Q: I have recently been introduced to you and your work. I have some questions around soulmates that I was hoping you could answer.
I am looking for love, and your book that I read really gave me hope and inspiration that my soulmate is actually out there looking for me as I am looking for him.
What I wonder is:
1) Is there truly only ONE soulmate for each of us?
2) Is this soulmate truly created for us, or do we create this idea of a soulmate? Your book has me believe that there is one soulmate for us, but then I wonder what the point of dating is. If my soulmate is looking for me, then maybe I should be doing more self-work instead of online dating. Thoughts?
3) This question is a bit more specific to me. I was born to immigrant Greek parents and raised in very traditional Greek culture in Canada. My parents would be extremely pleased and would prefer that I marry a man who is also Greek - same religion, same culture, same language. If being Greek is one of my deal breakers, my pool of men decreases tremendously. Yet I know also it would be much easier to meet and marry someone who is Greek for a lot of reasons. Does this mean that my soul mate is likely Greek? When I'm with a man, I'm always "what if'ing". What if he was Greek, what if he made more money, what if he lived closer, what if he owned a boat?" I don't know what to make of these "what if's"....is it me not ready for a commitment, or does it mean I haven't found the one? Or maybe I don't know what my "one" looks like? Should these be deal breakers?
Any insight you could share with me, I would be truly grateful and appreciative of.
A: I’m so happy you’re enjoying my work. And thanks for asking this question. It’s the most asked question I get in live workshops.
Here’s my answer
• Yes, I believe each person has someone they’re meant to be with. You can’t miss them and you will be drawn together.
A lid for every pot! (my Southern way of saying this).
• This has nothing to do with dating! So I’m glad you brought that up.
• I define dating as the process of getting to know one another, and you can’t skip it – even with your soulmate.
• Yes, the inner work is FIRST. If you line up, your soulmate will come to you without your having to do something that feels awkward. It’s more important than online dating by far. Online dating will be like spinning your wheels unless you’re lined up first and once you feel better on the inner, you don’t have to worry so much about the HOW that you’ll meet someone (you still have to date).
• Your being so drawn to someone Greek means your soulmate may have these characteristics. But I would say “this or something better,” knowing that if he’s not Greek, he will still fit in well with your life
• Quit doing that thing you’re doing on dates! To evaluate heavily and be judgy during the date takes away from being fully present and connected during a date, which is your only job. It’s almost impossible to really SEE someone when your mind is going in a million directions that are not very positive. You can evaluate later!
I hope this helps. As you do the inner work, your soulmate will come to you and it will click in perfectly with no more second guessing.
This has been true of everyone on our vast wall of weddings. Love always came in magically, and the inner work to line up was always the most important step.
I’m blessing you for the soulmate you so deserve. You’re getting there, and I appreciate the great questions!