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Q: Kathryn how can I believe in soulmate love when all I see are unhappy couples struggling and also divorce? I’m not married but right now, many of my friends are either in the midst of a divorce or in a bickering, miserable relationship that I would never want

I know I don’t want that. I don’t want to ever have to get divorced. And I don’t want a husband that I fight with all of the time

I’d rather stay single than any of that! Please tell me how to keep hope when I have no idea that soulmate love could really exist when I see all of this happening around me?

A: We need to work on changing your perspective. When you have that idea – that relationships are really not that great of a thing to have – then you will get evidence to support it, unfortunately

So we need to reframe it for you with a better belief and then look to get it backed up

A belief to have that will help you is this (a great affirmation to memorize in your case:

A relationship with my soulmate is EASY, harmonious and never ends
When you are with your soulmate, it’s the easiest relationship you’ll ever have (so none of your past experience or what you see around you is relevant
• And it’s not even remotely hard to stay together

People that you are seeing around you in unhappy relationships have never experienced soulmate love

They settled before they met their true soulmate which is why they’re divorcing or bickering
If you really want the love of your life, you’re going to have to decide that this is not true for YOU
Otherwise, you’ll keep finding evidence to support this bad idea of relationships you have, and be unable to produce the love you want

I’m so lucky that with what I do, I only see happy couples around me. Those I work with plus most of my friends and family are in soulmate relationships that are easy, harmonious and long-lasting
And yes, many of these unions are due to my work or influence

So remember that love is possible as are really good, soulmate relationships

I’m sending you my love & support for getting the love you so want & absolutely deserve!

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Q: Wow, Kathryn! I did your Soulmate Bootcamp, and I’m now faced with what you call a “quality problem”
I’ve met the hottest guy I’ve ever laid eyes on and we’ve been on a couple of dates
But I’m completely intimidated by him. He feels WAY out of my league!!!!

It’s a miracle I’ve gotten through two dates with him, and we have another one coming up this weekend
How can I not blow it with him? I’m sure he’s going to lose interest any minute, especially with me acting all nervous and stuff
What can I do? I’d be so grateful for your input – thank you!
A: Almost every single I’ve worked with is occasionally intimidated by someone they find attractive

And yet, that person is the most likely to be their soulmate (and this guy may be yours)

Remember that you will have crackling chemistry with your One, so it’s a really good sign that you are super attracted to this man

The good news is no one is out of your league. We are all equal.

The solution is:

get rid of the idea that he’s above you
• elevate yourself to a place where he is NOT out of reach for you
I would look for ways to boost your self-esteem so you feel worthy of him
being self-conscious is kind of selfish – it’s all about YOU
so instead focus on him and your connection together
this should get you out of the worst of your intimidation

I bless you for getting the HOT love you deserve – get used to it because you do GET THIS

Q: Kathryn, my best friend and I are similar in the looks department. When we go out, the same amount of guys hit on us both.

But in the past five years, she has had three proposals while I struggle to get past the first date.

I go on many first dates, but they usually don’t ask me for a second one.

And the few relationships that have gone longer fizzle after a few months.

Is there something I’m doing wrong? I’m told I have a good personality, I’m easygoing and do try my best to flirt.

My friend and I are very similar but how does she manage to get so many guys ga-ga over her?

She herself doesn’t know, and I can’t see that big a difference between the two of us.

I’d love to get your advice on what I need to do differently.

A: That’s a great question, and I’m sorry you’re having issues with dating.

It’s definitely something you’re doing or NOT doing that your friend does, since you two are similar.

I’d venture to guess that it has to do with your energy and what you do on a date.

There are certain things you can do that will create chemistry right away – to get you beyond Date 1.

You can make it so it feels like it’s been longer and he’ll be wanting more of you.

You can use this same process to forge a deep bond fairly quickly so your date will want to go into a commitment with you.

As you probably know, a good portion of my massive Wall of Weddings are folks who had a similar problem.

I’ve coached many, many women into a commitment, engagement and wedding who had a series of fizzles before they found my work.

Here are some basics,

don’t try to be a big wit. That is NOT what creates a bond

ask more questions. There are several questions you can pose that will create a bond that has him wanting more

look in his eyes deeply and do smile. This is one of several bonding behaviors you can do to make him feel comfortable around you and close with you

make a conscious effort to flirt. Everyone has their unique style but flirting adds a light sexual connection which creates chemistry

I bless you for finding the perfect love for you, your soulmate, and learning to date toward that delicious goal.