Q: Kathryn, I have a question:  I have been doing your work for a while, and went on a few dates, met a couple of men but there was no chemistry.  Recently, a man began working at the same place where I work,  I didn't notice him too much at first but then we had a chance to talk and get to know each other.... there is a very strong physical attraction and a lot of chemistry between us.  This is good, because I was beginning to feel like I would not find anyone to feel like this about.

However, there is a problem. He is a lot younger than me, and we are too far apart in age to even consider a relationship. I know he is not my soul mate for this reason, but the feelings I have for him are so strong. I found out his age today, and I feel so heartbroken!

Why did I manifest this strong attraction with someone who is not available for a relationship?

Is this a sign that I am about to manifest my soulmate?  Or is it the universe's way of reminding me what love feels like, so I won't settle for a man I don't feel chemistry with?

I just feel so sad that I have to face another disappointment, and this doesn't happen very often.  I have worked at this job for several years and was never attracted to a coworker before now.

A: The best thing that you said in your question is that “maybe it's a sign that I'm about to find my soulmate” (yes!) and that it reminds you to not settle for anything less than amazing chemistry. That's a good start.

However, your thinking on this is limited, and I would like you to consider a couple of things.

 You said yourself that an attraction like this doesn’t come along very often. Why would you not at least give it a chance?

 Remember love does not know age. I have many a love story on my wall of weddings where the ages don’t sync up but it didn’t stop these soulmates from finding each other.

 Even if this man is just an opener, you might as well have some fun and enjoy him.

 Once you set an intention for love, we have to consider it DONE on a certain level. The rest is just playing it out, and you can afford to relax and have fun with whomever comes your way. You will be guided into the arms of your One, and have to try people on to see who fits. At least give this a chance and see what might be there.

When I first started doing this work, I guided a client through an extreme age difference. For whatever reason, it is easier for guys to accept a much younger woman, but less so when the tables are turned.

In this case, she was 42, he was 28. And she would not even consider him, even as she could not get him out of her head! I told her just what I told you and led her through a dating process that led to them getting married and having a child. The child is now 15, and they are still together and semi-retired. Their lives went so well together that age really never was a serious consideration. They’re so happy, and he has made her younger, so you’d never know there was an age difference at all.

Love simply does not know bounds like age, so try not to think so conventionally, follow your heart and see where it leads.

I’m blessing you for the soulmate love you so deserve! And do tune into my upcoming free class to set a powerful intention for love in 2017 (or maybe before?!)

To hear the audio version, click here

Q: Kathryn, I think I have bad timing.

I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago. And now the holidays are here.

I’m feeling so sorry for myself and am tempted to give in and call him.

Even though he would not talk about a future with me.

I want so much more but I find myself counting down the days until Christmas and New Year are over.

I honestly don’t know if I’m going to make it through. I’m crying every day and just need something. Can you help?

A: I’m so sorry you are suffering but break-ups don’t always conveniently fall between March and October, like they ought to!

So, let me help you make it easier for yourself and even use this time to sow the seeds for your Real love, your soulmate.

And let me ask you a question:

If I had a crystal ball and could tell you, that love was on its way – that you would meet someone more dazzling than you’ve ever been with who loves you like crazy and after this, they would never leave your side and you would have years and years of amazing holidays together – would that help?

Because we can make that happen!

And we can even start on it now!

And the hope for that -- the faith that it’s coming – can carry you through the holidays.

Rest assured you WILL get the love you want.

And you’re better off free now if it wasn’t going to work with your b.f.

So here are some tips to get you through this time and even USE IT to open up to the real love of your life

 The first thing to do is to do some good releasing work. Let go! The attachment is what makes the pain so much worse. Then, we can get busy with the replace step.

 Do plan some things to do. Reach out to friends and supportive family so you’re not home moping the whole time.

 Find some good entertainment – good movies or books to pile up and distract yourself.

 Give yourself a good gift – maybe a massage or something you’ve wanted. Self-care & indulgence are especially good right now.

 And buy a gift or card for your soulmate that you will give to him at a special time (I gave Jon the one I’d bought on our wedding day).

 Finally just try to hang on till it’s over. It’s really only about a week to grin and bear it, and then the holidays are DONE.

 Use the holidays to work on your love life. It’s a great time of seeing people at events. So many more folks are out & about, seeking to connect, and I’ve had more than romance happen for a client during this time.

You never know! You could meet someone over the holidays, too.

But whether it’s now or soon, your love life will be good. You will find your soulmate.

This is for SURE!

I’m blessing you for the soulmate love you so deserve! And do tune into my upcoming free class to set a powerful intention for love in 2017.

