If you’re despairing at being single over the holidays, take heart! It is very common for people to meet their soulmate somewhere along the year end festivities. Perhaps it’s the intensified longing that brings love or the many parties or reaching out that is done during the season. But if you undertake the upcoming days with the right attitude, you may be surprised at what happens. Some tips on making holiday magic happen:

1. Put connection first and foremost. Do everything you can to bring enjoyment to your holidays. This puts you in a magnetic frame of mind & you’ll have fun even if love doesn’t come along.

2. Plan well. Keep your energy positive by setting up some treats for yourself such as spending time with friends, a good novel or even avoiding things that bring you down. Learning to take care of your own happiness is key to attracting love, even if the activity doesn’t seem directly related to meeting someone.

3. Appreciate the Season’s Gifts. Maybe time with family brings up your stuff (& by all means, minimize it if you need to or schedule breaks from them), but there are many things about the holidays to appreciate. Time off from work. Festive occasions. Gifts to unwrap and to give. Revel in the break from routine in any way you can.

I have no doubt that many will be emailing me with their delightful holiday love stories, and I hope YOU’RE one of them!

Holiday Heartbreak

Going through the holidays shortly after a divorce, a breakup, heartbreak or even a death can cast a pall on them. But you can make the best of the time and even find comfort in it. And if you use the above advice to find new love, you wouldn’t be the first to do so even as you grieve.

• Don’t expect life to be normal. You won’t be up to snuff, but you can choose a focus to minimize pain.

• Being with others and seeking connection with friends, family and meeting new people can help you to quit dwelling on the past.

• It is certainly a time for self-indulgence. You’ve never had a better excuse to opt out of things you don’t enjoy or to stay home all day in your jammies watching reality t.v. marathons.

• But don’t indulge in a pity party. Do a release and then replace it with hope for your future and some steps in that direction. Feeding the attachment by wallowing in it will put you through needless misery. 

Our Releasing a Person CD, available as a download immediately or as a hard copy CD contains the magical process of release that Kathryn is known for as well as tools for staying released and moving on with your life. Learn more about it here.


love and support,
Kathryn

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December 27, 2010

Happy holidays! I hope you're having GREAT ones. We've been at a Palm Springs resort with Jon's family and 3 out of 4 of our boys. Swimming has been great and we actually rode a CAMEL at the Living Desert.

I'm super excited about where we will spend winter, a SECRET we'll reveal later. But here's a hint: it's tropical. Yes, our Portable Lifestyle continues.

The Eel

Some of the worst cases of attachment I've seen come from people who got hooked by THE EEL.

Definition of The Eel: someone who seems in your grasp, but then slithers away just when you thought it was going somewhere, only to reappear again as you give up hope.

This is akin to the mouse-cheese experiment I talk about in my Releasing a Person CD. The mouse would hurt itself when sporadically offered the cheese, whereas both the mouse who regularly got cheese and who never got cheese accepted the situation calmly.

If you are being distracted by an eel, I invite you to adopt my rule concerning eels. Don't touch! Eels seem to somehow NEED to keep you dangling, and it can be terribly exciting playing this game, but it doesn’t produce a soulmate relationship.

My Advice: recognize when you're swimming after an eel and change course. Yes, letting go of the hope will hurt, but every time someone swims in a different direction while doing my work, they end up finding their soulmate quickly. If you keep your eye on the love ahead waiting for you, it will make the release much easier.

If you are in doubt about whether it can work out or not (and in most cases, you are simply in denial), I suggest this technique for seeing if this relationship is salvageable.

• When the suspected eel lets you down -- disappears, doesn’t call when (s)he says, suddenly wants to cool things down -- give him or her notice. You can do this playfully, so it doesn’t become heavy, but draw a boundary here. “Flakes are just not my favorite cereal, if you get my drift. I’m liable to brunch elsewhere if it gets too flaky around here.” This takes back your power, while keeping it light.

• Keep track with a three strike maximum limit. If eel-like behavior shows up three times, this is a trend. It’s too much to ignore. Unless you want to continue in a frustrating, uphill battle to make this person become reliable, I would bail at this point.

• Do some release work, and remind yourself that your soulmate will leave no doubt that they want to be with you and they will be even hotter to you than the eel has been.

Love & support,
Kathryn