Q: Kathryn, summer is here, and I'm beyond ready for love. What can I do to find love this summer? I'm feeling more hopeful than usual.

A: Your hopefulness is already making you more magnetic to love. I hope you'll concentrate on keeping that faith and also having fun this summer.

In addition, here are 4 tips to make this your summer of love!

• 4 Hot Tips to Attract Love

1. SIGNAL: If you are a woman, give a nonverbal signal when you're interested in a man. Prolonged eye contact can bring someone all the way across a crowded room. Despite what the bestseller THE RULES, says (let him make the first move), studies show that men generally will not approach a woman until they've gotten some signal of interest, whether it's a nod, a smile or simply a friendly eye gaze.

And no matter what gender you are, seeking a connection, being curious and warm toward someone makes you irresistible.

2. BE YOURSELF. Some experts say that you need to act this way or look that way, but studies don't bear out the notion of fitting yourself into some general mold of desirability. Reasons for attraction are so varied and so individual-specific that your best bet is to just be who you are, the most positive YOU with confidence, and the person who is attracted to your qualities will not be able to see past you.

One formerly single mom client who is now on my wall of weddings was always told she was too quiet and withdrawn to find love. As she did my work, an uncle showed up to pick up a child at her house from a playdate. He was taken with her and loved what a good listener she was.

It took him 45 minutes to collect his nephew and leave. He made sure he had her number before he drove away. The rest is history - the two tied the knot 18 months later. Not only did this show that love would come to her door but also that she never had to be something she was not. Her new husband adores her contemplative, sensitive nature. They're a perfect fit.

3. FORGET LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT and give an emotional bond and the ensuing chemistry time to develop. Studies overwhelmingly show that physical attraction levels vary between the first meeting and a deeper bonding time. Either the attraction grows or it peters out as the couple get to know each other. Many peopledevelop crushes with repeated exposure to an individual who they at first didn't find attractive which explains the phenomenon of office romances.

Just have fun this summer, enjoy flirting and bonding, and as you give love a chance to dawn, it will.

4. DO WHAT FITS YOU. If you're not the bar or on-line type, don't force yourself to visit bars or do the on-line dating thing. Studies show that the way people meet are so varied that you can't predict when love will happen. Chances are that if you don't like bars, you're not going to meet someone compatible in one. Better to do what feels natural to you and trust that love will find you.

• Love Life Affirmation 
  I connect with my soulmate. I commit to him (or her). We are one. I continue to open to love. I am a magnet for my love this summer.

Q: Kathryn, I have always settled in relationship and have never ever dated someone I could see marrying

One of my friends told me about your work in which you teach that being picky is good

What?! That's so opposite of what I've always been told

To be honest, I'm petrified of any guy who seems promising and they feel way out of my league

So what should I do? Should I TRY to date out of my league?

A: People have some strange ideas about love, and one stands out as the absolute worst one if you want to find the love of your life.

That is the concept of Dating Our of Your League (I call this UPDATING)

•Almost every single I’ve worked with is occasionally intimidated by someone they find attractive. 

•And yet, that person is the most likely to be their soulmate.

•that you will have crackling chemistry with your One.

•The good news is there is NO SUCH THING as updating. No one is out of your league. We are all equal.

•But coming together with your soulmate can stress you out, if you (and this is common) buy into the idea of updating.

•Folks who believe in updating (even unknowingly) will always think their soulmate is out of their league.

•Why? Because this is the hottest person you’ve ever met.

•The solution is to get rid of the updating concept and elevate yourself to a place where no one is out of reach for you.

I will write more about this in the coming weeks. I know it's a topic that needs addressing so stay turned for more

In the meantime, start thinking of yourself as more of a catch -- as worthy as any great guy you see

We need to work on this or else you are consigned to being continually disappointed in your love life

I bless you for knowing just how worthy you are of someone special to you!

Q: Kathryn, I’ve been in a relationship for almost a year. We’re committed and heading toward marriage

But my chemistry with him is starting to fade. We had a few arguments, and I found myself not telling him about some things

Now, I question continuing with him, even though our connection was so strong to begin with and we fit together so well

On the other hand, my sister has not even had chemistry with anyone in years. I know she’s picky, but it’s ridiculous

Could my whole family have a chemistry issue? What gives?

I am really stuck on whether I should break up or if there is a way to revive this relationship I’m in

A: These are great questions about chemistry, and I’m so glad you wrote me

This brings up what chemistry is, what fosters it and what kills it. There are two major chemistry killers – whether you’ve been in a relationship for a while or are just starting out. Or even – like your sister – cannot seem to find an attraction

What are the 2 chemistry killers?

