Q: Dear Kathryn, I keep attracting scary guys – ones who make my skin crawl. And when I try to make contact with attractive guys, they ignore me. I am so tired of having to suck up my feelings and have a stuff upper lip like a marine. Even some of my male friends call me GI Jane and say I am one of the strongest women they know emotionally. What advice would you give for people who have reached the end of their rope like me? Thanks.
A: I’m sorry you’re having this experience. The fact that you feel like a soldier at war is not good. It means you’re approaching life as though it were a battle zone, which I know if feels like for you right now.
The truth is that life can be very easy – like an endless vacation. But we need to change some things.
What you’re drawing into your experience indicates that your point of attraction is off. It can be for a number of reasons, but central to it seems to be a lack of healthy self-image.
Being approached with unwanted attention usually means you lack proper boundaries.
And when those you want to connect with are ignoring you, it often shows that you are carrying a “script” that says “I’m not worth noticing.”
These can be altered. We need to lay in some better boundaries for you. Then the “creeps” will steer clear of you. And as you change your script to one that says: “I’m worthy and a catch, hotties will line up to pay you some attention.”
I bless you for stepping into the different life you SO deserve!
Love & support, Kathryn
Q: Kathryn, my mom is getting dementia, and I’m faced with moving her into a facility – which is going to be a process. I’ve also got a gigantic project at work that is stressing me out. I fear that my love life is being hijacked. I was just feeling ready for love, and now all of this! Should I just give up for now, or is there still hope for me and love?
A: In my books, I recount stories of people who have found love at the most unlikely times.
- A woman bald as a cueball undergoing chemotherapy for cancer who fell in love with one of the clinic workers.
- A man whose mother had died who met his future wife at the funeral.
- A writer on book deadline – completely stressed – who met her fiancé in a café she hung out in to get some chapters done.
Love is so magical that it is always limitless in when and how it shows up.
Remember that, and I bless you for getting your mom settled well, your project successfully completed & still finding many moments of job . . . and yes, even love . . . along the way.
I'm sending you love & support for hanging in there until love shows up.
Love & support, Kathryn