If you’re despairing at being single over the holidays, take heart! It is very common for people to meet their soulmate somewhere along the year end festivities. Perhaps it’s the intensified longing that brings love or the many parties or reaching out that is done during the season. But if you undertake the upcoming days with the right attitude, you may be surprised at what happens. Some tips on making holiday magic happen:

1. Put connection first and foremost. Do everything you can to bring enjoyment to your holidays. This puts you in a magnetic frame of mind & you’ll have fun even if love doesn’t come along.

2. Plan well. Keep your energy positive by setting up some treats for yourself such as spending time with friends, a good novel or even avoiding things that bring you down. Learning to take care of your own happiness is key to attracting love, even if the activity doesn’t seem directly related to meeting someone.

3. Appreciate the Season’s Gifts. Maybe time with family brings up your stuff (& by all means, minimize it if you need to or schedule breaks from them), but there are many things about the holidays to appreciate. Time off from work. Festive occasions. Gifts to unwrap and to give. Revel in the break from routine in any way you can.

I have no doubt that many will be emailing me with their delightful holiday love stories, and I hope YOU’RE one of them!

Holiday Heartbreak

Going through the holidays shortly after a divorce, a breakup, heartbreak or even a death can cast a pall on them. But you can make the best of the time and even find comfort in it. And if you use the above advice to find new love, you wouldn’t be the first to do so even as you grieve.

• Don’t expect life to be normal. You won’t be up to snuff, but you can choose a focus to minimize pain.

• Being with others and seeking connection with friends, family and meeting new people can help you to quit dwelling on the past.

• It is certainly a time for self-indulgence. You’ve never had a better excuse to opt out of things you don’t enjoy or to stay home all day in your jammies watching reality t.v. marathons.

• But don’t indulge in a pity party. Do a release and then replace it with hope for your future and some steps in that direction. Feeding the attachment by wallowing in it will put you through needless misery. 

Our Releasing a Person CD, available as a download immediately or as a hard copy CD contains the magical process of release that Kathryn is known for as well as tools for staying released and moving on with your life. Learn more about it here.


love and support,
Kathryn

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December 27, 2010

Happy holidays! I hope you're having GREAT ones. We've been at a Palm Springs resort with Jon's family and 3 out of 4 of our boys. Swimming has been great and we actually rode a CAMEL at the Living Desert.

I'm super excited about where we will spend winter, a SECRET we'll reveal later. But here's a hint: it's tropical. Yes, our Portable Lifestyle continues.

The Eel

Some of the worst cases of attachment I've seen come from people who got hooked by THE EEL.

Definition of The Eel: someone who seems in your grasp, but then slithers away just when you thought it was going somewhere, only to reappear again as you give up hope.

This is akin to the mouse-cheese experiment I talk about in my Releasing a Person CD. The mouse would hurt itself when sporadically offered the cheese, whereas both the mouse who regularly got cheese and who never got cheese accepted the situation calmly.

If you are being distracted by an eel, I invite you to adopt my rule concerning eels. Don't touch! Eels seem to somehow NEED to keep you dangling, and it can be terribly exciting playing this game, but it doesn’t produce a soulmate relationship.

My Advice: recognize when you're swimming after an eel and change course. Yes, letting go of the hope will hurt, but every time someone swims in a different direction while doing my work, they end up finding their soulmate quickly. If you keep your eye on the love ahead waiting for you, it will make the release much easier.

If you are in doubt about whether it can work out or not (and in most cases, you are simply in denial), I suggest this technique for seeing if this relationship is salvageable.

• When the suspected eel lets you down -- disappears, doesn’t call when (s)he says, suddenly wants to cool things down -- give him or her notice. You can do this playfully, so it doesn’t become heavy, but draw a boundary here. “Flakes are just not my favorite cereal, if you get my drift. I’m liable to brunch elsewhere if it gets too flaky around here.” This takes back your power, while keeping it light.

• Keep track with a three strike maximum limit. If eel-like behavior shows up three times, this is a trend. It’s too much to ignore. Unless you want to continue in a frustrating, uphill battle to make this person become reliable, I would bail at this point.

• Do some release work, and remind yourself that your soulmate will leave no doubt that they want to be with you and they will be even hotter to you than the eel has been.

Love & support,
Kathryn

If you are ready for love and need to ditch an old dating pattern, now is a perfect time to set that intention.