1. Having walls up. This relates more to your sister. I’ve worked with many people who cannot find an attraction anywhere. Usually, they’ve been hurt in the past or scared of commitment

They have a hard time being attracted to anyone, their walls are so strong

Or tend to attract only those who are “safe” – the ones they’re not into so their heart remains unscathed. Some are so closed, they attract no one at all

2. Bad communication. This applies more in your case where you had a good relationship and now, it’s going

If you hold things back from your boyfriend, you start building up resentment. It is hard for chemistry to survive in this atmosphere

I have helped to save many a marriage simply by having a couple start being honest and disclosing things

In a healthy (soulmate) relationship, you can tell your partner anything and everything. There’s room for that, and it keeps the chemistry on fire

So how do you restore chemistry? Your situation is easier

• Have a talk with your love and confess the things you’ve held back. Be honest. Research shows that disclosure brings you closer

• I have a technique I use for those just meeting to accelerate bonding and heart-to-heart talks work wonders

• For your sister, finding chemistry takes more work. This is very common in those I work with privately or in coaching groups

• We have to help her adopt a new attitude about love that can help her to open up – let go of bad beliefs and get clear on the idea of risk and rejection

• And as we open her up and raise her point of attraction, love will rush in quickly

• This has been true in so many of those I’ve worked with who had a dry spell or haven’t met anyone interesting in years. They finally found love!

One woman I worked with had not dated in 10 years. She was pretty despairing about ever finding love and said there just were no hot men left (lol!)

We changed that quickly using the protocol based on the above. She realized she was happy alone and that she really couldn’t be hurt

We also started noticing all of the great men out there and worked on her bonding techniques

She found herself opening up – finally!

She met a hot guy she was crazy over within 26 days of us trying this new approach. For the rest of our 3 month coaching time, we solidified the relationship

There were quite a few times when she almost drew back and blew it, but she learned a new emotional pattern that opened up a whole new world of healthy relating for her

The two are now married

I bless you for finding the chemistry you deserve (and your sister, too). I’ll bet this works. Keep me posted!

To hear an audio version of this newsletter, click here

http://iTeleseminar.com/97668930


Q: Kathryn, the last 4 guys who were asking me out were not ones I could ever imagine myself with. Just not what I want, and I’d be settling if I went out with them


And then I have met two really hunky men in the past couple of weeks who would not give me a second glance


I even tried to get their attention and suggested going for coffee. But nada. Zip. No reciprocity and I felt like a dolt for even asking


What am I doing wrong that I never meet anyone who I like who would be into me? I really don’t want to have to settle for a guy I’m not into


A: Sorry you are having this experience

It sounds to me like you are not up to speed with the ones you find attractive

You probably have a “script” that say “I’m not worthy” or “You’re way above me”


I find this is common


We would need to change this to get different results because the one that is attractive to you is most likely to be your soulmate since you have crackling chemistry together


It can take some getting used to – connecting with someone who you may have thought was out of your league


But we have to bridge this gap for you to welcome in the love you want

I bless you

Usually, when I’ve worked with people privately or in small groups, there is ONE THING that holds them back from getting what they want: a primary issue. 

Some know, and have tried to no avail to get rid of it.

Others have no clue, and it is an amazing when the light goes on.

Things go QUICKLY as blocks are released. 

Not only have you internalized beliefs that hold you back, there are people close to you who DO NOT want you to succeed (sad to say). And you probably feel that pressure on some level. 

Some are scared of risk and humiliation and find it easier just to play it safe.

But every person who manifests their desires had to put the fear, the limits to rest in order to be able to realize their dreams.

So, here's the good news. 

It is AMAZING how fast folks get what they want once they identify their issue, address is properly and move beyond it.

They fly into a whirlwind romance with their soulmate. 

All of a sudden, money starts pouring in. 


It can change just that quickly.

EXERCISE: If you're not sure what your delay is, spend some time thinking about it. The clue is look for what shrinks you. What makes you feel small or causes you to hesitate? What feels bad?

As you pinpoint what it is, imagine what it would be like to be free of this delay. What would you do? What do others who don’t let this hold you back do?

This begins to pull you forward beyond the hold up.

I look forward to helping you more with this!

