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Q: Kathryn, the subject of kissing is coming up for me. In high school, I had a date ask if I had ever kissed before. It was humiliating, and it even got around school that I was a bad kisser. I’m not sure if I ever got over that either because I feel so insecure about kissing even now!
So I’m in your mastermind, and I’ve just started seeing the hottest guy I’ve ever dated. We had coffee for the first date, but he has already asked me out for this weekend
I’m so excited but still, I’m a nervous wreck about the kissing part. Do you have any tips about kissing? When we should have our first kiss (and I’m dying to kiss him – I am so attracted) and what is the best way to kiss?
A: I’m glad you asked this question because kissing is super important!
Studies show that not only do couples that kiss regularly have better marriages but they live longer and are more healthy
Kissing is the first step toward bonding with someone you’re interested in. After you’ve kissed there is something extra in your connection, you’ve added some oomph plus the promise of more to come . . .
However, if kissing goes wrong, it can be a deal breaker. Over half of people who broke it off early on did so over a kiss gone awry
Kissing is a great chemistry builder. I have another woman in our group who had a guy friend kiss her out of the blue, and now they are hot and heavy
She was practicing some of the connecting skills you guys are learning in the group and it worked!
When do you kiss?
If you’re practicing your flirting and connecting well, then you know the other person is attracted
You’ve been sharing some light touches, seeing the reaction and can gage where you are with each other
And you’ve been creating some chemistry, following what I’ve been teaching you
1. Kisses can happen at any time, but usually when you’re connecting deeply or saying good-bye
2. You want to be ready for it. Breath mints, clean teeth and even drinking water assure you’re appealing (bad breath or tasting bad are a real deal breakers). Keep some mints on hand or drink a bunch of water which improves your breath, too. You can even keep a small toothbrush and toothpaste in your purse or backpack and excuse yourself to brush your teeth during the date – especially after food
Lay off the garlic or onions for early dates, as well ;)
3. Everyone kisses differently, so the first touch of lips (if yours tend toward dry, start moisturizing them now) should be a “hello” – a light touch that you hold a moment and then pull away
4. Studies show guys in general like more tongue and women don’t want it to be too rough or a tongue almost choking them. So you need to be sensitive to it and go slow. A little tongue pretty early but with a gentle touch
5. Imagine your energies merging as you kiss and it’s fine to allow yourself to get hot and bothered. As you connect, you want to be really in tune with your partner – what they like, how it’s going, so you meet them energy wise and motion wise. If they’re a little more ardent, meet them there. And if their tongue is gently exploring, explore back
I have to admit I’m laughing at going down this road – it could get kind of romance –novely
But I know it’s important due to some of the crazy stories I get in my work that have to do with kissing
This is a good start. Because we’re working together, then I’m holding your hand through all of the stages, and we’ll parlay this into what you want
I’m proud you’re manifesting so well, so let’s keep going!
Much love & support to you as you savor this blossoming romance. I’ve got your back!
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