By and far the biggest question people ask me about love is: “What am I doing wrong!?

So I’ve made a list of the biggest mistakes people make in trying to make a love connection

I’m all too familiar with these because I’ve helped so many people – even those who have been frustrated for YEARS – find love
We HAD to do something differently to get a different result. And you will need to as well – though it doesn’t have to be super hard

The 3 Biggest Mistakes that Keep Love From You

Mistake #1: Hoping something will happen on 
its own

Far too many people just give up trying or worse, just keep doing what they’re doing without making a significant change

They imagine something happening (which is a good start)… but never actually do anything, just hoping that the chance will “come up”

It doesn’t work that way. You have to be willing to change something, to try something new if you are serious about finding love

Your pattern will continue, and you’ll waste yet more time. Not good

Mistake #2: Making yourself easy to be overlooked . . . even invisible

A script is an energy you carry that makes people notice you -- or not -- and informs them on how to treat you

People can read your script in an instant, as we demonstrate in my live workshops. It’s just crazy how this works – how much you can know about a person before they even open their mouth to speak

Want to know what your script is? Just look at how you’ve been treated

Are you noticed? Or are you ignored? Are you honored? Or have you been disrespected? Do your relationships last or fizzle?

In dating, transforming your script is essential if you’re getting bad results

If you have hidden your inner light, it shows. And it’s hard to attract someone you would actually want

If you have confidence issues, it will repel those you want the most

So we have to deal with this mistake and change it

We did an exercise that began to change your script. But it takes a concerted effort to change it for good and consequently the results you’re getting

And by the way, changing your script can save a relationship or pull in the person you're with now if it's starting to wane. That has become one of my specialties when working with people live

Mistake #3: . . .

I’m going to tell you Mistake #3 – which deserves an entire post to itself – in my next email

It’s an overlooked part of dating that you REALLY need to know about

It makes the difference between remaining single and frustrated and sealing the deal with the one you want, that person who sings your heart, who fascinates you and really sees you and gets you

This hot person wants you and only you and desires to make you his or her forever love

I know you can’t wait to be in their arms for good, and I’m committed to helping you get there!

To hear an audio version of this newsletter, click here

Q: Kathryn, the last 4 guys who were asking me out were not ones I could ever imagine myself with. Just not what I want, and I’d be settling if I went out with them

And then I have met two really hunky men in the past couple of weeks who would not give me a second glance

I even tried to get their attention and suggested going for coffee. But nada. Zip. No reciprocity and I felt like a dolt for even asking

What am I doing wrong that I never meet anyone who I like who would be into me? I really don’t want to have to settle for a guy I’m not into

A: Sorry you are having this experience

It sounds to me like you are not up to speed with the ones you find attractive

You probably have a “script” that say “I’m not worthy” or “You’re way above me”

I find this is common

We would need to change this to get different results because the one that is attractive to you is most likely to be your soulmate since you have crackling chemistry together

It can take some getting used to – connecting with someone who you may have thought was out of your league

But we have to bridge this gap for you to welcome in the love you want

I bless you

The worst hell of all is wanting something but believing you cannot have it. 

For some, it is easier just to opt out, and get very zen and accept what life throws at you.

Abandoning hope feels better than FRUSTRATED hope. 

But as you may know, I’m a Deliberate Creator at heart, which is what I teach.

And I come from the premise that you can have ANYTHING YOU WANT. 

This approach has worked for thousands because it is based in faith. 

If you want it, you get it. Our desires are put into us by the Divine because we GET them.

When you run into something that is proving difficult for you to manifest, it is due to lack of belief that you can actually have it.

This is where we get busy in deliberately creating what we want.

It is a joy to do so, and the journey, the wanting, the anticipation become absolutely delicious.

If hell is frustrated wanting . . . then heaven is hopeful wanting -- believing you CAN have it (faith).

The wanting becomes anticipation, and making it happen is the ride of your life! 

Please know that if there is something you want, then you can have it.

It’s just a matter of regaining faith about it and moving forward into creating it. 

I support you in becoming an awesome Deliberate Creator!


Usually, when I’ve worked with people privately or in small groups, there is ONE THING that holds them back from getting what they want: a primary issue. 

Some know, and have tried to no avail to get rid of it.

Others have no clue, and it is an amazing when the light goes on.

Things go QUICKLY as blocks are released. 