If you have had a bad dating pattern – like going for unavailable or hurtful people, having chemistry with those who are bad for you or being closed due to past hurt – you are not alone. I have worked with thousands of people with similar patterns, and it has been gratifying to watch them dissolve unproductive patterns to date for their soulmate.

There is a way to shift your preferences and get rid of sabotaging dating habits once & for all.

1. See reality and know you can do SO much better. If someone isn’t completely in to you, admit it. If someone pulls you down or creates misery for you, admit it. No longer try to romanticize something that is undeserving of you and vow to wait for better: a mutual, supportive love.

2. See yourself better. As you realize how special and sacred you really are, you will no longer allow anything unworthy of you. You will have better boundaries, not accept someone who treats you casually or worse, puts you down. You will no longer get hooked into an “eel” or waste time with someone who is not The One, keeping yourself free & available for your soulmate.

3. Imagine yourself with soulmate love. The key to moving beyond your past, what you have known so far, and into true love is to make where you are going more real than where you are now. Fantasize about what you want and keep it in mind so you won’t be tempted to settle.

As you shift, the people you experience chemistry with will change. And the reality of the love you GET will outshine even the richest fantasy you’ve had about someone from your past. (This is why people who do my work describe constant “pinch me” moments as they manifest soulmate love!) Keep your eye on the prize and it will materialize much sooner than if you continue to spin your wheels.


love,
Kathryn

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9/30/10

Hi! Vacationing AFTER Labor Day is the best. It’s peaceful and uncrowded. We are still in Palm Springs soaking up the sun, taking a breath after a busy summer and deciding our next moves in life. Triple digit temps are forcing us to have what we call "three bathing suit days:" hours in the pools & lazy river. Hot weather is not so bad when you can just throw on a bikini and go swim.

Fall has arrived and you can probably feel change in the air (well, except that summer has FINALLY just arrived in SoCal - LOL!) School has started, we’re all getting back to work and it’s a chance for a fresh start.

The WAY you date is the single biggest factor between you and your soulmate.

Dating badly can keep you in limbo – with no soulmate and all kinds of drama, rejection, frustration and heartbreak.

Not dating at all usually means you’ve shut down out of fear of the process. That’s understandable if you’ve dated like most people do: a pretty excruciating ordeal.

There is a very simple way to date effectively for your soulmate & nothing less. It is a dating method that tens of thousands of people have learned from me to produce the love of their lives in record time. This kind of dating is easy & fun and QUICKLY leads to your One.

Below I outline 5 Drastic Dating Mistakes:

 
1. Putting too much pressure on one date. If you build your hopes with each date, it can get in the way of your enjoyment of the person, create awkward exchanges and crush your hopes when it doesn’t work out. There is a different way of dating that is even-keeled, long-sighted and can actually make it fun.

2. Rejection Thinking If you look hard for rejection and take a blow each time it doesn’t work out, thinking that you’ve been “dumped,” then you are interpreting badly. There is no rejection, only the wrong fit. Your soulmate will be better than anyone who supposedly rejected you. In the meantime, you are putting yourself through needless drama for no reason.

3. Not Using Your “Power of Veto” Dating is a process of selection, and every single person knows this. You don’t need to feel guilty if there’s no chemistry for you. And you don’t need to settle for someone unavailable, unfaithful or just not right. Saying “no” is the first step to what you want.

4. Making It a Numbers Game Many think if they kiss 100 frogs, they’ll find their prince. They go through the motions to up their odds for love. The truth is that there are no odds. When you date spiritually, there is no random chance. There is only dating for your soulmate, a technique that eradicates dating drudgery completely and effectively pulls your One to you quickly.

5. Elevation Most who do my work end up with someone so hot to them that their biggest issue is learning it’s not too good to be true, accepting their good. There is a tendency to put people you find attractive on a pedestal and think they are out of your league. When you do this in dating, you count out the people most likely to be your soulmate. You need to learn an egalitarian method of dating, in which you see yourself as good enough for anyone (true).



Love & support, Kathryn

 Soulmate level is the place you want to be in your energy & in your expectations to attract the love of your life (and nothing else). Once you open to it, the fastest way to manifest is to keep it at that level. Many of you who write without instant manifestation have reverted to old ways, where soulmate love is less likely to happen.

Here are tips on how to stay at Soulmate Level:

 1. Stay hopeful. When you first are exposed to my work, you get very positive about love. Unfortunately, friends can naysay you into doubt again. Or your own pattern of negativity may reassert itself. Continue to find tools to stay upbeat about love and you will remain a powerful beacon of light for your One.

