Q: Kathryn, I'm just starting to date a guy, and he has been making some sexual innuendos from the beginning. On date #3 last Saturday, he asked me if I knew the "3 date rule" when I didn't want to get hot-and-heavy.

What?!

I'm supposed to have sex with someone if we get to 3 dates?! That freaks me out. I like him but this is scaring me.

Is it true? Is there a 3 date rule?! I'm more conservative than that and need more time to warm up and make sure this is where I want to go. Is it wrong of me to want a commitment before getting that close?

A: No doubt the "3 date rule" was invented by someone looking for a booty call to up their odds of success - LOL!

But rest assured, there is no "3 date rule." There's not a "48 hour rule" either -- that you have to wait to get in touch with someone after you get their info.

• There are no rules at all. Each of us has to date in a style that suits us. So, if you are conservative, then you can absolutely wait until you're in a committed relationship (or even married) before going that far.

• Anyone who pulls a rule out to try & coerce you into doing something you're not feeling is showing themselves in that moment. The true agenda comes out.



• If  you like him and if he is your One, then he'll wait and honor you. If he still pushes, I would eliminate him and know that someone who respects you and will honor your timing lies ahead. He's be worth holding out for!

• No one -- certainly not you -- is desperate enough to compromise on something like this.

• You will not get what you want if you do give in. And you will be upset and let down.

If you are doing my work, then you are already engaging in a magnetization process that will not fail you. Have some patience and you will meet your One and the timing will unfold perfectly.

Let's work on attracting the Real Deal rather than settling for so little. No more wasting your time!

A saying that I love is: “the pain will push you until the vision pulls you.” 

Here's a great question one of you sent in.

[to hear an audio version of this newsletter, click here]

http://events.instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=69702789

Q: Kathryn, I've finally released my ex, but now, I have new pain. I am so lonely that sometimes -- even though I'm done with him and see he was not good for me -- I'm tempted to call him just for companionship. And all my rejection-thinking is arising, too.

Ugh! Am I just so used to pain that I keep recreating it? I couldn't sleep at all last night. Please help.

A: This pain is fake. And we need to get rid of it.

I know it feels real, so why do I say that?

It's because it's based on false premises.

In this case, it means that you're being pushed by the pain -- some past pain.

The reason I call it FAKE is because it's assuming that you will always be in this place -- that vacuum that happens before love comes.

But do you know how many people I've shepherded through this time into the arms of their One? Thousands!

And every one of them wished they had known what was ahead so they could skip the useless pain and be getting ready for the lifechanging moment when love walked in the door.

You have set a powerful intention to follow your dream of a soulmate, and this intention is at work on your  behalf, even when you’re not thinking about it.

If you can refocus on that, then you'll be pulled by your vision instead of pushed by this needless pain.

Pain is an indicator that something needs to shift for you. Sometimes it’s something that you’re grieving, which is legitimate pain, but often the hurt is caused or exacerbated by you.

How do you cause your own pain?

• By holding on to a person who is not yours and being unwilling to move on

• By accepting a belief about yourself of about love that is limiting

• By letting people into your life who are hurtful to you and not supportive

• By taking things personally that aren’t (like “rejection,” which I don’t believe in)

• By having a narrow vision that is fear-based instead of full of the faith that love is still in the works for you.

The quickest way to relieve your pain is to examine how you’ve created it and do something differently.

Also, elevate yourself back to your vision for your life, dwelling on that instead. As you do so, there is no pain that won’t fade, no situation that’s irretrievable. A pain-free life becomes real.

I'm blessing you for carrying on toward your vision. It will happen sooner than you can imagine!