Q:  Hey Kathryn! I love your work and it helped me meet a guy several years ago who landed in my lap. Problem is, it's a bit of a crazy love. We have broken up often but just can't seem to quit each other. To be honest, it's not that fun any more, but the thought of parting ways for good just breaks my heart

We are definitely in a rut, which is why I enjoyed the Rut Class so much. Do you think that getting out of my rut in this case means we have to break up?  Because I'm scared that's the answer, but sure don't want to face it. Is there any hope to work it out? Part of my problem is that he will not go forward with me as much as I want. I do want marriage and a family. And I've wasted years of my life on him at this point. Is leaving him the only answer?! I need your advice on this

A: I'm glad you heard the Get Out of Your Rut Class and that it's inspired you to try & figure this out. I'd hate you to spend another few years in limbo with your guy

Having said that, we don't know the answer yet, but it's entirely possible that you can retrieve this relationship, get it out of the rut and finally move forward into what you want with this man

There's a technique I use to kickstart something that is stalled. And it's been very effective in bringing relationships to soulmate level, where everything changes and it goes where you want it to go

The technique involves getting out of any bad pattern the relationship has fallen into

And also bringing it up to soulmate level

Even if your boyfriend doesn't know what you're doing, it only takes one person to uplevel the relationship and make it dynamic again

Set a secret intention that you will make it better
And then watch your energy, trying your best to stay in a good, centered and hopeful place even as things come up

It really does help to have someone walk this journey with you to get what you want

Q: I've been following your work for more than a year now.

I've read your books and I always listen to every webinar and Q&A, but nothing is working for me.

I feel like I grow and make progress with every class I listen to. I still have faith that love will happen for me and soon, but it's hard to stay strong in the dating desert.

rarely meet people out-and-about or even in church, although I do look around and try to project a friendly welcoming manner. I just joined match.com about 2 months ago and only about 5 guys have contacted me.

I emailed 2 (not any of the 5) but they were clearly not interested.

If I have a "block". I don't know what it is, but I'm pretty sure it's not the main ones you talk about, because I've given those considerable thought. I can't afford your programs.

Do you have any other advice? I feel like faith alone is not enough, which goes along with what I've heard you say that waiting and waiting is not the right approach either. I'm not sure what else to do, besides pray or meditate to have the block revealed to me.

What do you think?

A: You do have a block for sure, and I'm sorry for your experiences.

At some point, you probably should get additional help. It's too easy to read or hear something and not really do anything differently. Joining a course or getting coaching has been my breakthrough in several instances and paid for itself many times over.

Oftentimes, you need to go deeper with someone holding your hand through the hard parts.

But on to your question. There's nothing wrong with you BUT a block. You haven't identified what yours is yet, but you definitely have one or you'd be with your soulmate by now.

The good news is we don't have to identify what the block is. There is a shortcut to what you want, and it's something I seed into all of my work. If you can do this, things can change in an instant.

Love is the easiest thing to manifest in this way. It could happen any minute when you get yourself into the right energy.

What does this entail? Let me break it down.

1. Getting happy  more of the time. It's just that simple. Being happy is magnetic.

2. Shoring up your soft spots. Many who have difficulty finding love get knocked down from Soulmate Level on certain subjects or in certain situations. For example, one of my clients would find herself shrinking whenever she saw an attractive man. She would shut down, getting fearful. There was no way she could connect with the guy once her energy started sinking.

Her job (and yours) was to learn to stay at the high level at critical moments for her love life that scared her.

It took some practice but in this instance, she mastered it quickly and met a guy 9 days later who she is still with now. That's how fast it can go once you're at Soulmate Level.

3. Making sure you are open. Many I've worked with sabotage themselves without even knowing it. One person I worked with cherished her freedom more than she realized. Every time a good prospect presented himself -- a hot guy who was available -- she would mess it up or find fault until it was too late. We had to deconstruct this tendency - of which she was not aware - and fix it. Once we identified it, troubleshooting the pattern wasn't hard and now she is happily married.

What I've just outlined is the fastest way to love (and to anything else you want, too). It's worth it to get there.

Q: Kathryn, I feel so stuck in my life. I had a rough childhood and am so happy that at last I’m on my own now

But I hate my job and am barely making ends meet. And on top of that, I can’t seem to keep anyone I’m interested in

The ones I don’t want will come around but when I finally meet someone interesting (let’s call the last one “Phil), he’ll drift away after a few months together

Phil broke up with me last weekend and said he just wasn’t feeling it. After telling me at first that he could see a future with me and couldn’t stop thinking of me!!!

I’m so frustrated. How is my life nothing like I want it? I’m too old to keep doing this and pretty despairing at this point

Please help me. I’m extremely sick of my life right now

A: I’m so sorry you are suffering, and I totally get it

I’m glad you reached out, though, because I can help

Congrats on making it to adulthood and out of your bad childhood!

