[to hear an audio version of this Q & A, click here: http://iTeleseminar.com/74619435]

Q: Kathryn, I've been doing your "Date for Your Soulmate" Course and it's working! I'm starting to connect with more hot men, but I've hit a snag.

Part of the course talks about flirting, and I just cannot do it. I was raised to believe that women who flirt are sluts, and it just feels wrong. I'll feel like a bad person, a hussy, and I can't do it. Even if I try as little as a wink, I freeze up.

A proper woman doesn't act that way, and I need to ask you if I really have to flirt to find love. I don't want to impede my progress. But this is beyond what I can deal with.

A: Wow, that's a lot, and I'm so very glad that you wrote about this flirting block, because we need to address it. Here are a few points to help you out:

1. I adore the term slut-shaming because it negates the notion that women are either madonnas or whores. There is nothing wrong with having a sexual side and using it when you're connecting. We all have many complicated sides, and it's okay to be sexual. To judge women (and not men -- such a double standard!) for being too flirty is just wrong and can inhibit a woman's ability to be who she is.



2. The definition of flirting is a mild sexual energy in communicating. It's a terrific aid to turning a person's head who you are interested in.

3. Flirting ensures you won't be friend-zoned. It also opens up your 2nd chakra. If you've had a long, dry spell, you may in danger of shutting down, and this can prevent love from coming along.

4. Even if you don't want to flirt with anyone else, you definitely want to be flirting with your soulmate.

5. It helps to practice flirting to be in practice when a hot person (most likely to be your soulmate) comes along.

6. Everyone -- even the shyest amongst us -- has a flirting style. It varies wildly, as you are seeing in the course where I talk about all the styles and how to find yours.

I hope this explanation can help flirting seem less scary or prohibitive for you.


The course you're doing has helped so many people open to love! If  you're going to do it, don't skip parts of it. The process can't work as well.

I bless you for getting over this hump. It will open a whole new world to you.

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[To hear an audio version of this blog, click here:
http://events.instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=73384068]

You all are always asking me to write more about THE EEL -- here's a question about it to shed some more light on the topic.

Q: Kathryn, I think I'm involved with an eel -- as you describe it -- and it's worrying me.

"Joe" and I have been dancing around for about four years. He is super charming and comes on strong. Only to pull away the minute after we talk about getting serious.



I almost feel obsessed with him and no one holds a candle to him, in my opinion.

Should I try to really pin him down and find out? Or should I just hope that the light will come on, he'll realize I'm the One and finally be willing to get serious with me. I feel he's worth the wait.

A: It does sound like an eel situation, I'm afraid to say:

Definition of The Eel: someone who seems in your grasp, but then slithers away just when you thought it was going somewhere, only to reappear again as you give up hope.

Often, the eel is charming and knows how to reel you in just enough that you can't let go.

And just when you're almost over them, they reel you in again.

They can sense when you're finally letting go, which is part of that phenomena of the release work I do.

After four years of your life, he should know if you are the One. That's enough time of your life spent on him.

I'd try one more time and tell him it's now or never. And if he again pulls away, then this time, do anything you can to rid yourself of this attachment/obsession.

Remind yourself of how much happier you'll be when you're in love with somone who can't wait to get a commitment from you.

Your soulmate will be hotter than the eel. And much less frustrating.

The truth is that I rarely meet someone who is dancing with an eel and is actually happy.

For many, dancing with an eel is a great way to remain single. Keeping yourself tied up with someone unavailable ensures you remain unavailable yourself.

I want more for you, and believe me when I say, there's much, much better for you ahead if you can just let go of this frustrating situation.

I'm sending you love & support for getting clarity and moving on.

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