If you’re despairing at being single over the holidays, take heart!

It is very common for people to meet their soulmate somewhere along the year end festivities.

Perhaps, it is the intensified longing that brings love or the many parties or reaching out that is done during the season.

But if you undertake the upcoming days with the right attitude, you may be surprised at what happens.

Some tips on making holiday magic happen:

1. Put connection first & foremost. Do everything you can to bring enjoyment to your holidays. This puts you in a magnetic frame of mind & you’ll have fun even if love doesn’t come along

2. Plan well. Keep your energy positive by setting up some treats for yourself such as spending time with friends, a good novel or even avoiding things that bring you down. Learning to take care of your own happiness is key to attracting love, even if the activity doesn’t seem directly related to meeting someone

3. Appreciate the Season’s Gifts. Maybe time with family brings up your stuff (& by all means, minimize it if you need to or schedule breaks from them), but there are many things about the holidays to appreciate. Time off from work. Festive occasions. Gifts to unwrap and to give. Revel in the break from routine in any way you can.

I have no doubt that many will be emailing me with their delightful holiday love stories, and I hope YOU'RE one of them.

 Holiday Heartbreak

Going through the holidays shortly after a divorce, a breakup, heartbreak or even a death can cast a pall on them. But you can make the best of the time and even find comfort in it. And if you use the above advice to find new love, you wouldn’t be the first to do so even as you grieve.

 Don’t expect life to be normal. You won’t be up to snuff, but you can choose a focus to minimize pain.

 Being with others and seeking connection with friends, family and meeting new people can help you to quit dwelling on the past.

 It is certainly a time for self-indulgence. You’ve never had a better excuse to opt out of things you don’t enjoy or to stay home all day in your jammies watching reality TV marathons.

 But don’t indulge in a pity party. Do a release and then replace it with hope for your future and some steps in that direction. Feeding the attachment by wallowing in it will put you through needless misery.
It’s a great time to prepare for an amazing new year creating your dreams coming true!

To hear the audio version, please click here

Q: Hi Kathryn,

I have been reading your books for about a year and a half now.

I've attracted so many guys that were wrong for me. I keep chugging along trying to be positive but it's getting to the point that I'm tired and really feel like giving up.

I'm clear on who I am and what I want. Most of the guys that I'm attracted to online most of them don't seem to respond and the ones who do turn out to be flakes and disappear soon. They all look good on paper so I'm not sure what to make of this situation.

A few weeks ago I met this guy who came on very strong and then little by little I understood that he has nothing I'm looking for. He was literally broke, emotionally unstable and when I parted ways with him when I saw that he's a poor match he was verbally abusive. So I dived a serious bullet.

I mean I get that none of these guys are really the one.

I'm in a great place, where I feel like my life is stable, I have great friends, good job, financially stable, and I really love my life. So everything is going great and I can be okay without a partner but I so wish I had the right person; that soulmate connection.

I get so many emails etc from a lot of guys I have no interest in. I'm now even going out with them even if I don't feel an attraction just to make sure I'm not passing up on anything and been too shallow.

Do I just stop looking for the one and just try to make it work with one of these people?  I mean they are okay, but I just don't feel that spark or special connection?

How do I handle this situation?


A: First off, sounds like you’re doing a good work, and on your way to love. You know what you want and you have a well-balanced life. Congratulations!

Secondly, my answer is NO!

No, you should not make it work with one of these people. At all!

Someone who is flaky and not showing up for you is not good enough for you.

And a relationship with someone who you’re not 100% sure is your soulmate can never last.

I know it can be tiring, but you have to carry on.

Your guy – who never feels even remotely like settling – is just around the corner.

So keep going!

1. It would be great to pick up the pace. Things tend to go slowly unless you try anything different, which I highly recommend doing. Sometimes books are not enough and it’s worth going a bit deeper into attracting.

2. This time of the year is an amazing time to sow the seeds for FAST change.

 Not only do you have more down time to work on some things,

 But there’s a magical window at the end of the year to really uplevel.

3. We get stuck by our setpoint. Your default seems to have been settling and also making this too hard when it really doesn’t have to be.

When we try to change that setpoint, all kinds of resistance comes up. Truly upleveling involves being willing to slog through the limits and blowing away that setpoint, leaving it far behind.

Last year one woman who started my 30 Day Soulmate Bootcamp at Halloween after 10 holidays alone (and feeling pretty down) met a man at a pre-Thanksgiving party. He shocked her by asking if she could come with him to Thanksgiving at a friend’s the very next day. They really hit it off. She shocked herself by saying “yes” she’d join him after her family’s celebration.

