My walk of shame

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Have you ever had a walk of shame or a bad morning after experience with a date?

Read on to find out how to never have that happen again

Q: Oh, God. I am a life coach so you would think I would know better but right now, I feel humiliated

I’ve been flirting with this guy I know through mutual friends for a few months. I have to admit I developed a crush on him

He is so sexy to me, and I was hoping it might go somewhere

Last night, I ended up going home with him after a get-together. I had a few drinks in me, and he lived close to the party. We were getting pretty handsy, making out at the event, one thing led to another and it ended in his bed

At the time, it felt like a dream. We were getting close, he was saying very romantic things like “I’ve always wanted to kiss you”. It was hot and heavy!

I had a great time and I think he did, too. I fell asleep in his bed, and when I woke up, it was different. Basically, it felt like he wanted me out of there

He was kind of cold, not lovey dovey like last night. He didn’t offer me coffee or breakfast. He didn’t even offer to walk me to my car a few blocks away where the party was

He said he was late for work and needed to go. It was pretty abrupt and threw cold water on any hopes I had for a relationship

So I had my walk of shame back to my car, slinking back to get it with messy hair, clothes from the night before and praying no friends were around to see me

I am so depressed right now. Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? I am humiliated and I guess it’s clear he doesn’t want any more than he got last night

A: Well, I think we can safely cross this guy off of your list

He’s not worthy of you to treat you that way in the end

And I wouldn’t even bother being humiliated. If anyone should be, it’s him for taking you home with him and then being a very poor host

But let’s learn from this so you can attract a better experience into your life

1. We need more of a green light than a casual flirtation to spend the night with someone. Going home after a party with drinks involved is too easy and as you can feel right now, not honoring enough of you

2. There are times when people will say anything and act any way to get you in bed. Some are very practiced at this to get what they want. He may have been one of those people

3. That is why it’s better to wait longer and be sure of someone’s intentions. If it’s your soulmate, he’ll be willing to wait on you until you feel ready to get close

4. It feels like your crush on him made you abandon judgment and go for it with him even though there were signs it wasn’t serious on his end. Crushes can make us see through rose colored glasses

5. It’s good to make sure you’re not doing all the heavy lifting in a relationship. It was very easy for him to get close to you and take you home. He didn’t have to plan a date, didn’t have to even ask you out. In the future, make sure it’s really mutual

6. Here’s some soothing news now. Most of us have done a walk of shame before, getting into something where we gave way too much and felt hurt and humiliated. It does not mean you are doomed to never find love

We just have to learn from this and do better next time

• Hold yourself to a higher standard. And even if you have a crush, I’d go slowly to make sure it’s based on something solid

• Your soulmate will be even more hot to you PLUS he’ll be wild about you and make no bones about it

• There is nothing more satisfying than finding that one with whom your first night together is off the chain. He doesn’t want you to leave in the morning, makes you coffee and breakfast and is already asking when he can see you again

• He cuddles you in the morning, rubs your back and revels in you still being there

• This happened to a woman I worked with who just got married this past weekend. She was giving up, felt the odds were very low for her as an AA woman and had some very insulting experiences with guys who seemed to be “players”

• Well that ended once we worked on some limiting beliefs she had (about her prospects). She set her standards higher and worked on her point of attraction

• Within just a couple of months, she met the most handsome guy you could ever imagine who is gentle, nurturing and head over heels in love with her. Nothing like anyone she had danced around with before

• Since these two got together, it has been sheer magic with one thing after another manifesting for them

• Culminating in a beautiful wedding this past weekend where she could not have been more radiant on this amazing man’s arm

• A very different story than what happened for you last night. You can hope for this same ending if we can change some things for you

• It’ll just be a distant bump on the road on your way to unimaginable bliss

I bless you for the love you SO deserve. It’s closer than you think!