Q: Kathryn, a friend recently introduced me to your lovely work, and it’s giving me hope for the first time in a long while

I’m a stressed-out, straight single mom just like you once were

And okay, I’m good at seeing the humor in things. So . . . the soulmate I came up as being perfect for me is {drumroll} . . . .

A gay millionaire in construction

LOL! Isn’t that horrible?! One of my best friends is gay, and honestly, he treats me the way I want my soulmate to.

I just want a dude to come fuss over me, be tidy, pay the bills and fix things up around the house.

I remember your story one time about the older

woman you helped who met a guy who showed up every weekend for dates with a toolbox to do repairs at her house – right off of her soulmate list.

And I sure don’t blame her for marrying him.

Could I have one of those, please?!

In all seriousness, my cup is so empty. I cannot think beyond someone coming to take away my stress. 

Can I attract my guy with this frame of mind? Am I shooting too low?

A: Girl, you are cracking me up!

I love your humor and some lucky guy is going to have fun with you for the rest of his life

Are you shooting too low? Well, if you’re straight and a gay guy is appealing right now (which I totally get in a way), you’d be settling, right? Not really shooting too low, but this is not a fit. And yes, I know you were joking. Sorta

In short, you are in a needy place that’s not the best place to attract what you want

This is something we can fix, though! Here’s how I would coach someone like you:

1. Work on receiving – let’s work on not trying to do it all alone. Even right now, I guarantee you there is help beyond what you’ve been letting in. We must start filling up your cup so you don’t feel so stressed & needy

2. Start saying NO better and doing less. I’ll bet there are a lot of things you think that you should do that are optional. And often, I find stressed-out people are bad with boundaries. It’s hard to decline things people ask of you. If there was ever anyone who needs to do less and receive more, that is you

3. Have your child do more. He’s in 5th grade! Your boy is old enough to help out. I find that many parents these days think of themselves as “employees” of their child, and it produces spoiled children with bad attitudes

Tell him he’s a member of the household, must contribute and you need him. Think of a few things he can do weekly to pitch in and take some weight off of your shoulders. He’ll start feeling proud about it, and you will get a break, too

4. Go for the “pie in the sky” (it’s not really that). Let’s imagine you could have a STRAIGHT millionaire who’s good around the house or can simply hire a handyman. I don’t believe in settling, and everyone I’ve worked with who has found love did not settle

They got their dream person. And you can, too

I’m sending you SO much love for having it all, for replenishing yourself and finding that perfect partner who makes you feel cared for

You deserve that, and as you know, I have a soft spot for single moms