Do You Sabotage Yourself?! Step 1

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Q: Kathryn, hi there! The class you did on self-esteem really resonated with me

I often feel so unworthy of anything I want

I often sabotage myself by doing or saying the wrong thing

Or sometimes not doing something I know I should do

I cannot imagine anyone would be interested in me either

Or why anyone would want to hire or promote me

While I want to change, I just don't quite know how

And meanwhile, I'm in a lot of pain over it and tend toward depression

What can I do?

A: I'm so sorry you are going through this, bless your heart!

- And I want to remind you that you are precious, sacred and deserving of everything you want

Even when you don't know it yourself

- You didn't get this way on your way on your own

- Someone taught you that you were not much, but that doesn't make it true

So here's a good first step to quitting self-sabotaging behaviors

Step 1: eradicate ways you sabotage yourself

Often you don’t even know you shoot yourself in the foot. This step alone makes a marked difference in your life

HOMEWORK: make a list of ways you undermine yourself and also unkind thoughts you have about yourself. Once we pinpoint how you're self-sabotaging, it's easier to get detailed in changing those behaviors and the thoughts that lead to them

For example, I worked with one person to eradicate her negative self-talk

She would call herself “stupid” several times a day. 

Soon, she began dating not one but two attractive guys who would have intimidated her in the past

With another client, we pinpointed how he undermined himself with self-defeating behavior 

Examples: He would drag his feet about doing work assignments, scared he would do them badly. And he groveled with the gal he was dating rather than exuding the energy that of course, she would love him, because he is worthy

He didn’t even know he was doing this to himself!

As we got rid of this pattern, he was able to get a good promotion for the first time in his life and he sealed the deal with the woman he was dating. 

They're now married

In my next blog, I’ll continue with Step 2 to gaining the confidence you deserve

I bless you for walking in the knowledge of how valuable you are. That is a game-changer!