The moment that you meet someone interesting, there is a tendency to get a bit crazy. What happens? Hope arises which in turn can bring up vulnerability, fear and anxiety. We used to see people in the Crisis Clinic suffering far too much over a new dating situation.

Because my work sees so much manifestation, we’ve had a rash of “no man’s land” panic lately. Up half the night waiting for a text. Agonizing on whether (s)he’s right or not. An anxiety attack over the thought of losing him while he’s on a trip.

My advice? Calm the heck down. Here’s how:

1. Remember that God doesn’t meet you ½ way or ¾ of the way. You GET your soulmate, no matter what.

2. Remind yourself that we all have different communication styles and some people might not phone as often. It doesn’t mean they’re not interested.

3. Get busy with your life. Do not hover over the
phone or keep checking for emails. As things blossom, you’ll have less time, so get your ducks in a row now. It’ll take your mind off the obsessing.

4. Take heart in the fact that you’ve met someone interesting. If you’ve set an intention for soulmate love, it’s already a done deal. This interest – regardless of whether it leads to more – is a sign you’re heading in the right direction.

Bottom Line: don’t let fear take away from your relishing this experience. You get love no matter what, so why not relax into the deliciousness of this interaction?

Here's to a FUN dating experience!

Q: Kathryn, I am guilty of always settling in love. I recently broke it off with a guy I just don’t have chemistry with even though he seems perfect on paper

My friends think I’m crazy but I just want someone that I can’t keep my hands off

Is that wrong?!

My issue is that I never seem to attract the ones I like. Many times, I’m just so intimidated they don’t notice me

Am I destined to always be with someone I’m not wild about?

Could I ever find a boyfriend who I actually have chemistry with?

A: The very definition of soulmates is that you have crackling chemistry

So let me reassure you that you DO get this – a man who you lust for, one in which you can feel the electricity between the two of you

He can’t keep his hands off of you. And you feel the same

You want to eat him up with a spoon :)

Here’s what it sounds like you’ve been doing wrong

1. You seem to have an idea that hot guys are out of your league

 And that would be why they intimidate you
 With this attitude, you count out the hot ones automatically
 They won’t notice you nor be attracted to you
 You simply cannot get what you feel you don't deserve

2. With that belief that hot guys are better than you, your connecting with them is probably non-existent or really bad

 I’ve had clients who felt like there was a wall between them and people they find attractive
 The risk of actually reaching out to them seems huge
 Until this belief is dealt with, nothing can change and you’re stuck with those you settle for, which is not good for either one of you

3. There is a way to overcome this issue easily, to reprogram your beliefs and the resulting actions so that with just a small signal, you can have anyone you want cross a crowded room to speak with you

 It doesn’t matter if you’re not the ideal weight or high up on the attractiveness scale
• That really has nothing to do with it
• When I taught this technique to a client I was working with, it changed everything for her
• She literally had never had guys notice her or chase her down for her number
 It took a very short time for us to that to change
• The first party at which she tried out this technique saw guys buzzing around her, begging for her number
• She had to get used to this, because she’d experienced it, and at this point, she was no spring chicken either
 But that didn’t matter. It’s not about your age, your weight, your physical condition, what you look like or anything external
• It’s about something you already have that you just have to claim and activate within

I bless you for finding that hot guy who was meant for you

He’s out there! As you do this work, you two will unite and the seventh honeymoon will be hotter than the first :)

If you have had a bad dating pattern – like going for unavailable or hurtful people, having chemistry with those who are bad for you or being closed due to past hurt – you are not alone. I have worked with thousands of people with similar patterns, and it has been gratifying to watch them dissolve unproductive patterns to date for their soulmate.

There is a way to shift your preferences and get rid of sabotaging dating habits once & for all.

1. See reality and know you can do SO much

better. If someone isn’t completely in to you, admit it. If someone pulls you down or creates misery for you, admit it. No longer try to romanticize something that is undeserving of you and vow to w ait for better: a mutual, supportive love.

2. See yourself better. As you realize how special and
sacred you really are, you will no longer allow anything unworthy of you. You will have better boundaries, not accept someone who treats you casually or worse, puts you down. You will no longer get hooked into an “eel” or waste time with someone who is not The One, keeping yourself free & available for your soulmate.

3. Imagine yourself with soulmate love. The key to moving beyond your past, what you have known so far, and into true love is to make where you are going more real than where you are now. Fantasize about what you want and keep it in mind so you won’t be tempted to settle.

As you shift, the people you experience chemistry with will change. And the reality of the love you GET will outshine even the richest fantasy you’ve had about someone from your past. (This is why people who do my work describe constant “pinch me” moments as they manifest soulmate love!) Keep your eye on the prize and it will materialize much sooner than if you continue to spin your wheels.