To hear an audio version of this newsletter, click here

http://events.iteleseminar.com/?eventID=94430919

Q: Kathryn how can I believe in soulmate love when all I see are unhappy couples struggling and also divorce? I’m not married but right now, many of my friends are either in the midst of a divorce or in a bickering, miserable relationship that I would never want

I know I don’t want that. I don’t want to ever have to get divorced. And I don’t want a husband that I fight with all of the time

I’d rather stay single than any of that! Please tell me how to keep hope when I have no idea that soulmate love could really exist when I see all of this happening around me?

A: We need to work on changing your perspective. When you have that idea – that relationships are really not that great of a thing to have – then you will get evidence to support it, unfortunately

So we need to reframe it for you with a better belief and then look to get it backed up

A belief to have that will help you is this (a great affirmation to memorize in your case:

A relationship with my soulmate is EASY, harmonious and never ends

 

• When you are with your soulmate, it’s the easiest relationship you’ll ever have (so none of your past experience or what you see around you is relevant
• And it’s not even remotely hard to stay together
• People that you are seeing around you in unhappy relationships have never experienced soulmate love
• They settled before they met their true soulmate which is why they’re divorcing or bickering
• If you really want the love of your life, you’re going to have to decide that this is not true for YOU
• Otherwise, you’ll keep finding evidence to support this bad idea of relationships you have, and be unable to produce the love you want

I’m so lucky that with what I do, I only see happy couples around me. Those I work with plus most of my friends and family are in soulmate relationships that are easy, harmonious and long-lasting
And yes, many of these unions are due to my work or influence

So remember that love is possible as are really good, soulmate relationships


I’m sending you my love & support for getting the love you so want & absolutely deserve!

Q: Kathryn, can you explain to me a little more about how the release process works?

I got a product of releases from you and am still getting used to what’s happening. First, as I let go of a situation, it got completely turned around. It’s at work, and I found myself with a raise and a better office even as I was letting go of the company out of frustration.

Then, I did a romantic release, and all of sudden, not one, but 3 guys I dated have popped back into my life. One I really have liked and I’m struggling with not getting reattached. I wouldn’t mind it working out with him.

What is going on?! And what do I do now? Should I let go of them all again especially the one, or see what could work out?

Please help!

A: I, too, have been astonished at the results we get with release.

Since my days of directing Crisis Support, I’ve seen how important letting go can be.

And refined the technique I’ve used to loosen attachment in those that hang on for dear life.

But we could not have predicted the magic that would ensue.

I theorize that it’s because letting go – as much as we can resist doing so – is an act of faith saying that we trust God to handle things for us.

It makes sense if you think about it. If clinginess or desperation are repellent. Then, the opposite would attract.

Release is unbelievably magnetic. This process is where we get the most emails with magical stories.

I’m so very happy it’s working out nicely for you.

Here’s what I suggest with the 3 newly appeared exes showing up for you-

• It’s fine to explore what is there with a detached point of view.

• I would hang on super loosely with each one.

• Particularly with the one who turns your head; see if things have changed, if some of the issues that made you break up in the first place are getting better.

• STAY RELEASED. I have a protocol I use called “partial release” that has worked to deliver countless people into engagement more quickly and has gotten many into the arms of someone they are interested in.

• Partial release means never getting clingy, focusing beyond the person at hand and not putting your eggs in one basket.

• The Partial Release Course I give to my private clients has singlehandedly helped them turn a corner into love beyond where they’d ever been.

So, try that and let’s see what happens. So far, so good! You’re doing excellent work.

On that note, our Ultimate Release Superkit is being discontinued this week. Right now, it’s on sale, so I would grab it!

The best news is that I’m throwing in the “Partial Release Protocol” as a bonus, which is normally not for sale and available only to my private clients.

I’m blessing you for doing such a great job in letting go. Keep it up, and you’ll have the love you want and much more

Q: Kathryn, I'm in my late 50's and have not dated in 5 years. I rarely meet anyone age appropriate or attractive to me and I’m ready to give up on love.

Has love passed me by? Is it too late for me? I'm really scared that is true. I don't feel very attractive either and see an older woman now when I look in the mirror. Who would want me?

A: Are you kidding me?! We need to work on your very limited belief. That's the only thing keeping love away from you.

A couple of summers ago, we had a  rash of 50-somethings and seniors getting married. And it keeps on coming.

I'm known for helping those who are no longer spring chickens to find love.

These people were and are happier than teenagers experiencing first love, and I’m thrilled for them.

You may know that I teach that love knows no boundaries like age. It’s never too late for love. I'm sure that's why you're writing.

If you’re ready for it to be your turn, then, here’s what will help instead of you to give upon love.