2. Continue to release anything that has blocked or delayed love from you. Likely culprits are an old love you’re hanging onto, limiting beliefs about romance or a pattern of self-judgment. If you’re done any of my work, you know how to release. Keep re-releasing until any delay is gone.

3. Don’t look too hard or do back flips for soulmate love. If you are trying to be everywhere to increase your chances for romance or doing soulmate exercises to the point of exhaustion, you are working it to the point of disconnect. Be mellow, do what is fun and remember there are no odds about soulmate love because it is not random chance that brings you together. It is a magnetization that cannot be denied.

4. Quit digging up that plant! For most who do my work, soulmate love shows up out of nowhere. One minute it looks like a dating desert, the next minute you are happily in love. So if you bothered to go by “appearance” and got discouraged because nothing had shown up yet, you wasted your time. In fact, you can shoot yourself in the foot by digging up the plant too early to see if it’s blossoming. In others, making an assessment that it hasn’t happened and concluding it won’t is counterproductive because you get discouraged. Better to see with the eyes of faith, notice how positive you remain and conclude that change is happening on the inner NOW and love is on its way to you.

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Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

Hi! I’m just about to celebrate a major birthday. Family are flying in each day and we are taking the party to Palm Springs this weekend. But I wanted to say “hi” and give a shoutout to the many of you who just discovered my work at Agape’s bursting-at-the-seams workshop last Friday (150 people showed up).

Now that you’re open to soulmate love, read on to find out how to keep it at that level.

 Summer is heating up, and I bless you for a hot love life!

 love & support,

 Kathryn

Friday, June 11th, 2010

  Better use for a Great Wall of China cannon 

It has been such a whirlwind lately that I've just about lost my voice, so forgive me for not posting sooner. After seeing Tears for Fears in Manila & visiting the Great Wall of China en route to the States, we did a 3 week tour of the South, seeing family & friends in Georgia, S. & N. Carolina, I did my FIRST Teacher Training EVER in San Diego & now, we're home in LA for the summer. Boy, do I need a breather!

I hope to see many of you in my LIVE workshops this summer in LA, including the upcoming Releasing Intensive on Saturday, June 26th.

People often ask me about personal ads as though getting it right is the Holy Grail. Read on to find out my response.

I Get Tired Just Reading Your Personal Ad


I read the funniest blog the other day, complaining about the high octane personal ads that sound exhausting. The writer just wanted to go lie down.

This brings to mind a false assumption many believe about dating. Compatibility is a fake idea. Seriously! Studies show over & over that what people say they want and what they actually want are two different things. There is more of a chemistry/soul recognition happening than someone who looks good on paper in each instance.

So, take the pressure off of getting your personal ad perfect or ticking off a list of qualities with each prospective partner. Better to just be in a good mood while writing your ad and abandon loading it up with all your activities.

And as far as dating goes, look for an initial connection. It doesn’t have to be complete excitement at first, because for some chemistry opens up gradually. But you have to have some attraction, which is an indicator there may be something there.

Free Teleseminar

On Monday, June 14th, I'm doing a rare, free teleseminar called LETTING GO: A Primer on Release. It's a great way to start out the summer -- getting released so you can dive fully into summer fun. To find out more & sign up (hundreds signed up within the first two hours!), follow this link: http://www.kathrynalice.com/events.htm#1350

Talk to you soon, and I hope to see you while I'm in the U.S. this summer!

lots of love,
Kathryn

PS: The Releasing Intensive is projected to sell out next week due to limited attendance. If you have major release issues or find yourself in a lot of pain, go ahead & reserve your spot NOW here:

http://www.kathrynalice.com/events#1400

After working with tens of thousands of people for years on dating issues, I have no doubt what the most difficult aspect of dating is. It is so painful for some that they eschew dating altogether even if it means they won’t find love.

THE ANSWER: The not knowing as you go through the process. Yes, being vulnerable, a requirement for love, and not being able to foresee how love will show up drives people mad. And for no good reason!

How to get over this serious difficulty? Change your thinking about it.

1. Realize it’s exhilarating. Part of the excitement of falling in love is the unpredictability and the anticipation. No one would skip this part when they finally meet their One.

2. Deepen your faith. Remind yourself that love is a done deal for you and will show up in the perfect way (even if your love life looks DOA right now). It will make this process less maddening. You do get love for sure – remember that!