Q: Dear Kathryn, 

I am a fan of your work.

I'm a single woman in my early thirties and my track record with men has been disastrous.

The men I went out with abused me.

In spite of the abuse I received, I stayed because I thought being with someone was better than being alone (I've always had issues with abandonment.)

They ended up leaving me in the end. I was never loved. 

I discovered your work while surfing Shortly thereafter, I met a guy who was completely different than my exes. He was attractive, kind, smart and treated me with decorum. I truly thought he was The One.

Then after two years of dating, he left me. Needless to say I was broken-hearted.

What went wrong for me? Am I destined to be alone? I fear opening again only to find a guy, who will leave me yet again.

A: I’m very proud of you that you’ve overcome settling for abusive guys. This is a huge step forward, and I know changing that pattern was not easy. To answer your question:

1) I call your experience a “soulmate benchmark.” It means that you had a breakthrough, and that counts. Even though it didn’t work out, rather than take it as another failure, I consider it a major step in the right direction, so keep going! You are unraveling years of a horrendous pattern, so it might take you a bit longer to get solid with a new one, but you’re doing super well.

2) Abandonment issues fly right out the window once you meet the love of your life, who will never abandon you.

3) Trying to avoid something (like future heartbreak) never works. It’s akin to the philosophy of not wanting anything, because then you won’t get disappointed. It’s best to have a vision of what you want instead and keep that in your heart.

4) You are NOT destined to be alone. The desires of our heart are put there by God, because we GET them. So, love is in your future, but you must consciously choose it. I really hope you will!

I would say 95% of those I work with have had a bad dating pattern that we transcended

And almost 100% secretly feared they would end up alone

0% -- NONE -- of them ended up alone in the end

Neither will you

 A recent client who got engaged spent 5 years as a single mom, and her longest relationship had been just 3 months

 She was sure she was unlucky in love and would never have it

 Plus she was ON HER KNEES with the weight of single motherhood plus her fears about love

 It was with great delight that we turned her around, got her more resilient with dating

 Yes, she weathered a couple of bumps in the road but met an amazing guy after 3 months, one far superior to any guy she'd ever dated

 This one stuck, and they are now getting married in a couple of months

 She is SO GLAD nothing ever worked out before, because she says she would never have been this happy with anyone else

So hang in there! You will have this, too. I affirm the best is yet to come!

Q: Kathryn, I've got a guy in my life who is totally frustrating. He comes on strong and then backs off. I'm quite addicted to him. But I fear he will never give me what I want. I seem to remember you talking about an eel, and I'd love it if you could give me some advice on what to do with this frustrating man.

A: You may not like my answer, but my question for you is how long do you want your life to be in limbo over this guy?!

 He will probably never give you what you want and deserve. Here's some more info on dealing with an eel.

 As you know, I often deal with people coming out of a divorce or breakup. Or those with an stubborn attachment to another person.

 Some of the worst cases of attachment I've seen come from people who got hooked by THE EEL.

 Definition of The Eel: someone who seems in your grasp, but then slithers away just when you thought it was going somewhere, only to reappear again as you give up hope. 

 This is akin to the mouse-cheese experiment so famous for explaining addictive attachment toward another person. The mouse would hurt itself when sporadically offered the cheese, whereas both the mouse who regularly got cheese and who never got cheese accepted the situation calmly.

 If you are being distracted by an eel, I invite you to adopt my rule concerning eels. Don't touch! Eels seem to somehow NEED to keep you dangling, and it can be terribly exciting playing this game, but it doesn’t produce a soulmate relationship. 

 My advice: recognize when you're swimming after an eel and change course. Yes, letting go of the hope will hurt, but every time someone swims in a different direction while doing my work, they end up finding their soulmate quickly. If you keep your eye on the love ahead waiting for you, it will make the release much easier. 

If you are in doubt about whether it can work out or not (and in most cases, you are simply in denial), I suggest this technique for seeing if this relationship is salvageable.

 When the suspected eel lets you down -- disappears, doesn’t call when (s)he says, suddenly wants to cool things down -- give him or her notice. You can do this playfully, s o it doesn’t become heavy, but draw a boundary here. “Flakes are just not my favorite cereal, if you get my drift. I’m liable to brunch elsewhere if it gets too flaky around here.” This takes back your power, while keeping it light. 

 Keep track with a three strike maximum limit. If eel-like behavior shows up three times, this is a trend. It’s too much to ignore. Unless you want to continue in a frustrating, uphill battle to make this person become reliable, I would bail at this point.

 Do some release work, and remind yourself that
your soulmate will leave no doubt that they want to be with you and they will be even hotter to you than the eel has been.

I bless you for moving on and being free to find REAL LOVE on the double. You just have to get past the pesky eel :)

Hey there, it's Kathryn and happy Valentine's Day!