By Christmas, they were in a committed relationship and he whisked her off to a romantic Caribbean resort on December 26, 2015. All of those bad, lonely holidays during which she feared she would never find love evaporated with the enchanting romance that began to unfold. This year, they are already married and she will never spend another Christmas alone.

This student deliberately made a choice to try something different and I hope you will, too.

Things can happen very fast when you take steps to open to the right one and refuse to settle.

On that note, our Holiday Sale is coming up and that very program that worked for our customer  and so many other “holdouts” (those who are not finding love easily) – the 30 Day Soulmate Bootcamp -- will be on huge discount. So look for it, and you very well may be next!

Q: I have a friend who -- annoyingly -- always has a boyfriend. The minute one relationship ends, she finds another boyfriend right away. Why is it so easy for her and so hard for me? I haven’t even dated anyone in over a year. Why her and not me?!

A: Great question, and one I often get asked. Yes, your friend has something you don’t, but it’s not what you think. And just to reassure you, I often have folks in a similar position pass their friend by finding love and getting married while the friend is still going through boyfriend after boyfriend. It’s not a competition, but if it were, you don’t LOSE.

What your friend has that you don’t is the following:

a) A good template for having a boyfriend. She’s used to it, so it’s easier to manifest again. I’ll bet you have some areas in your life that are easy for you, too.

b) Faith that she gets love, that someone out there will be right for her and that she’s lovable.

If you lack the above, then it’s interfering with your ability to manifest love. But the good news is that there are ways to develop these things and manifest so easily you can’t believe it.

 A similar feeling of being left out can arise if you feel like someone else got chosen over you. If that happens, it's not rejection at all.

 Remember there's no rejection, only the wrong fit.

 Instead, it just means that the person who did not choose you is not your One.

 But if you can carry on, you'll find that one who can never see past you and is even hotter than the "one that got away."

 Every now & again, I get this weird phenomenon where someone gets a crush on the wrong person, who never is quite mutual in the feelings, and later goes on to meet another person who is almost an exact replica of their crush but usually even hotter and more right for them because it's their true soulmate.

 And of course in the latter case, the feelings are entirely mutual and the couple go on into a life together.

 I call this the Mistaken Identity Soulmate Situation - LOL!

I affirm that you are NEXT and don't have to wait any longer to be the one chosen and in a relationship even better than some of your serial monogamist friends because it lasts for a lifetime.

Q: Kathryn, my boyfriend and I recently broke up, and he almost immediately got together with someone else. His new girlfriend seems so perfect: 20 pounds lighter than me, younger and very beautiful. He seems so happy, and I just don’t get it.

He was not that nice when we broke up. How can someone who acted so badly get this happiness, and yet I’m still alone. It just doesn’t seem fair, and I have to admit I obsess about this far too much.

I know you’ll tell me to do more releasing but why did he bounce back so quickly and get so much when I’m a good person who took so much crap from him and I’m the one suffering here?

Can you help me understand this?

A: This is a great question, and I’m so happy you wrote me.

What you’re talking about is something that so many do.

They cause themselves untold pain for no good reason.

Why? Consider this:

 It’s pretty normal to go through a period of reckoning regarding your ex after a break-up.

 And far too often, I hear someone like you obsessing over how happy your ex gets to be while you suffer.

 THE SAD TRUTH: You don’t really know how well your ex is doing or not doing because you can’t get inside his head.

 THE SADISTIC TRUTH: If you GOT OUT A BAT and started beating yourself, it would probably be less painful than what you are doing to yourself in your head.

 I know that sounds dramatic but it’s excruciating to go over and over this telling yourself how pitiful you are and how gloriously happy he is.

 Your ex dragged his problems with him. So it’s likely he’s not as happy as you think. Anyone that disconnected to behave in that way is not in a good enough place to be super happy – at least not for long.

So what can we do with this to get you where YOU’RE the happy one?

1. Every time you start obsessing over your ex again, catch yourself.

2. Remind yourself that you don’t know how he is, and you will not get out that bat and start beating yourself with thoughts that are hurtful to you.

3. Then, turn your thoughts to something more productive. Anything that will make you feel better – like dreaming of a soulmate that is so much better than he was to you.

4. Here’s another truth: you have no idea how long your ex will last with this new woman, and you will pass him as you find your One, someone who is head & shoulders above what you have had so far.

5. If we can keep your eyes on where you want to go rather than pulling out that bat, we can quickly magnetize the love of your life, and you’ll be far too happy in his arms to give another thought to your ex beyond thanking God it didn’t work out with him

If we can shift this, your soulmate will come to you and it will be a done deal.

I’m blessing you for the soulmate you so deserve. Let’s put away the bat and get on toward the happy life awaiting you as you let go.