Love Repellent #1

Love repellent #1 is BIG - that's why we're starting with it

I'm teaching a Dating Mastermind right now, and my students talk a lot about being fearful of "risk." To them, risk means opening up, making a move toward someone

When people feel like opening up is RISKY, they shut down, often put on a mask and commit the very worse sin of all



THE LOVE REPELLENT

What is that fatal sin that will repel love?

It's being cold and not engaging

-This is something you may not even realize you do

-Research shows when you feel something is at stake, you can go into a fear state

-A fear state makes you shut down, get jittery and tongue-tied without even knowing it

- It's easy to come across as COLD when you are fearful

-This will make a possible love interest pull back

-Supermodels often naturally exude a sense of "don't touch me" to repel folks they don't want to meet

-It can become so kneejerk that the repel the ones they might like, without even knowing it



THE ANTIDOTE


So what can you do to ensure you're not falling into being cold & non-engaging?

(Research shows that most of us don't know we're even doing it -- though we have a vague sense of being "off-center")

Here is the antidote:
1. Work on learning to exude warmth

This takes practice and so it's something I work with people on before they connect with someone they find attractive

2. Talk to people like you would talk to your dog or a child that you love. Warmth is mainly expressed in your voice. Research finds that warmth in your voice is the greatest factor on how people judge you and if they open up to you or not

3. Warmth can also be expressed in what you say (something we'll talk about in the next email) and your body language

4. This bears out the research that shows most communication is non-verbal. We need to become more aware of this, and use it. I'm here to help with that!

5. This particular knowledge can help you in other perceived high-pressure situations like a job interview. If you use warmth, you're much more likely to be hired and will rule office politics, too


YOUR HOMEWORK

For the next 24 hours, make a conscious effort to be more warm in your interactions with others -- starting with your voice. Ask friends if you come across as warm or cold, and if they say "cold," this will be a critical step for you


Yes, it may feel like a risk, but it is far more risky to come across as cold


As you start seeing results, it will be much easier to keep this up and learn to use warmth to emotionally bond with whomever you want


Stay tuned for the Love Repellent #2, which I'll reveal in a subsequent blog♥