finally involved with someone they REALLY like and can't believe their "luck." (Just to remind you, I don't believe that anyone is out of your league, so I don't believe you would ever "update.")

The time between connecting with someone to when you commit can be a crazy time. I find that it can put people off-center. They're either waiting by the phone or checking email obsessively or busy finding fault and questioning whether this could be the One or not.

Three keys to this time are:

1. Finding center on a continual basis. Whenever you start worrying, let it go by doing a release ("I put this in the Universe's hands and trust it all works out") and then get busy having fun in your life. Don't revolve your life around this person.

2. Being with not-knowing. Instead of trying to rush things along, relish this delicious time of falling in love. As long as it's dynamic, you can trust it will work out but don't try to go from attraction to commitment instantaneously. Better to give it some time trusting that the right things will happen in due time.

3. Work on getting up to speed with this man. Remind yourself you're not chopped liver -- that he is lucky to have you, too. And that you deserve someone special. The more you can see this in range for yourself, the less out of your league he will seem. In truth, he is in your league or you wouldn't have gotten this far into dating together. Getting up to speed means accepting your good as your due, and in this case, it will make a world of difference on how you approach the budding relationship.

I bless you for getting into the committed relationship you want with your soulmate -- the hottest guy you've ever met. This could be it, and time will tell. Just know you're special and DESERVE THIS!!

To hear an audio version of this newsletter, click here

http://events.iteleseminar.com/?eventID=94129779

Q: Wow, Kathryn! I did your Soulmate Bootcamp, and I’m now faced with what you call a “quality problem”
I’ve met the hottest guy I’ve ever laid eyes on and we’ve been on a couple of dates
But I’m completely intimidated by him. He feels WAY out of my league!!!!

It’s a miracle I’ve gotten through two dates with him, and we have another one coming up this weekend
How can I not blow it with him? I’m sure he’s going to lose interest any minute, especially with me acting all nervous and stuff
What can I do? I’d be so grateful for your input – thank you!
A: Almost every single I’ve worked with is occasionally intimidated by someone they find attractive

And yet, that person is the most likely to be their soulmate (and this guy may be yours)
Remember that you will have crackling chemistry with your One, so it’s a really good sign that you are super attracted to this man
The good news is no one is out of your league. We are all equal.
The solution is:
• get rid of the idea that he’s above you
• elevate yourself to a place where he is NOT out of reach for you
• I would look for ways to boost your self-esteem so you feel worthy of him
• being self-conscious is kind of selfish – it’s all about YOU
• so instead focus on him and your connection together
• this should get you out of the worst of your intimidation
 

I bless you for getting the HOT love you deserve – get used to it because you do GET THIS

Q: Kathryn, I have a question:  I have been doing your work for a while, and went on a few dates, met a couple of men but there was no chemistry.  Recently, a man began working at the same place where I work,  I didn't notice him too much at first but then we had a chance to talk and get to know each other.... there is a very strong physical attraction and a lot of chemistry between us.  This is good, because I was beginning to feel like I would not find anyone to feel like this about.

However, there is a problem. He is a lot younger than me, and we are too far apart in age to even consider a relationship. I know he is not my soul mate for this reason, but the feelings I have for him are so strong. I found out his age today, and I feel so heartbroken!

Why did I manifest this strong attraction with someone who is not available for a relationship?

Is this a sign that I am about to manifest my soulmate?  Or is it the universe's way of reminding me what love feels like, so I won't settle for a man I don't feel chemistry with?

I just feel so sad that I have to face another disappointment, and this doesn't happen very often.  I have worked at this job for several years and was never attracted to a coworker before now.

A: The best thing that you said in your question is that “maybe it's a sign that I'm about to find my soulmate” (yes!) and that it reminds you to not settle for anything less than amazing chemistry. That's a good start.

However, your thinking on this is limited, and I would like you to consider a couple of things.

• You said yourself that an attraction like this doesn’t come along very often. Why would you not at least give it a chance?

• Remember love does not know age. I have many a love story on my wall of weddings where the ages don’t sync up but it didn’t stop these soulmates from finding each other.

• Even if this man is just an opener, you might as well have some fun and enjoy him.

• Once you set an intention for love, we have to consider it DONE on a certain level. The rest is just playing it out, and you can afford to relax and have fun with whomever comes your way. You will be guided into the arms of your One, and have to try people on to see who fits. At least give this a chance and see what might be there.

When I first started doing this work, I guided a client through an extreme age difference. For whatever reason, it is easier for guys to accept a much younger woman, but less so when the tables are turned.

In this case, she was 42, he was 28. And she would not even consider him, even as she could not get him out of her head! I told her just what I told you and led her through a dating process that led to them getting married and having a child. The child is now 15, and they are still together and semi-retired. Their lives went so well together that age really never was a serious consideration. They’re so happy, and he has made her younger, so you’d never know there was an age difference at all.

Love simply does not know bounds like age, so try not to think so conventionally, follow your heart and see where it leads.

I’m blessing you for the soulmate love you so deserve! And do tune into my upcoming free class to set a powerful intention for love in 2017 (or maybe before?!)

My video series "Is Tinder Evil?" continues with two you don't want to miss.

They tell you how to avoid the ugly parts and harness the amazing power of dating apps to connect with the love of your life.

Yes, it's possible!

Is Tinder Evil? The Ugly
How to avoid catfishing and the yuckiest part of online and app dating

Is Tinder Evil? How to USE IT BEST
These are the secrets on how to use Tinder and other dating apps to find the love of your life

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