Not only have you internalized beliefs that hold you back, there are people close to you who DO NOT want you to succeed (sad to say). And you probably feel that pressure on some level. 

Some are scared of risk and humiliation and find it easier just to play it safe.

But every person who manifests their desires had to put the fear, the limits to rest in order to be able to realize their dreams.

So, here's the good news. 

It is AMAZING how fast folks get what they want once they identify their issue, address is properly and move beyond it.

They fly into a whirlwind romance with their soulmate. 

All of a sudden, money starts pouring in. 

It can change just that quickly.

EXERCISE: If you're not sure what your delay is, spend some time thinking about it. The clue is look for what shrinks you. What makes you feel small or causes you to hesitate? What feels bad?

As you pinpoint what it is, imagine what it would be like to be free of this delay. What would you do? What do others who don’t let this hold you back do?

This begins to pull you forward beyond the hold up.

I look forward to helping you more with this!

To hear an audio version of this newsletter, click here

Q: Kathryn how can I believe in soulmate love when all I see are unhappy couples struggling and also divorce? I’m not married but right now, many of my friends are either in the midst of a divorce or in a bickering, miserable relationship that I would never want

I know I don’t want that. I don’t want to ever have to get divorced. And I don’t want a husband that I fight with all of the time

I’d rather stay single than any of that! Please tell me how to keep hope when I have no idea that soulmate love could really exist when I see all of this happening around me?

A: We need to work on changing your perspective. When you have that idea – that relationships are really not that great of a thing to have – then you will get evidence to support it, unfortunately

So we need to reframe it for you with a better belief and then look to get it backed up

A belief to have that will help you is this (a great affirmation to memorize in your case:

A relationship with my soulmate is EASY, harmonious and never ends
When you are with your soulmate, it’s the easiest relationship you’ll ever have (so none of your past experience or what you see around you is relevant
• And it’s not even remotely hard to stay together

People that you are seeing around you in unhappy relationships have never experienced soulmate love

They settled before they met their true soulmate which is why they’re divorcing or bickering
If you really want the love of your life, you’re going to have to decide that this is not true for YOU
Otherwise, you’ll keep finding evidence to support this bad idea of relationships you have, and be unable to produce the love you want

I’m so lucky that with what I do, I only see happy couples around me. Those I work with plus most of my friends and family are in soulmate relationships that are easy, harmonious and long-lasting
And yes, many of these unions are due to my work or influence

So remember that love is possible as are really good, soulmate relationships

I’m sending you my love & support for getting the love you so want & absolutely deserve!

To hear an audio version of this newsletter, click here

Q: Wow, Kathryn! I did your Soulmate Bootcamp, and I’m now faced with what you call a “quality problem”
I’ve met the hottest guy I’ve ever laid eyes on and we’ve been on a couple of dates
But I’m completely intimidated by him. He feels WAY out of my league!!!!

It’s a miracle I’ve gotten through two dates with him, and we have another one coming up this weekend
How can I not blow it with him? I’m sure he’s going to lose interest any minute, especially with me acting all nervous and stuff
What can I do? I’d be so grateful for your input – thank you!
A: Almost every single I’ve worked with is occasionally intimidated by someone they find attractive

And yet, that person is the most likely to be their soulmate (and this guy may be yours)

Remember that you will have crackling chemistry with your One, so it’s a really good sign that you are super attracted to this man

The good news is no one is out of your league. We are all equal.

The solution is:

get rid of the idea that he’s above you
• elevate yourself to a place where he is NOT out of reach for you
I would look for ways to boost your self-esteem so you feel worthy of him
being self-conscious is kind of selfish – it’s all about YOU
so instead focus on him and your connection together
this should get you out of the worst of your intimidation

I bless you for getting the HOT love you deserve – get used to it because you do GET THIS

Q: Kathryn, my best friend and I are similar in the looks department. When we go out, the same amount of guys hit on us both.

But in the past five years, she has had three proposals while I struggle to get past the first date.

I go on many first dates, but they usually don’t ask me for a second one.

And the few relationships that have gone longer fizzle after a few months.

Is there something I’m doing wrong? I’m told I have a good personality, I’m easygoing and do try my best to flirt.

My friend and I are very similar but how does she manage to get so many guys ga-ga over her?

She herself doesn’t know, and I can’t see that big a difference between the two of us.

I’d love to get your advice on what I need to do differently.

