I'm just about to give up on love . . .
Q: Kathryn, I love your work. I've read your book Love Will Find You and done all the exercises (twice) and regularly do the audio recordings as well.
I'm 36 and I've been single for three years now although it feels like longer because my relationship history is limited and the relationships I have had have been very dysfunctional due to my childhood issues and dysfunctional patternings. Having spent most of my adult life working through these issues and recently coming across your work, I feel like be done and am doing everything to be open and available to my soul mate. I've reached a point where I feel like I'm losing hope. Do you have any advice for someone for when they have reached a point of hopelessness with this work?

A: Let's not throw the baby out with the bath water. Some religions espouse getting rid of all worldly desires. And honestly, this can be for the purpose of ceasing to be so frustrated. You do feel better if you've been super frustrated. 

But is it necessary to take it that far? 
To quit wanting what we want?

No, it's not. There's a better way. The truth is that you feel so bad about love because:

a) you're checking the souffle while it's still cooking so naturally, it falls. Don't do that! Give yourself some time to manifest, and quit looking every second to notice you haven't yet met anyone.

b) patterns of negativity and pain still take over, so yes, there is more healing to be done, though it doesn't have to take long

c) when you think of love, it's from the vantage point of a have-not, which is painful. When you think of something, and it seems in range, your thoughts are full of hope. But when it seems impossible, it's not fun to ponder upon it.

So what's the solution?

a) give yourself time to heal and manifest. Don't be so impatient when you are obviously still in process

b) keep chipping away at your default emotional and mental state, which seem to be still full of fear and worry. The opposite is FAITH, and that's our goal. To get you to a state of wellbeing and peace

c) I'd love you to start imaging love is within your grasp, and you're on your way right now. This will make the thought of love less painful, and you won't feel so much like giving up. Also, it is true!



Finally, my books and CD's touch the surface and for many, they are enough. But if you've had trauma or a lifetime of hurt, you may need to do deeper work -- with a full-on course or program I offer or even my coaching program.

I'm blessing you, and I hope you'll hang in there! Much love & support to you! ♥

Crackling chemistry is a sign it's your soulmate -- though chemistry alone is not enough. 

There are ways to know if there's chemistry pretty quickly -- I detail this in the video (the last of my summer teaching tour videos -- shot on a boat near a glacier in Alaska)

If you are in doubt about the attraction between you and someone you're seeing, this will help you out.


Make SURE you include chemistry prominently on the list of things you're looking for in your mate. The other one I always ask people to add is "available" -- a whole other subject.

Enjoy, and let's connect again soon!

love,
Kathryn