Today's Q & A is an answer to what I did when I had my lonely Valentine's Days, and I hope it will help you, too

Have a great one!


Q:  Kathryn, you mentioned that you suffered through many lonely Valentine's Days, but right before your husband came, you made it into a day of hope. Can you tell me how you did that?

A: It was a process of gaining more faith. I accepted that for the time being, I was single, but affirmed that I would soon have Valentine's Day with my One. (And what I'd add for you is the reminder that once you're with your soulmate, it will make up for every lonely Valentine's Day you've had.)

Next, I would make sure to send some love to my guy on February 14th, wherever he was in the world (In hindsight, I now know he was not far away & looking for me, too).

Finally, I bought him a card that I knew I would one day give him. (Sure enough, I did give it to him: on our wedding day. And he shed a tear over it!) 

I suggest you do the same: send some love and buy your One a card or gift for future delivery. It's a great act of faith, and I"ll bet it'll make you feel good, as it did for me.

I bless you for using this day to hasten your journey into the arms of love.

Are you single and kind of dreading Valentine's Day? You are not alone. I have tons of emails every year from people in your same boat so take comfort from that. I'd like to help by reminding you of the following:

1. Valentine's Day was created by a chocolate company! It is a manufactured holiday and while, yes, it's fun to send love reminders to people, it is JUST ANOTHER DAY. When you are in love, you celebrate regularly and don't need a special day to remind you. And when you're single, you may think, "bah, humbug!" and that's just fine.

2. The majority of Valentines and even flowers go out to non-sweethearts. More flowers and remembrances are sent and received by students, teachers and family members than by romantic partners. So claim this holiday for YOU whether you've met a romantic soulmate or not. And remember that there are non-romantic soulmates such as pets, parents, friends, children and even siblings so tap into that love energy which connects you to the same unconditional love that you will feel when you come together with your One.

3. Make a point to send out love to the soulmate you haven't met yet. Buy them a card to give them later or spend a few moments thinking of them and sending a message to them on the inner.

4. Every one of us has been the only office worker NOT to receive flowers on an occasion. This day is in NO way a competition to see if you're loved or not. Of COURSE you are! So remove your ego from being in such a competition and if anyone wants to rub it in, feel bad for them that they would need to resort to such a low vibe.

5. When you are with your One, it will make up for EVERY bad Valentine's day you ever had. If this one isn't that great, it will get healed in the future, I promise!

Have a good one, and I bless you for love beyond your wildest dreams!


Q: Kathryn, I've been doing your meditations and I feel like I'm doing them wrong. I'm really bad at trying to vision things. Sometimes my mind wanders. And on top of that, when you ask me what I want, I just draw a blank.

Is this going to stop me from manifesting? Is there something wrong with me?!

I'm worried, and I think when I was growing up, I just learned to do what I was told without a thought to what I might want to do. Is that why it's so hard?

A: There's no wrong way to do the meditations! There are so many levels built into them, that they will meet you wherever you are. They are a form of hypnosis.

Did you ever hear the story about the sleeping guy in an Atlanta "Manifesting Love" workshop? He fell asleep during the meditation (as so many do -- it's why we developed the Sleep Kit - LOL!). We literally could not wake him up after the meditation, so we just left him to sleep throughout the rest of the workshop. He finally got up at the end -- when we were packing to go -- and acting like nothing was amiss, he left. Four months later, I got an email telling me he was engaged!!

Conclusion: you can do these meditations and fall asleep, you can let your mind wander or you can feel nothing . . . and yet in all of these cases, it has still helped folks manifest. So, don't worry about it. They evoke a magic and grace in your life. You don't have to do things "just so" (a perfectionist tendency) in order for them to work.

About the pattern of just going along as a child. This is exactly how so many I work with break through. Very rarely does anyone ask us when growing up: "What do YOU want?" So some of us just blank out and give up. When we finally ask ourselves what we want, it's such a shut-down place, we have no clue.
But your job is to open up to the fact that you're a grown-up now who can create anything you want -- once you figure out what that is. It's such a fun journey to get there, so just keep exploring your choices.

I'm sending you SO much love and support to realize you get what you want and are allowed to have it. And don't have to get things just right in order to call forth the love you want.

Soulmate level is the place you want to be in your energy & in your expectations to attract the love of your life (and nothing else). Once you open to it, the fastest way to manifest is to keep it at that level.

Many of you who write without instant manifestation have reverted to old ways, where soulmate love is less likely to happen.

Here are tips on how to stay at Soulmate Level:

 1. Stay hopeful. When you first are exposed to my work, you get very positive about love. Unfortunately, friends can naysay you into doubt again. Or your own pattern of negativity may reassert itself. Continue to find tools to stay upbeat about love and you will remain a powerful beacon of light for your One.

