Many that I work with have a false idea about how love will happen for them. They think there should be measured, obvious progress that leads in a logical way to love. Wrong! Love simply does not work that way.
Love happens in an instant, and your life is changed for good. What I see happen to those doing my work is that one minute you're in a dating desert and the next, you're wildly in love and cannot believe how well it's going. It could even happen over the holidays, which is a frequent occurrence, so do stay open.
The more that you change your idea about love progress, the quicker that life-changing instant will occur and the more you'll enjoy these, your last single days. Here are some ways to speed up your journey into the arms of your One.
1. Get better at looking for signs of your progress. Your dating dessert isn't so stark if you examine it better. Count changes you see in yourself, your growth, as progress to love. If you feel like you are transforming, rest assured you are in a dynamic process that won't fail you. Let this reassure you that love is fast approaching.
2. Quit beating the drum of lack. Every time that you write on my Facebook wall "he's not here yet" or commiserate with your friends on how brutal dating is, you delay love a bit. You're labeling yourself as a "have not," which is the lowest level of attraction. Love simply cannot happen in this environment. Feel faith, speak faith and remind yourself that love could happen any time.
3.Make it real in your mind. Rather than getting caught up in where you are and how lonely it is (see #2 above), get busy imagining how good it will be when love arrives. Embellish your imaginings, plan for courtship and as you keep your eyes trained on where you're going, you'll get there easier & faster.
4. Enjoy every moment. Even if you're worried about experiencing the holidays alone, look for the fun and connection rather than dwelling on your current state. Remember that these are your last single days, so you need to relish them. Many tell me their last solo holiday is one they remember fondly, because they enjoyed it so well that it helped bring love quickly thereafter.
I cannot WAIT to hear about your instant - that moment that you come together with your One. Because you may have had some bumps on the road or waited a bit longer, you will enjoy love more than anyone you know, and you'll never take it for granted!
Heartbreak Corner: The Attachment Bond
If you are struggling to get over a breakup, be aware that one reason it's so hard to get over it is a thing called "limerance." Psychologists coined this term for the love bond that is addictive. It mimics the strong bond we form with a parent when we are young. Not only is this bond emotional, but it is also chemical in nature, so that it may feel like you're dying or the pain is too much to bear when you try to let go.
There is only one way to break this addiction, and that is to release it, firmly, then bite the bullet and go through the ensuing pain. If you've ever gotten over someone before, you can release this bond, too. The VofA (my nickname for the Voice of Attachment) will tell you that this is your soulmate, that there can be no greater love than this, but the minute you break the bond, those feelings go away.
I support you in breaking this bond and getting on with your l ife!
Attachment to an ex is by far the biggest block people have to love. The easiest path to release and to your One are Kathryn's Releasing a Person and Manifesting Love CD's, experienced in succession. The CD's are available in a package together as downloads. Order this money-saving package of love life boosters here.
In a Relationship? Communication
Communication, keeping your ties steady, is one of the best ways to keep a relationship solid. You two should be able to say most anything to each other, which creates a great closeness that is unshakeable.
If this is hard for you, work on being more honest with your love. And if it's difficult for you to bear honesty from your mate, work on not taking things personally.
Honesty is also an amazing aphrodisiac. If you've held resentment, you may no longer feel so attracted to your love. But the minute you open your heart and share, you will find yourself wildly passionate about him or her again.
To keep your relationship at the highest level or transform it into a soulmate one, the last Chapter of Kathryn’s book Love Will Find You is called A Relationship from Heaven. The book has been called a “marriage saver.”
love,
Kathryn
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Thanksgiving in Atlanta |
I'm ASHAMED of myself for not updating the Blog more often, but that will change in January when I go to a new, easier format (look back here for that). We've been bopping between Chicago for a wedding, the U.S. South for Thanksgiving, NorCal for book signings and more, but mainly are sticking in LA until the new year. Yes, it's been busy, as usual.
3 comments:
Thanks for the limerance insight. I needed to hear that and have to admit I'm in the grip of it now, but I will work to free myself from the attachment. It's pretty painful!
I'll take love in an instant. You've give me some hope for the holidays, so I'll keep my eyes open :-)
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