Slut Shaming

[to hear an audio version of this Q & A, click here: http://iTeleseminar.com/74619435]

Q: Kathryn, I've been doing your "Date for Your Soulmate" Course and it's working! I'm starting to connect with more hot men, but I've hit a snag.

Part of the course talks about flirting, and I just cannot do it. I was raised to believe that women who flirt are sluts, and it just feels wrong. I'll feel like a bad person, a hussy, and I can't do it. Even if I try as little as a wink, I freeze up.

A proper woman doesn't act that way, and I need to ask you if I really have to flirt to find love. I don't want to impede my progress. But this is beyond what I can deal with.

A: Wow, that's a lot, and I'm so very glad that you wrote about this flirting block, because we need to address it. Here are a few points to help you out:

1. I adore the term slut-shaming because it negates the notion that women are either madonnas or whores. There is nothing wrong with having a sexual side and using it when you're connecting. We all have many complicated sides, and it's okay to be sexual. To judge women (and not men -- such a double standard!) for being too flirty is just wrong and can inhibit a woman's ability to be who she is.



2. The definition of flirting is a mild sexual energy in communicating. It's a terrific aid to turning a person's head who you are interested in.

3. Flirting ensures you won't be friend-zoned. It also opens up your 2nd chakra. If you've had a long, dry spell, you may in danger of shutting down, and this can prevent love from coming along.

4. Even if you don't want to flirt with anyone else, you definitely want to be flirting with your soulmate.

5. It helps to practice flirting to be in practice when a hot person (most likely to be your soulmate) comes along.

6. Everyone -- even the shyest amongst us -- has a flirting style. It varies wildly, as you are seeing in the course where I talk about all the styles and how to find yours.

I hope this explanation can help flirting seem less scary or prohibitive for you.


The course you're doing has helped so many people open to love! If  you're going to do it, don't skip parts of it. The process can't work as well.

I bless you for getting over this hump. It will open a whole new world to you.

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