Q: I've been seeing this guy I really like. It started out super strong and now is petering out. He's not calling as much, and doesn't plan ahead for dates with me. I wonder if I did something wrong that pushed him away . . . like be too needy. Do you think there's a way to make this work out? I want it to so badly. Do you think I have a chance with him still? Or did I blow it? Please help me, Kathryn.
A: I have good news. There really is a chance that it can work out! But we would need to test it out and do some things differently just to see. Here's the dating advice or protocol I would prescribe.
1. Have you been doing all of the heavy lifting? Like the bulk of the texting, phoning and emailing to set things up? If so, you need to slack off. Back off and give him a chance to initiate some contact and even some plans.
We don't want to force it into happening. There needs to be some reciprocity and mutuality of interest.
2. Let go a bit while being warm and connected when you do communicate. This looks like calling less, finding other things to be busy about and doing a release on him internally -- something you probably know is a specialty of mine. This is one dating advice you’d want to keep.
3. Get and stay at soulmate level. Your vibration is everything. You can make anything work out, attract just like you want and more when you are in the right place energetically. Neediness and desperation are at the bottom rung of attraction and will never get you what you want.
Soulmate Level is hopeful, released, happy and standing in how amazing you are. It brings just what you want to you.
4. Don't put all of your eggs in this one basket (of this guy no matter how much you like him). This is another dating advice you should take seriously. Look around and be open to others (if you aren't in a committed situation which I gather you're not). Flirt and focus elsewhere.
I bless you for working this out. It's possible, and remember that no matter what, you get love with your soulmate. Hope you find my dating advice helpful.
I'm sending you love & support!
Q: Kathryn, I'm just starting to date a guy, and he has been making some sexual innuendos from the beginning. On date #3 last Saturday, he asked me if I knew the "3 date rule" when I didn't want to get hot-and-heavy.
I'm supposed to have sex with someone if we get to 3 dates?! That freaks me out. I like him but this is scaring me.
Is it true? Is there a 3 date rule?! I'm more conservative than that and need more time to warm up and make sure this is where I want to go. Is it wrong of me to want a commitment before getting that close?
A: No doubt the "3 date rule" was invented by someone looking for a booty call to up their odds of success - LOL!
But rest assured, there is no "3 date rule." There's not a "48 hour rule" either -- that you have to wait to get in touch with someone after you get their info.
• There are no rules at all. Each of us has to date in a style that suits us. So, if you are conservative, then you can absolutely wait until you're in a committed relationship (or even married) before going that far.
• Anyone who pulls a rule out to try & coerce you into doing something you're not feeling is showing themselves in that moment. The true agenda comes out.
• If you like him and if he is your One, then he'll wait and honor you. If he still pushes, I would eliminate him and know that someone who respects you and will honor your timing lies ahead. He's be worth holding out for!
• No one -- certainly not you -- is desperate enough to compromise on something like this.
• You will not get what you want if you do give in. And you will be upset and let down.
If you are doing my work, then you are already engaging in a magnetization process that will not fail you. Have some patience and you will meet your One and the timing will unfold perfectly.
Let's work on attracting the Real Deal rather than settling for so little. No more wasting your time!