2. Continue to release anything that has blocked or delayed love from you. Likely culprits are an old love you’re hanging onto, limiting beliefs about romance or a pattern of self-judgment. If you’re done any of my work, you know how to release. Keep re-releasing until any delay is gone.

3. Don’t look too hard or do back flips for soulmate love. If you are trying to be everywhere to increase your chances for romance or doing soulmate exercises to the point of exhaustion, you are working it to the point of disconnect. Be mellow, do what is fun and remember there are no odds about soulmate love because it is not random chance that brings you together. It is a magnetization that cannot be denied.

4. Quit digging up that plant! For most who do my work, soulmate love shows up out of nowhere. One minute it looks like a dating desert, the next minute you are happily in love. So if you bothered to go by “appearance” and got discouraged because nothing had shown up yet, you wasted your time. In fact, you can shoot yourself in the foot by digging up the plant too early to see if it’s blossoming. In others, making an assessment that it hasn’t happened and concluding it won’t is counterproductive because you get discouraged. Better to see with the eyes of faith, notice how positive you remain and conclude that change is happening on the inner NOW and love is on its way to you.

Usually, when I’ve worked with people privately or in small groups, there is ONE THING that holds them back from getting what they want: a primary issue.

Some know, and have tried to no avail to get rid of it.

Others have no clue, and it is an amazing when the light goes on.

Things go QUICKLY as blocks are released.

Not only have you internalized beliefs that hold you back, there are people close to you who DO NOT want you to succeed (sad to say). And you probably feel that pressure on some level.

Some are scared of risk and humiliation and find it easier just to play it safe.

But every person – including a recent success story who is marrying her soulmate at age 52 – who manifests their desires had to put the fear, the limits to rest in order to be able to realize their dreams.

So, here’s the good news.

It is AMAZING how fast folks get what they want once they identify their issue, address is properly and move beyond it.

They fly into a whirlwind romance with their soulmate.

All of a sudden, money starts pouring in.

It can change just that quickly.

EXERCISE: If you’re not sure what your delay is, spend some time thinking about it. The clue is look for what shrinks you. What makes you feel small or causes you to hesitate? What feels bad?

As you pinpoint what it is, imagine what it would be like to be free of this delay. What would you do? What do others who don’t let this hold you back do?

This begins to pull you forward beyond the hold up.

I look forward to helping you more with this.

So many people ask me: "Do I have to get on-line?" My answer is below.

3 Bad Reasons to Date On-Line

Do you have to on-line date? No, you don't. A minuscule percentage of people meet their soulmate on-line while 80% of those who say they're with their soulmate found them right under their noses. Here are three BAD reasons to put your profile on a matchmaking website.

 Your friends tell you it's mandatory. Your friends don't know what is right for you, and on-line dating is not for everyone.

2. You are desperate & worried you'll never meet someone. Try to wait until you're centered to make such a decision. Nothing good comes out of desperation.

3. You think on-line is the perfect place for your touched-up photo & carefully crafted profile to land the love of your dreams. Please. While almost 90% of people on-line supposedly fudge their profiles with an old photo or misrepresent their age, being honest is a statement to the world that you are enough as is (and the quickest way to find your soulmate on-line).

Two GOOD reasons to on-line date?

1. To tell the Universe that you're ready for love.

2. To see the abundance of available, appealing single people out there.

As millions know, attracting love does not require on-line dating EVER, but if you do so, do it for the right reasons and with the right energy.


Hey there, it’s Kathryn! Hope you’re having good holidays and gearing up for a great 2018

I wanted to give you the same assignment I have given to all of my private clients that can make a WORLD of difference in your life in the coming year

It’s called the 1-2-3 Punch and meant to be done this time of year

I’ve done this since 1998 and have seen everything that I set as a goal happen in my life (I am not kidding!)

And so have thousands of others

So here are the basics:

1. Write down everything that you have achieved in 2017 and all you are grateful for (Thanksgiving is a great reminder each year to do this)

2. Let go this 2018

Release is sheer magic, an act of faith

I have seen so many good things come out of people letting go, something I specialize in helping people accomplish

Write down all you don’t want to take into 2018 – bad experiences, negative habits, old patterns – on toilet paper and flush it down the toilet. Or burn it

3. Write down (don’t just think it) 1 to 4 things you really want to happen in 2018 – your priority goals

Research confirms there is power in writing it down. You can do this either before or after we ring in 2018. Goals written down are 73% more likely to happen

This is a very key step in the creation process – I can show you why it’s important and how to do it the best – we need to flesh this out a bit to have it work well to create

And there is a certain personality type that needs to do this step more than they even realize, something I discuss in the free class

I hope you’ll do this process NOW for an amazing 2018