Super Painful SPLIT and the Rebound was WORSE

Q: Kathryn, I'm at one of my lowest points right now. A couple of months ago, I had a really bad break-up.

I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me, and we broke up. To pile it on, I did find romance again quickly, but I know it was too soon and for the wrong reasons. Turns out Guy #2 was sleeping with his female room-mate the whole time we were going out. She got my cell number and texted to inform me of this, which sent me into a huge tailspin.

I feel like I never want to date again. I trust zero guys. What did I do to have so much bad luck in love? And what can I do now? I'm ready to give up entirely on love. Please help!

A: Don't give up on love! We just need to adjust some things, learn the lessons you've gained from this and move on. Just because you've had a couple of bad experiences, it doesn't mean you need to throw in the towel on love.

There really are much better guys out there, and your soulmate would never hurt a hair on your head.

Clearly, your point of attraction after the break-up -- when you were already feeling so bad -- was not at a good place, so sadly, it makes sense that you would attract another bad situation.

Let me tell you the story of one client I worked with. Here's what happened:

 • Her boyfriend left her for her best friend. She was devastated and just looking for anything to feel better.

• She started dating and was attracting horrible dates. One date hit on every friend of hers at a brunch she took him to. She was so embarrassed and at an all time low.

• This is when she came to me. I asked her to lay off dating until we could elevate her point of attraction.

• We raised her standards for herself and worked on having hope again, realizing there were still plenty of great men out there and that she could have faith that her soulmate was there. I reassured her that her soulmate was head and shoulders above these guys she had been hurt by.

• She started treating herself better as part of raising her standards.

• She got less desperate, realizing that she had attracted the brunch player date out of sheer desperation to feel better after the hurtful break-up in which she lost both her boyfriend and her best friend.

• After a short break from dating and doing this inner work, she met her soulmate. She had to get used to him buying jewelry for her, taking her on trips and honoring her in every way. He could not see past her, and she couldn't believe this hunky guy was so into her.

• The two are now married with kids. She feels that her horrible break-up and dating experiences were just a bad dream, she's so happy now.

We can apply this work to your situation, too:

1. Try to imagine a time when this current reality you've just been through feels like a bad dream. This, too, shall pass.

2. Start looking for better guys -- anyone you know or in the media that reminds you there are so many honorable, monogamous good guys around including your soulmate.

3. Treat yourself well and have better standards for yourself. Give yourself the luxury of time to see who someone is before getting too involved with them.

4. Have hope and be patient. You do need some recovery time for this, but it in no way means you don't get love. You do get your soulmate, that is assured. So let's put this in the past, let go and move on.

I'm sending you much love & support for better in your life! You'll get it.