Q: Kathryn, I did something really stupid on a date, and he has not called since. It was the 4th date with a guy a really, really like. I kind of told him about a relative's wedding in four months and implied we were going together. His eyebrows raised. I didn't mean it to slip out, but I do futurize about him in my head. He's just so perfect -- exactly what I've been looking for.
He was a bit distant after that, and I just felt like a fool. I'm sure I stumbled as I changed subjects. He dropped me off, saying he'd call but hasn't and it's been a couple of weeks. He used to call every few days.
Is there anything I can do to retrieve this? Or should I give up? How can I avoid this kind of thing in the future? I feel like I always mess things up.
A: I would give him one more chance. Send him a short text to ask how he's doing, and after that, just relax. It's not the best to trot out an agenda too soon or futurize before you see where it's heading. If you're ahead of them, giving them time to catch up is a good idea.
However, having said that I have a comforting thought for you:
• You CANNOT SCREW UP with your One. Not possible. When you are with your soulmate, even if you behave badly, even if you fumble and all of your insecurities are up, you will not be able to scare him or her away.
• I have countless stories of this being the truth about soulmate. While it is not an excuse for you NOT to deal with those places in you that need healing (you will have to learn to behave better as part of your spiritual journey), your imperfections and screw-ups won't deter true love from you.
• I have worked with hundreds of people who have had a REALLY bad first date and yet ended up with the person. Why? Because they were both VERY interested in one another and so nervous that the date was an absolute disaster.
• One woman had a hot flash right in the middle of a date, and her date, instead of being disgusted, thought it endearing. He had the waiter bring a fan and some ice for her. They later married!
• When your date is interested in you, it keeps them hanging in even through awkwardness, nervousness and feet in mouths :-). I've also seen many stories of someone freaking out in a relationship, behaving badly or disappearing altogether, and yet still it works out in the end.
• Take heart that you can't screw up something that was meant to be. It will work out. Use this to go forward with confidence and to alleviate your fears. It will make the journey to love much easier.
I'd love you to sign up for my upcoming free class Become Irresistible. I'll show you how to attract someone who's even hotter and who will not even blink an eye if you drop a comment about a wedding a few months in the future. He'll be GLAD of it because he knows it means you're thinking of seeing him in the future.