How Can I Get Rid of This Pain?

A saying that I love is: “the pain will push you until the vision pulls you.” 

Here's a great question one of you sent in.

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Q: Kathryn, I've finally released my ex, but now, I have new pain. I am so lonely that sometimes -- even though I'm done with him and see he was not good for me -- I'm tempted to call him just for companionship. And all my rejection-thinking is arising, too.

Ugh! Am I just so used to pain that I keep recreating it? I couldn't sleep at all last night. Please help.

A: This pain is fake. And we need to get rid of it.

I know it feels real, so why do I say that?

It's because it's based on false premises.

In this case, it means that you're being pushed by the pain -- some past pain.

The reason I call it FAKE is because it's assuming that you will always be in this place -- that vacuum that happens before love comes.

But do you know how many people I've shepherded through this time into the arms of their One? Thousands!

And every one of them wished they had known what was ahead so they could skip the useless pain and be getting ready for the lifechanging moment when love walked in the door.

You have set a powerful intention to follow your dream of a soulmate, and this intention is at work on your  behalf, even when you’re not thinking about it.

If you can refocus on that, then you'll be pulled by your vision instead of pushed by this needless pain.

Pain is an indicator that something needs to shift for you. Sometimes it’s something that you’re grieving, which is legitimate pain, but often the hurt is caused or exacerbated by you.

How do you cause your own pain?

• By holding on to a person who is not yours and being unwilling to move on

• By accepting a belief about yourself of about love that is limiting

• By letting people into your life who are hurtful to you and not supportive

• By taking things personally that aren’t (like “rejection,” which I don’t believe in)

• By having a narrow vision that is fear-based instead of full of the faith that love is still in the works for you.

The quickest way to relieve your pain is to examine how you’ve created it and do something differently.

Also, elevate yourself back to your vision for your life, dwelling on that instead. As you do so, there is no pain that won’t fade, no situation that’s irretrievable. A pain-free life becomes real.

I'm blessing you for carrying on toward your vision. It will happen sooner than you can imagine!