1. Remember that love can happen at any time. Keep your hopes high, and look for the love stories that remind you that you have every hope for love. Don’t give up on love.

2. Look for your blocks. You didn’t have to wait for love this long. Something is delaying you. Get to the bottom of it & let go of whatever is holding you up. Common blocks are: fear of commitment, past trauma, freedom issues, feeling unworthy of love, a bad pattern and hanging on to the wrong person.

In your case, I'm sure one of your blocks is thinking you're over the hill. You're not. If you haven't met your soulmate, the best is yet to come so don’t give up on love yet.

3. Send out a soul call & stay at Soulmate Level of Attraction. Do an energetic invitation for your soulmate to come NOW, and get happy and hopeful. This is an environment in which love can come quickly  . . . even if you’ve waited far too long.

Do sign up for my upcoming free class "Become Irresistible." I'll show you how to make age completely irrelevant in your quest for love and how to end your dating desert once & for all.

Q: Kathryn, I've been doing a LOT of your manifestation techniques. Over the last two years I have manifested three men into my life for a period of 3 to 6 months. However after that it either breaks down or they disappear. I'm working on shifting this pattern but every time I think I have made a final change, the outcome manifests the same way. Could you please give me some suggestions to change this? 

A: The good news is that you're not at Square 1 in your manifestation journey, so congrats for that. At least you're manifesting SOMETHING.

But now, it's time to refine, and I do suspect where you go wrong.

The easiest way to change the results you're seeing and avoid any more heartache is to take a different path of action.

How? Use Step 4 in my creation process.

What's the Step?

The fourth step to manifesting is:

Take Inspired Action

In this process we are very selective in what we do, but do take some sort of action

• The Law of Assertion -- where you take action that feels "effortful" and that you have to MOTIVATE yourself to do rather than be inspired to do it -- fails every time.

I imagine you've been trying this to produce the disappointing results you're getting.

• As you know my work uses the Law of Attraction, and this is a very different way of approaching action.

• The delightful thing about the Law of Attraction is that things tend to fall in your lap, so you don't have to go to extraordinary effort to make things happen for yourself.

• But . . . you DO need to do something. It is just a different way of doing.

How best to do this fourth step?

If you're either a real do-er or a procrastinating perfectionist, you would do things differently than you have been.

• For those who tend to overdo, making everything into too much work, inspired action means waiting a bit before doing anything. Sit on your hands and wait for the inspiration to hit. You'll get more done in 2 hours than you would have in a week if you wait.

And what you do and what you attract will be vastly different. This is not far-fetched from the Law of Attraction.

• For those who are procrastinating perfectionists, ruled by fear and therefore needing lots of reassurance and data before making a move, it's best to do SOMETHING. Even doing something imperfectly is better than staying where you are.

From what I understand, you met all the 3 of the disappearing guys while forcing yourself to date online and get "out there".

That approach is filled with a bit too much fear, and clearly, you didn't wait for the inspiration or you would not have produced such hurtful results.

But rest assured that it is all a learning process, and you still have every chance to meet the love of your life, who would not disappear for anything. This implies that you have to use the Law of Attraction appropriately.

This hot guy will stick by you and wants to seal the deal with you for life!

HOW TO TAKE THIS STEP: The key to Step 4 of my manifestation process -- inspired action -- is to pay more attention to your emotional state. Seek to feel good filled with faith and wellbeing and as you do, the inspiration will strike for you to go somewhere or do something. As you take inspired action, it feels good and easy with no too much effort involved; simply the Law of Attraction at work.

Example: A student in a course I was teaching was a member of the FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) Club. She would go to every party, any singles event and was on FIVE online dating sites. She was exhausted and often was in a very low energy state with all of these activities.

Like you, she had dating disappointments, one after another. She completely changed what she was doing by concentrating on feeling good and scaling way back on all the activities she was doing. She only went out or went online when in a good mood. It took around 3 weeks for her to meet the guy she is now living with, randomly at a smoothie bar where she got the inspiration to visit as she sought to take better care of herself. This is simply what the Law of attraction can get you.

- If your intention is love, inspired action looks like acting from a place of faith and high self-regard. As you do, you turn your magnet on very strongly for the love of your life and nothing else.

- If your intention is money, inspired action is taking steps based on a strong sense of your value and also with trust rather than desperation (which is a repellent).

There's much more to this step, but these tips can get you started toward your own miracle; learn to use the Law of Attraction

I bless you for changing things up and looking for the inspiration before you act. As you do, it's a whole new ballgame where love will land in your lap.