Q: Hi Kathryn. I’ve really enjoyed your work but I feel like I have a block to love that I’ll never get rid of. I’m in a high demand job with a great deal of stress. It drains me so much that I have no time left to deal with romance.

When I try to make time for socializing, I literally have fallen asleep at parties 

Even if I met someone, I don’t know how I’d fit him into my packed schedule. A relationship just seems like added demands on me

But I don’t want to end up alone. Is there any way I can find love with this life I have?

A: It sounds like a lot on you. But rest assured, you have every hope for love

What can we do about your situation? Make a few changes

 We need to work on your internal climate & beliefs before taking any action

 It’s an issue I often deal with in private coaching & coaching groups. The two prong approach is to work on internal issues and then secondarily, change what you’re doing when not working

 The first internal shift is to find a way to put work on autopilot. You can be doing the same things with far greater stress

 The second internal shift is to start changing beliefs. Many who overwork have confidence issues. They measure their value in how much work they can do and feel they have to prove their worthiness by working far too hard

• I would tackle any belief that is running your work life including any of the following
- I have to work hard or I’ll fail
- I have to prove my value
- Hard work is necessary to succeed
- I never have any time

All of these beliefs will act true until we shift them. And once you get rid of them, newer and much nicer beliefs will rule your life

Your life can become quite charmed as a result and love is not far behind

• As we get your internal climate to nicer place, then and only then would we find some fun things to do beyond work

• And I would suggest leaving work in the office once you embark on personal time which you’ll have a lot more of as we balance your life better

So what can we do with this to get you where YOU’RE the happy one?

I hope this helps. I’ve helped many, many high flying careerists find balance and love. You can, too

The moment that you meet someone interesting, there is a tendency to get a bit crazy. What happens? Hope arises which in turn can bring up vulnerability, fear and anxiety. We used to see people in the Crisis Clinic suffering far too much over a new dating situation.

Because my work sees so much manifestation, we’ve had a rash of “no man’s land” panic lately. Up half the night waiting for a text. Agonizing on whether (s)he’s right or not. An anxiety attack over the thought of losing him while he’s on a trip.

My advice? Calm the heck down. Here’s how:

1. Remember that God doesn’t meet you ½ way or ¾ of the way. You GET your soulmate, no matter what.

2. Remind yourself that we all have different communication styles and some people might not phone as often. It doesn’t mean they’re not interested.

3. Get busy with your life. Do not hover over the
phone or keep checking for emails. As things blossom, you’ll have less time, so get your ducks in a row now. It’ll take your mind off the obsessing.

4. Take heart in the fact that you’ve met someone interesting. If you’ve set an intention for soulmate love, it’s already a done deal. This interest – regardless of whether it leads to more – is a sign you’re heading in the right direction.

Bottom Line: don’t let fear take away from your relishing this experience. You get love no matter what, so why not relax into the deliciousness of this interaction?

Here's to a FUN dating experience!

Q: Kathryn, I am guilty of always settling in love. I recently broke it off with a guy I just don’t have chemistry with even though he seems perfect on paper

My friends think I’m crazy but I just want someone that I can’t keep my hands off

Is that wrong?!

My issue is that I never seem to attract the ones I like. Many times, I’m just so intimidated they don’t notice me

Am I destined to always be with someone I’m not wild about?

Could I ever find a boyfriend who I actually have chemistry with?

A: The very definition of soulmates is that you have crackling chemistry

So let me reassure you that you DO get this – a man who you lust for, one in which you can feel the electricity between the two of you

He can’t keep his hands off of you. And you feel the same

You want to eat him up with a spoon :)

Here’s what it sounds like you’ve been doing wrong

1. You seem to have an idea that hot guys are out of your league

 And that would be why they intimidate you
 With this attitude, you count out the hot ones automatically
 They won’t notice you nor be attracted to you
 You simply cannot get what you feel you don't deserve

2. With that belief that hot guys are better than you, your connecting with them is probably non-existent or really bad

 I’ve had clients who felt like there was a wall between them and people they find attractive
 The risk of actually reaching out to them seems huge
 Until this belief is dealt with, nothing can change and you’re stuck with those you settle for, which is not good for either one of you

3. There is a way to overcome this issue easily, to reprogram your beliefs and the resulting actions so that with just a small signal, you can have anyone you want cross a crowded room to speak with you

 It doesn’t matter if you’re not the ideal weight or high up on the attractiveness scale
• That really has nothing to do with it
• When I taught this technique to a client I was working with, it changed everything for her
• She literally had never had guys notice her or chase her down for her number
 It took a very short time for us to that to change
• The first party at which she tried out this technique saw guys buzzing around her, begging for her number
• She had to get used to this, because she’d experienced it, and at this point, she was no spring chicken either
 But that didn’t matter. It’s not about your age, your weight, your physical condition, what you look like or anything external
• It’s about something you already have that you just have to claim and activate within

I bless you for finding that hot guy who was meant for you

He’s out there! As you do this work, you two will unite and the seventh honeymoon will be hotter than the first :)

If you have had a bad dating pattern – like going for unavailable or hurtful people, having chemistry with those who are bad for you or being closed due to past hurt – you are not alone. I have worked with thousands of people with similar patterns, and it has been gratifying to watch them dissolve unproductive patterns to date for their soulmate.

There is a way to shift your preferences and get rid of sabotaging dating habits once & for all.

1. See reality and know you can do SO much

better. If someone isn’t completely in to you, admit it. If someone pulls you down or creates misery for you, admit it. No longer try to romanticize something that is undeserving of you and vow to w ait for better: a mutual, supportive love.

2. See yourself better. As you realize how special and
sacred you really are, you will no longer allow anything unworthy of you. You will have better boundaries, not accept someone who treats you casually or worse, puts you down. You will no longer get hooked into an “eel” or waste time with someone who is not The One, keeping yourself free & available for your soulmate.

3. Imagine yourself with soulmate love. The key to moving beyond your past, what you have known so far, and into true love is to make where you are going more real than where you are now. Fantasize about what you want and keep it in mind so you won’t be tempted to settle.

As you shift, the people you experience chemistry with will change. And the reality of the love you GET will outshine even the richest fantasy you’ve had about someone from your past. (This is why people who do my work describe constant “pinch me” moments as they manifest soulmate love!) Keep your eye on the prize and it will materialize much sooner than if you continue to spin your wheels.