After working with tens of thousands of people for years on dating issues, I have no doubt what the most difficult aspect of dating is. It is so painful for some that they eschew dating altogether even if it means they won’t find love.
THE ANSWER: The not knowing as you go through the process. Yes, being vulnerable, a requirement for love, and not being able to foresee how love will show up drives people mad. And for no good reason!
How to get over this serious difficulty? Change your thinking about it.
1. Realize it’s exhilarating. Part of the excitement of falling in love is the unpredictability and the anticipation. No one would skip this part when they finally meet their One.
2. Deepen your faith. Remind yourself that love is a done deal for you and will show up in the perfect way (even if your love life looks DOA right now). It will make this process less maddening. You do get love for sure – remember that!
3. Remember: that you can’t skip the process but the end result is worth it. 99% of those I work with would probably skip dating if they could and just go get married (seriously). But of course, this isn't possible. Even if the next person you date is your soulmate (& by all means, affirm this if it’s what you want), you still have to undergo the getting-to-know-you phase, otherwise known as dating.
I bless you for finding an easy way to date – the payoff is worth it!
Talk to you soon!
Wednesday, April 14th, 2010
Hi! We are back from Hong Kong! As promised, I’m posting some photos here. It was an amazing trip, though a bit chilly (we bought jackets!). Jon and I are scooting to explore 4 other Philippines islands before we leave, and we all are dropping by Beijing on our way back to the U.S.