Do you think you know everything about your mate? Wrong!

Every being is an endless well, and you can never get to the bottom of another person.

However, you can get into a rut where it starts feeling stale or old hat.

During our travels, I surprisingly learned a great deal about my husband of many years: things he knows (quantum physics), things he thinks about, things he can do (rescuing us in a storm on a sailboat, skillfully navigating a motorcycle even on wet, uneven pavement on a small island) and things he loves to do (driving in crazy, ridiculous traffic, like that of Paris and Thailand).

I challenge you to try a few new things this year in your relationship: go places, explore topics, take lessons, meditate together, hang out with new people, have some deep discussions. You will find renewal and the passion that goes along with keeping it dynamic, a delicious exploration of closeness.

 

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Q: Kathryn, Why is it so easy for me in other areas but so hard in love?

I have a great career that I'm proud of. I have tons of friends, am close with my family and even head up a volunteer effort. But I cannot seem to find my guy, and love has always been hard for me.

Why is this and what can I do about it?

A: There are a couple of reasons this might be so.

1) Other areas like job are linear. Logical. An easy-to-see progression.

2) Secondary goals will have less resistance, but with a big goal, you will smack up into ALL of your resistance. The key is getting around it. But it's valuable because you can really move if you face your blocks head-on. How?

• When I work with someone on an issue like this, we'll assess where the wall is

• It depends on the nature of your past relationships and even your childhood

• Once we pinpoint the blocks, we can put together a protocol to move forward. Some blocks might be sheer resistance. Others may come up as you interact with likely prospects

• It really helps that you have success templates in other areas. That can be put to good use

Here's an example of a woman that I helped.

During intake, "Sue" admitted she had never had a successful relationship.

The longest one she'd had was 4 months, and it just fizzled after a while. He quit calling.

Sue was very head-centered, and like you, she had a very good career.

She tended to connect with men in work mode, not from her heart. And there was some past trauma thrown in there that added extra resistance.

We put in a protocol of:

- becoming more heart-centered when outside of work

- scheduled free, fun time

- worked on flirting and laughing and just enjoying herself

- Sue had to learn to create emotional bonding, too

But the upshot is the most lasting relationship of her life. She is engaged to a wonderfully charming man, and they are moving in together.

Yes, the things we want the most can seem elusive, but with some work at dissolving the resistance, they can still happen and happen quickly.

I bless you for finding your way through your own resistance.

Hi, there! Here’s another question one of you sent in that I’m answering today. It’s a good one, one I often get, and I hope it’ll help.

Q: I have a friend who annoyingly, always has a boyfriend. The minute one relationship ends, she finds another boyfriend right away. Why is it so easy for her and so hard for me? I haven’t even dated anyone in over a year. Why her and not me?!

A: Great question, and one I often get asked. Yes, your friend has something you don’t, but it’s not what you think. And just to reassure you, I often have folks in a similar position PASS their friend by finding love and getting married while the friend is still going through boyfriend after boyfriend. It’s not a competition, but if it were, you don’t LOSE.

What your friend has that you don’t is the following:

a) A good template for having a boyfriend. She’s used to it, so it’s easier to manifest again. I’ll bet you have some areas in your life that are easy for you, too.

b) Faith that she gets love, that someone out there will be right for her and that she’s lovable.

If you lack the above, then it’s probably interfering with your ability to manifest love. But the good news is that there are ways to develop these things and manifest so easily you can’t believe it.