Here's a great question someone sent me -- one I hear all too often.

[If you'd rather hear this email, click on this link to hear the audio version.]

Q: Kathryn, I think I'm going to be sick if another person says to me: "Why is someone like you still single?"

They think it's a compliment but it hits me in the gut.

Every insecurity I have that something is deeply wrong with me comes up. . . that even though I look normal and "should" have found love by now, I'm just left out of love.

How can I handle this better? It's super painful.

A: I'm sorry you're experiencing this, but there's an easy way to handle it.

First, let's get it straight that nothing is wrong with you. You're just blocked in some way from love.

You're not the only one. I'd say 95% of the folks who do my work and then find love feared that somehow they were left out. But they weren't, as they quickly discovered.

Secondly, let us prepave for a better experience. You're taking this too hard because it hits your buttons. Come up with a breezy reply to dismiss the comment and change the subject so this moment can pass and not be so rough on you.

"I've been concentrating on my career, so I'm not worrying about it right now. My guy will come when the time is right."

Remember that the questioner is trying to compliment you, probably not realizing it's a bit backhanded.

Let me tell you a story. An attractive woman came to me recently with this same issue.

No one could understand why she was still single and would drop comments like this to her all of the time. Each question hit her like a knife in the gut and intensified her feeling that she was left out of love.

Until I got hold of her :)

We worked on a breezy reply to stop this reaction on her part and skirt past the question quickly.

The genius reply we devised was flirtatiously responding: "And who wants to know?!" when someone asked her why a girl like her would still be single. She simply would not open up the subject of her love life to some wellmeaning acquaintance.

Keeping your love life to yourself is a great idea since when you're single and opening to love, you can be vulnerable. It should be a private.

Making this small tweak helped my client immensely. Her kryptonite was neutralized.

We adopted this same light attitude toward love in general, and I worked with her to start walking in her sexy magnetism that caused people to ask her that question to begin with.

It changed everything for her. She met a guy within a few weeks under an awning when a rainstorm suddenly began. They got to laughing and talking about the crazy storm, one thing led to another, and they ended up going for a bite to eat.

One thing led to another, and they have not been apart since. Their wedding is this September.

Is this a coincidence? Of course not! She had to get rid of her kryptonite and walk in her own strength.

This can be a tricky process to master, but it never fails to produce love.

I hope that you'll come up with your own breezy reply and get on with finding love.