Q: Hi Kathryn. I’ve really enjoyed your work but I feel like I have a block to love that I’ll never get rid of. I’m in a high demand job with a great deal of stress. It drains me so much that I have no time left to deal with romance. When I try to make time for socializing, I literally have fallen asleep at parties.

Even if I met someone, I don’t know how I’d fit him into my packed schedule. A relationship just seems like added demands on me.

But I don’t want to end up alone. Is there any way I can find love with this life I have?

A: It sounds like a lot on you. But rest assured, you have every hope for love.

What can we do about your situation? Make a few changes:

• We need to work on your internal climate & beliefs before taking any action.

• It’s an issue I often deal with in private coaching & coaching groups. The two prong approach is to work on internal issues and then secondarily, change what you’re doing when not working.

• The first internal shift is to find a way to put work on autopilot. You can be doing the same things with far greater stress.

• The second internal shift is to start changing beliefs. Many who overwork have confidence issues. They measure their value in how much work they can do and feel they have to prove their worthiness by working far too hard.

• I would tackle any belief that is running your work life including any of the following:

- I have to work hard or I’ll fail

- I have to prove my value

- Hard work is necessary to succeed

- I never have any time

All of these beliefs will act true until we shift them. And once you get rid of them, newer and much nicer beliefs will rule your life.

Your life can become quite charmed as a result and love is not far behind.

• As we get your internal climate to nicer place, then and only then would we find some fun things to do beyond work.

• And I would suggest leaving work in the office once you embark on personal time which you’ll have a lot more of as we balance your life better.

So what can we do with this to get you where YOU’RE the happy one?

I hope this helps. I’ve helped many, many high flying careerists find balance and love. You can, too.

On that note, my free class this Thursday can help. It’s on career issues and even if you don’t want to be a coach, some of the concepts I’ll speak on relate to your issue.

This week’s Question: Kathryn, I've read a few of your books about attracting and magnetizing my soulmate to me. But I don't know what to expect the gender to be. I like men and women. More so women (and I am female as well) but I am definitely bi, not lesbian. I can be with guys too. But at first I assumed it will be a girl but ... What if my soulmate is a guy and I pass him right up? And when I write out what I want in the relationship and his/her attributes.. how do I specify the gender? I’m really confused about this. Since every person has this one soulmate, well.... How can I know if my soulmate is a male or a female?

Answer: I sense in your question a bit of fear – that if you don’t get this just right, you may miss your soulmate.

Nothing could be farther from the truth – you WILL meet each other, and this is not random chance.

Here are some points to help you with this issue:

• Each person has someone they’re meant to be with. You can’t miss them and you will be drawn together.

• Gender preferences are irrelevant. The attraction process works whether you are gay, straight, bi or anything else. So using what I teach when trying to be gender neutral in your affirmations is fine (what you said is fine): (s)he or him or her.

• You don’t really need to know ahead of time which gender your soulmate will be if you like both. Just be open and it will become apparent. Love is love and it will become obvious as you go forward with someone.