Should I give up?

Q: Kathryn, I got one of your courses, did the work and it was amazing how fast I connected with a guy right out of my dreams. He's everything I want.

We have been going hot and heavy for a few months, but all of a sudden he has been pulling back. We still see each other, but he is not calling every day any more. Our dates are more sporadic, and it just feels awful. It feels like he is losing interest.

Should I just give up on him? What is going on and is there anything I can do about it?

A: I'm sorry you are going through this, but it's not that unusual. In every budding romance, there can be some pulling back from both sides.

Why? Because freedom is a deeper need than love, and every one of us needs to know that we can be free when we need to. He could be testing you or just ensuring that this is right.

Do you need to give up? No, not yet. First, I would try a protocol I use on people to give space.

At this moment, it can feel like you should cling on to him, but we want to do the opposite - give him room. Here's how:

1. Do some release work internally, so you're not allowing yourself to think of him so much. Take most of your eggs out of his basket.

2. Pull back externally, too, allowing him some room rather than going clingy. Don't text, don't email, don't call but wait for him to contact you just to give him room. Keep your exchanges brief. Let him do most of the "heavy lifting" here. As anyone who has done my release work knows too well, weird stuff happens when you let go. Inevitably, you hear from the person you're releasing.

3. Focus elsewhere. Get busy with other things in your life. And give other people a chance, too. Be open to other dates, flirt when you get the chance and take the pressure off of the relationship.

Remember you get love no matter what. It may not be him, but it's someone better if not. If it IS him, you'll give him the space to realize that and reassure him you are not going to choke his freedom.

For anyone reading this who is in a relationship, holding on loosely is the best policy. It means you have faith in the relationship.

I'm sending you love & support.