The Eel

Some of the worst cases of attachment I've seen come from people who got hooked by THE EEL.

Definition of The Eel: someone who seems in your grasp, but then slithers away just when you thought it was going somewhere, only to reappear again as you give up hope.

This is akin to the mouse-cheese experiment I talk about in my Releasing a Person CD. The mouse would hurt itself when sporadically offered the cheese, whereas both the mouse who regularly got cheese and who never got cheese accepted the situation calmly.

If you are being distracted by an eel, I invite you to adopt my rule concerning eels. Don't touch! Eels seem to somehow NEED to keep you dangling, and it can be terribly exciting playing this game, but it doesn’t produce a soulmate relationship.

My Advice: recognize when you're swimming after an eel and change course. Yes, letting go of the hope will hurt, but every time someone swims in a different direction while doing my work, they end up finding their soulmate quickly. If you keep your eye on the love ahead waiting for you, it will make the release much easier.

If you are in doubt about whether it can work out or not (and in most cases, you are simply in denial), I suggest this technique for seeing if this relationship is salvageable.

• When the suspected eel lets you down -- disappears, doesn’t call when (s)he says, suddenly wants to cool things down -- give him or her notice. You can do this playfully, so it doesn’t become heavy, but draw a boundary here. “Flakes are just not my favorite cereal, if you get my drift. I’m liable to brunch elsewhere if it gets too flaky around here.” This takes back your power, while keeping it light.

• Keep track with a three strike maximum limit. If eel-like behavior shows up three times, this is a trend. It’s too much to ignore. Unless you want to continue in a frustrating, uphill battle to make this person become reliable, I would bail at this point.

• Do some release work, and remind yourself that your soulmate will leave no doubt that they want to be with you and they will be even hotter to you than the eel has been.

Love & support,
Kathryn

If you are ready for love and need to ditch an old dating pattern, now is a perfect time to set that intention.

If you have had a bad dating pattern – like going for unavailable or hurtful people, having chemistry with those who are bad for you or being closed due to past hurt – you are not alone. I have worked with thousands of people with similar patterns, and it has been gratifying to watch them dissolve unproductive patterns to date for their soulmate.

There is a way to shift your preferences and get rid of sabotaging dating habits once & for all.

1. See reality and know you can do SO much better. If someone isn’t completely in to you, admit it. If someone pulls you down or creates misery for you, admit it. No longer try to romanticize something that is undeserving of you and vow to wait for better: a mutual, supportive love.

2. See yourself better. As you realize how special and sacred you really are, you will no longer allow anything unworthy of you. You will have better boundaries, not accept someone who treats you casually or worse, puts you down. You will no longer get hooked into an “eel” or waste time with someone who is not The One, keeping yourself free & available for your soulmate.

3. Imagine yourself with soulmate love. The key to moving beyond your past, what you have known so far, and into true love is to make where you are going more real than where you are now. Fantasize about what you want and keep it in mind so you won’t be tempted to settle.

As you shift, the people you experience chemistry with will change. And the reality of the love you GET will outshine even the richest fantasy you’ve had about someone from your past. (This is why people who do my work describe constant “pinch me” moments as they manifest soulmate love!) Keep your eye on the prize and it will materialize much sooner than if you continue to spin your wheels.


love,
Kathryn

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9/30/10

Hi! Vacationing AFTER Labor Day is the best. It’s peaceful and uncrowded. We are still in Palm Springs soaking up the sun, taking a breath after a busy summer and deciding our next moves in life. Triple digit temps are forcing us to have what we call "three bathing suit days:" hours in the pools & lazy river. Hot weather is not so bad when you can just throw on a bikini and go swim.

Fall has arrived and you can probably feel change in the air (well, except that summer has FINALLY just arrived in SoCal - LOL!) School has started, we’re all getting back to work and it’s a chance for a fresh start.