Unfortunately, it’s far too easy to get in a rut and not be able to pull yourself any further . . . just what you are experiencing now

So it really IS time to do something new to get different results, right?

It’s something I help so many do, even when they’d just about given up

So WHAT is the secret to surpassing yourself or even your family pattern? To getting unstuck & going beyond where you’ve ever been?

There are 2 ways that I use to help folks break through, and it’s why my success rate is so high . . . even for HOLDOUTS, those who don’t manifest easily

1. Think back to when you’ve had a breakthrough before – even like when you finally got to adulthood and could break free from your upbringing. Remember that exhilarating energy when you’ve leapt forward?

As you recapture that feeling, you can use it to propel yourself to where you want to go . . . even if it’s a totally different area of your life

2. Get pulled there by someone who is where you want to be

This second way is what my work does well, and it’s why so many people take a class from me and almost immediately break through to the love they’ve wanted for so long

I pull people with my writings and groups to a new and amazing level. I recently celebrated my 16th  year of being married to my soulmate and have a huge track record with thousands of weddings

My work provides a jolt of hope and openings, so that love walks right into the door . . . and you never look back

And other things show up, too, like the right profession, money and more

Q: Kathryn, summer is here, and I'm beyond ready for love. What can I do to find love this summer? I'm feeling more hopeful than usual.

A: Your hopefulness is already making you more magnetic to love. I hope you'll concentrate on keeping that faith and also having fun this summer.

In addition, here are 4 tips to make this your summer of love!

  • 4 Hot Tips to Attract Love

1. SIGNAL: If you are a woman, give a nonverbal signal when you're interested in a man. Prolonged eye contact can bring someone all the way across a crowded room. Despite what the bestseller THE RULES, says (let him make the first move), studies show that men generally will not approach a woman until they've gotten some signal of interest, whether it's a nod, a smile or simply a friendly eye gaze.

And no matter what gender you are, seeking a connection, being curious and warm toward someone makes you irresistible.

2. BE YOURSELF. Some experts say that you need to act this way or look that way, but studies don't bear out the notion of fitting yourself into some general mold of desirability. Reasons for attraction are so varied and so individual-specific that your best bet is to just be who you are, the most positive YOU with confidence, and the person who is attracted to your qualities will not be able to see past you.

One formerly single mom client who is now on my wall of weddings was always told she was too quiet and withdrawn to find love. As she did my work, an uncle showed up to pick up a child at her house from a playdate. He was taken with her and loved what a good listener she was.

It took him 45 minutes to collect his nephew and leave. He made sure he had her number before he drove away. The rest is history - the two tied the knot 18 months later. Not only did this show that love would come to her door but also that she never had to be something she was not. Her new husband adores her contemplative, sensitive nature. They're a perfect fit.

3. FORGET LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT and give an emotional bond and the ensuing chemistry time to develop. Studies overwhelmingly show that physical attraction levels vary between the first meeting and a deeper bonding time. Either the attraction grows or it peters out as the couple get to know each other. Many peopledevelop crushes with repeated exposure to an individual who they at first didn't find attractive which explains the phenomenon of office romances.

Just have fun this summer, enjoy flirting and bonding, and as you give love a chance to dawn, it will.

4. DO WHAT FITS YOU. If you're not the bar or on-line type, don't force yourself to visit bars or do the on-line dating thing. Studies show that the way people meet are so varied that you can't predict when love will happen. Chances are that if you don't like bars, you're not going to meet someone compatible in one. Better to do what feels natural to you and trust that love will find you.

  • Love Life Affirmation 
    I connect with my soulmate. I commit to him (or her). We are one. I continue to open to love. I am a magnet for my love this summer.

Here's a Q & A - a great one for anyone getting impatient to find love.

Q: Dear Kathryn,  I feel SO stuck in my life. It has been eons since I've even had a date.

I recently discovered your work, and for the first time in years, I'm finding hope that maybe I can find love after all.

Is there anything I can do to get out of this rut I feel like I'm in?


A: First off, let me say that even if you've waited a long time for love or almost given up, you still get love. That has not changed.

When you've had a long pattern of any kind, it takes a concerted, steady effort to change it. That's why a book or teleseminar here and there (or even a retreat) are not enough.

You need to institute a regular protocol to change things up. When I work with people privately, we lay in a regular combo of recordings, homework, meditations (hypnosis), daily practices and private sessions that keep them moving beyond blocks they may have.

This is the best way to break a bad "habit" -- or rut -- in love.

One of my private clients -- at age 51 -- recently used this practice to manifest the thing that had eluded her all of her life: the man of her dreams. He's the most handsome guy she has dated, highly successful and crazy about her, too.

I bless you for finding what can work the best to keep you moving into love. I have a feeling we may be adding your photo to our love wall soon :)