A: That’s a great question, and I’m sorry you’re having issues with dating.

It’s definitely something you’re doing or NOT doing that your friend does, since you two are similar.

I’d venture to guess that it has to do with your energy and what you do on a date.

There are certain things you can do that will create chemistry right away – to get you beyond Date 1.

You can make it so it feels like it’s been longer and he’ll be wanting more of you.

You can use this same process to forge a deep bond fairly quickly so your date will want to go into a commitment with you.

As you probably know, a good portion of my massive Wall of Weddings are folks who had a similar problem.

I’ve coached many, many women into a commitment, engagement and wedding who had a series of fizzles before they found my work.

Here are some basics,

don’t try to be a big wit. That is NOT what creates a bond

ask more questions. There are several questions you can pose that will create a bond that has him wanting more

look in his eyes deeply and do smile. This is one of several bonding behaviors you can do to make him feel comfortable around you and close with you

make a conscious effort to flirt. Everyone has their unique style but flirting adds a light sexual connection which creates chemistry

I bless you for finding the perfect love for you, your soulmate, and learning to date toward that delicious goal.

Q: Hi Kathryn! My boyfriend and I split a few months ago, and I have to admit that the thought of him haunts me.

I can’t stop thinking about him! Even though there were good reasons why we broke up.

I wonder if I made a mistake.

And if I can even get him back if I wanted to.

What should I do? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please help!

A: Yes, you can get your ex back for sure

We have this whole phenomenon in my release work that caused us to put a warning on it, it’s so common for your ex to come knocking at your door once you undergo the letting-go process I teach.

SHOULD you want your ex back?

That depends. If it seems like you were not done and there was potential to grow, then maybe you need to give him another chance.

But only under certain conditions:

 He has to be eager to try again.

 You have to still want him & imagine being with him as a good thing.

 Your relationship can’t have been abusive or tear you down.

 You need to be able to see a future with him containing all that you want.

If it meets these criteria, then by all means, undergo the process to magnetize him back to you which is an inner process that will have him calling you up, texting you and begging for a meeting and another chance.
You can use the same process to make the relationship better than ever, too.

I bless you for finding the perfect love for you, your soulmate, whether it’s him or someone else.

Do you think you know everything about your mate? Wrong!

Every being is an endless well, and you can never get to the bottom of another person.

However, you can get into a rut where it starts feeling stale or old hat.

During our travels, I surprisingly learned a great deal about my husband of many years: things he knows (quantum physics), things he thinks about, things he can do (rescuing us in a storm on a sailboat, skillfully navigating a motorcycle even on wet, uneven pavement on a small island) and things he loves to do (driving in crazy, ridiculous traffic, like that of Paris and Thailand).

I challenge you to try a few new things this year in your relationship: go places, explore topics, take lessons, meditate together, hang out with new people, have some deep discussions. You will find renewal and the passion that goes along with keeping it dynamic, a delicious exploration of closeness.

If you are sick to death of being attached to someone who is not showing up, staying in a crazy love situation that has you off-balance or always falling for unavailable people and then being unable to shake the feelings for them, then I challenge you to try something different this year.

You really can let your past be your past, and turn over a new leaf. And I want this for you more than you know.

I recently got an email from a woman who spent 15 years of her life hanging on to past relationships while all she wanted was her true love. At age 40, weary of being so frustrated, she did my releasing work with a vengeance, met a whole new breed of guy (hot, available, into her), and it just WENT. She is now engaged, planning a fall wedding, a Moroccan honeymoon and starting a family quickly.

You can do this, too, no matter how wretched it has been. First comes the resolve, then the release and finally, the all-important replacement step.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, your 2017 intention for love may be first and foremost on your mind.

It’s a powerful time to call your soulmate in: the beginning of a new year, February 14th around the corner.

You just have to be willing to leave behind limits and accept the changes that will bring on love. Two keys are:

1) No longer giving in to negativity, limits or old, tired attachments: either in word, deed or thought. The more immaculate you can be in your energy, the faster things will go for you.

Example: no longer agree with your friends about how few prospects are out there or that all the good ones are married.

2) Keep your eyes on the future you want, the vision of your love intentions being realized. This means making peace with where you are now (giving it very little focus) and building an unbelievably rich “mental equivalent.”

Example: Imagine looking into your love’s eyes right now. The electricity, understanding & excitement. Reach out and touch him or her (in your