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Q: Hi Kathryn,

I have been reading your books for about a year and a half now.

I've attracted so many guys that were wrong for me. I keep chugging along trying to be positive but it's getting to the point that I'm tired and really feel like giving up.

I'm clear on who I am and what I want. Most of the guys that I'm attracted to online most of them don't seem to respond and the ones who do turn out to be flakes and disappear soon. They all look good on paper so I'm not sure what to make of this situation.

A few weeks ago I met this guy who came on very strong and then little by little I understood that he has nothing I'm looking for. He was literally broke, emotionally unstable and when I parted ways with him when I saw that he's a poor match he was verbally abusive. So I dived a serious bullet.

I mean I get that none of these guys are really the one.

I'm in a great place, where I feel like my life is stable, I have great friends, good job, financially stable, and I really love my life. So everything is going great and I can be okay without a partner but I so wish I had the right person; that soulmate connection.

I get so many emails etc from a lot of guys I have no interest in. I'm now even going out with them even if I don't feel an attraction just to make sure I'm not passing up on anything and been too shallow.

Do I just stop looking for the one and just try to make it work with one of these people?  I mean they are okay, but I just don't feel that spark or special connection?

How do I handle this situation?

Thanks

A: First off, sounds like you’re doing a good work, and on your way to love. You know what you want and you have a well-balanced life. Congratulations!

Secondly, my answer is NO!

No, you should not make it work with one of these people. At all!

Someone who is flaky and not showing up for you is not good enough for you.

And a relationship with someone who you’re not 100% sure is your soulmate can never last.

I know it can be tiring, but you have to carry on.

Your guy – who never feels even remotely like settling – is just around the corner.

So keep going!

1. It would be great to pick up the pace. Things tend to go slowly unless you try anything different, which I highly recommend doing. Sometimes books are not enough and it’s worth going a bit deeper into attracting.

2. This time of the year is an amazing time to sow the seeds for FAST change.

• Not only do you have more down time to work on some things,

• But there’s a magical window at the end of the year to really uplevel.

3. We get stuck by our setpoint. Your default seems to have been settling and also making this too hard when it really doesn’t have to be.

When we try to change that setpoint, all kinds of resistance comes up. Truly upleveling involves being willing to slog through the limits and blowing away that setpoint, leaving it far behind.

Last year one woman who started my 30 Day Soulmate Bootcamp at Halloween after 10 holidays alone (and feeling pretty down) met a man at a pre-Thanksgiving party. He shocked her by asking if she could come with him to Thanksgiving at a friend’s the very next day. They really hit it off. She shocked herself by saying “yes” she’d join him after her family’s celebration.

By Christmas, they were in a committed relationship and he whisked her off to a romantic Caribbean resort on December 26, 2015. All of those bad, lonely holidays during which she feared she would never find love evaporated with the enchanting romance that began to unfold. This year, they are already married and she will never spend another Christmas alone.

This student deliberately made a choice to try something different and I hope you will, too.

Things can happen very fast when you take steps to open to the right one and refuse to settle.

On that note, our Holiday Sale is coming up and that very program that worked for our customer  and so many other “holdouts” (those who are not finding love easily) – the 30 Day Soulmate Bootcamp -- will be on huge discount. So look for it, and you very well may be next!

Q: I have a friend who -- annoyingly -- always has a boyfriend. The minute one relationship ends, she finds another boyfriend right away. Why is it so easy for her and so hard for me? I haven’t even dated anyone in over a year. Why her and not me?!

A: Great question, and one I often get asked. Yes, your friend has something you don’t, but it’s not what you think. And just to reassure you, I often have folks in a similar position pass their friend by finding love and getting married while the friend is still going through boyfriend after boyfriend. It’s not a competition, but if it were, you don’t LOSE.

What your friend has that you don’t is the following:

a) A good template for having a boyfriend. She’s used to it, so it’s easier to manifest again. I’ll bet you have some areas in your life that are easy for you, too.

b) Faith that she gets love, that someone out there will be right for her and that she’s lovable.

If you lack the above, then it’s interfering with your ability to manifest love. But the good news is that there are ways to develop these things and manifest so easily you can’t believe it.

• A similar feeling of being left out can arise if you feel like someone else got chosen over you. If that happens, it's not rejection at all.

• Remember there's no rejection, only the wrong fit.

• Instead, it just means that the person who did not choose you is not your One.

• But if you can carry on, you'll find that one who can never see past you and is even hotter than the "one that got away."

• Every now & again, I get this weird phenomenon where someone gets a crush on the wrong person, who never is quite mutual in the feelings, and later goes on to meet another person who is almost an exact replica of their crush but usually even hotter and more right for them because it's their true soulmate.

• And of course in the latter case, the feelings are entirely mutual and the couple go on into a life together.

• I call this the Mistaken Identity Soulmate Situation - LOL!

I affirm that you are NEXT and don't have to wait any longer to be the one chosen and in a relationship even better than some of your serial monogamist friends because it lasts for a lifetime.