Q: I am having a complicated problem of too many unwanted men beating down my door (thanks to your work!) but the right one is sitting on the fence.
Kindly help me in turning the things around ;-)
Heartfelt gratitude, love and light.
A: Hey, congrats on gaining some momentum in your love life.
It’s a great sign that you’ve got guys buzzing around.
AND that you’ve met someone you really like.
Often, when we meet someone we are taken with, we sabotage ourselves:
• By being over anxious
• And shy
• Plus being intimidated
It kind of sucks because the one we want the most is the one we can have the most trouble with.
Luckily there’s a very easy solution that I’ve used to help my students gain the interest of the one they’re crushing on.
And it’s not even hard.
I talked about it a bit in the just-ended “Become Irresistible” class.
Step 2: do the right things
· Set a course for love
· Conform to it
· Keep yourself steady – no drama
Sounds like you probably have some work to do here.
If you already have a connection -- some sort of bond -- we can work with that, but we have to do more.
• You need to take the connection you have and deepen the bond.
• We can’t have any drama, even your getting flustered by him. It can really get in the way.
• There’s an ABC approach I use that gives you the stages of taking that small connection and getting him to think of you, to wonder about you and want more & more.
• Before you know it, he’s the one now beating down your door, seeking to spend more time.
• And you never did anything to pursue him. Just fostered the connection already there.
That’s how I worked with the above client who suddenly got her crush to go ga-ga over her. She is having so much fun right now.
It’s a complete whirlwind!
If you grab one of the spots in upcoming “Create-a-Mate” Course, let’s work on this to make it happen.
One of the bonuses you get is the ABC Connecting course, and I can hold your hand through applying it for amazing results.
I’m blessing you! This is very easy to fix and it’s so much fun watching a romance blossom with the one you really want.
Q: I have recently been introduced to you and your work. I have some questions around soulmates that I was hoping you could answer.
I am looking for love, and your book that I read really gave me hope and inspiration that my soulmate is actually out there looking for me as I am looking for him.
What I wonder is:
1) Is there truly only ONE soulmate for each of us?
2) Is this soulmate truly created for us, or do we create this idea of a soulmate? Your book has me believe that there is one soulmate for us, but then I wonder what the point of dating is. If my soulmate is looking for me, then maybe I should be doing more self-work instead of online dating. Thoughts?
3) This question is a bit more specific to me. I was born to immigrant Greek parents and raised in very traditional Greek culture in Canada. My parents would be extremely pleased and would prefer that I marry a man who is also Greek - same religion, same culture, same language. If being Greek is one of my deal breakers, my pool of men decreases tremendously. Yet I know also it would be much easier to meet and marry someone who is Greek for a lot of reasons. Does this mean that my soul mate is likely Greek? When I'm with a man, I'm always "what if'ing". What if he was Greek, what if he made more money, what if he lived closer, what if he owned a boat?" I don't know what to make of these "what if's"....is it me not ready for a commitment, or does it mean I haven't found the one? Or maybe I don't know what my "one" looks like? Should these be deal breakers?
Any insight you could share with me, I would be truly grateful and appreciative of.
A: I’m so happy you’re enjoying my work. And thanks for asking this question. It’s the most asked question I get in live workshops.
Here’s my answer
• Yes, I believe each person has someone they’re meant to be with. You can’t miss them and you will be drawn together.
A lid for every pot! (my Southern way of saying this).
• This has nothing to do with dating! So I’m glad you brought that up.
• I define dating as the process of getting to know one another, and you can’t skip it – even with your soulmate.
• Yes, the inner work is FIRST. If you line up, your soulmate will come to you without your having to do something that feels awkward. It’s more important than online dating by far. Online dating will be like spinning your wheels unless you’re lined up first and once you feel better on the inner, you don’t have to worry so much about the HOW that you’ll meet someone (you still have to date).
• Your being so drawn to someone Greek means your soulmate may have these characteristics. But I would say “this or something better,” knowing that if he’s not Greek, he will still fit in well with your life
• Quit doing that thing you’re doing on dates! To evaluate heavily and be judgy during the date takes away from being fully present and connected during a date, which is your only job. It’s almost impossible to really SEE someone when your mind is going in a million directions that are not very positive. You can evaluate later!
I hope this helps. As you do the inner work, your soulmate will come to you and it will click in perfectly with no more second guessing.
This has been true of everyone on our vast wall of weddings. Love always came in magically, and the inner work to line up was always the most important step.
I’m blessing you for the soulmate you so deserve. You’re getting there, and I appreciate the great questions!