3. Remember: that you can’t skip the process but the end result is worth it. 99% of those I work with would probably skip dating if they could and just go get married (seriously). But of course, this isn't possible. Even if the next person you date is your soulmate (& by all means, affirm this if it’s what you want), you still have to undergo the getting-to-know-you phase, otherwise known as dating.

I bless you for finding an easy way to date – the payoff is worth it!

Talk to you soon!

love,
Kathryn

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Wednesday, April 14th, 2010

Hong Kong (Victoria) Harbour

Hi! We are back from Hong Kong! As promised, I’m posting some photos here. It was an amazing trip, though a bit chilly (we bought jackets!). Jon and I are scooting to explore 4 other Philippines islands before we leave, and we all are dropping by Beijing on our way back to the U.S.

 

Julian and Me, Hong Kong Doubledecker

Kids Stuff! Ocean Park, Hong Kong

So many people ask me: "Do I have to get on-line?" My answer is below.

3 Bad Reasons to Date On-Line

Do you have to on-line date? No, you don't. A minuscule percentage of people meet their soulmate on-line while 80% of those who say they're with their soulmate found them right under their noses. Here are three BAD reasons to put your profile on a matchmaking website.

1. Your friends tell you it's mandatory. Your friends don't know what is right for you, and on-line dating is not for everyone.

2. You are desperate & worried you'll never meet someone. Try to wait until you're centered to make such a decision. Nothing good comes out of desperation.

3. You think on-line is the perfect place for your touched-up photo & carefully crafted profile to land the love of your dreams. Please. While almost 90% of people on-line supposedly fudge their profiles with an old photo or misrepresent their age, being honest is a statement to the world that you are enough as is (and the quickest way to find your soulmate on-line).

Two GOOD reasons to on-line date?

1. To tell the Universe that you're ready for love.

2. To see the abundance of available, appealing single people out there.

As millions know, attracting love does not require on-line dating EVER, but if you do so, do it for the right reasons and with the right energy.


love,
Kathryn

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March 23, 2010

At Our Boracay Villa

We are heading to Hong Kong for Spring Break and are unbelievably excited about it. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to go there, and our children have been asking to go to Hong Kong Disney for three years.

We're taking our nanny, who has never flown before. She'll give us a chance to do some grownup things while she takes the children and is accompanying us on all of the tours and fun. She's excited, too!

Are you single and kind of dreading Valentine's Day? You are not alone. I have tons of emails every year from people in your same boat so take comfort from that. I'd like to help by reminding you of the following:

1. Valentine's Day was created by a chocolate company! It is a manufactured holiday and while, yes, it's fun to send love reminders to people, it is JUST ANOTHER DAY. When you are in love, you celebrate regularly and don't need a special day to remind you. And when you're single, you may think, "bah, humbug!" and that's just fine.

2. The majority of Valentines and even flowers go out to non-sweethearts. More flowers and remembrances are sent and received by students, teachers and family members than by romantic partners. So claim this holiday for YOU whether you've met a romantic soulmate or not. And remember that there are nonromantic soulmates such as pets, parents, friends, children and even siblings so tap into that love energy which connects you to the same unconditional love that you will feel when you come together with your One.

3. Make a point to send out love to the soulmate you haven't met yet. Buy them a card to give them later or spend a few moments thinking of them and sending a message to them on the inner.

4. Every one of us has been the only office worker NOT to receive flowers on an occasion. This day is in NO way a competition to see if you're loved or not. Of COURSE you are! So remove your ego from being in such a competition and if anyone wants to rub it in, feel bad for them that they would need to resort to such a low vibe.

5. When you are with your One, it will make up for EVERY bad Valentine's day you ever had. If this one isn't that great, it will get healed in the future, I promise!

Have a good one, and I bless you for love beyond your wildest dreams!

love,
Kathryn

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Cruising around Boracay while our eldest, Calvin, visited in January

Feb 11, 2010

It has been a WHIRLWIND lately and sorry I haven't written. We had the BEST time in my soldout Deliberate Creation Telecourse, and I've just returned to Boracay from Australia, where I taught a few packed workshops and did some interviews.

When it is SO snowy in the U.S., I wish you all could don your bikinis and join us here in the sun.

It is almost Valentine's Day and so of course, I'm doing lots of media and want to remind you that even if you're single it can be an enjoyable day.

So, here's my popular video on the subject: