Q: I am having a complicated problem of too many unwanted men beating down my door (thanks to your work!) but the right one is sitting on the fence.

Kindly help me in turning the things around ;-)

Heartfelt gratitude, love and light.

A: Hey, congrats on gaining some momentum in your love life.

It’s a great sign that you’ve got guys buzzing around.

AND that you’ve met someone you really like.

Often, when we meet someone we are taken with, we sabotage ourselves:

• By being over anxious

• And shy

• Plus being intimidated

It kind of sucks because the one we want the most is the one we can have the most trouble with.

Luckily there’s a very easy solution that I’ve used to help my students gain the interest of the one they’re crushing on.

And it’s not even hard.

I talked about it a bit in the just-ended “Become Irresistible” class.

Step 2: do the right things

·  Set a course for love

·  Conform to it

·  Keep yourself steady – no drama

Sounds like you probably have some work to do here.

If you already have a connection -- some sort of bond -- we can work with that, but we have to do more.

• You need to take the connection you have and deepen the bond.

• We can’t have any drama, even your getting flustered by him. It can really get in the way.

• There’s an ABC approach I use that gives you the stages of taking that small connection and getting him to think of you, to wonder about you and want more & more.

• Before you know it, he’s the one now beating down your door, seeking to spend more time.

• And you never did anything to pursue him. Just fostered the connection already there.

That’s how I worked with the above client who suddenly got her crush to go ga-ga over her. She is having so much fun right now.

It’s a complete whirlwind!

If you grab one of the spots in upcoming “Create-a-Mate” Course, let’s work on this to make it happen.

One of the bonuses you get is the ABC Connecting course, and I can hold your hand through applying it for amazing results.

I’m blessing you! This is very easy to fix and it’s so much fun watching a romance blossom with the one you really want.

Q: I have recently been introduced to you and your work.  I have some questions around soulmates that I was hoping you could answer.

I am looking for love, and your book that I read really gave me hope and inspiration that my soulmate is actually out there looking for me as I am looking for him.

What I wonder is:

1)  Is there truly only ONE soulmate for each of us?

2)  Is this soulmate truly created for us, or do we create this idea of a soulmate?  Your book has me believe that there is one soulmate for us, but then I wonder what the point of dating is.  If my soulmate is looking for me, then maybe I should be doing more self-work instead of online dating.  Thoughts?

3)  This question is a bit more specific to me.  I was born to immigrant Greek parents and raised in very traditional Greek culture in Canada.  My parents would be extremely pleased and would prefer that I marry a man who is also Greek - same religion, same culture, same language.  If being Greek is one of my deal breakers, my pool of men decreases tremendously.  Yet I know also it would be much easier to meet and marry someone who is Greek for a lot of reasons.  Does this mean that my soul mate is likely Greek?  When I'm with a man, I'm always "what if'ing".  What if he was Greek, what if he made more money, what if he lived closer, what if he owned a boat?"  I don't know what to make of these "what if's"....is it me not ready for a commitment, or does it mean I haven't found the one?  Or maybe I don't know what my "one" looks like?  Should these be deal breakers?

Any insight you could share with me, I would be truly grateful and appreciative of.

A: I’m so happy you’re enjoying my work. And thanks for asking this question. It’s the most asked question I get in live workshops.

Here’s my answer

• Yes, I believe each person has someone they’re meant to be with. You can’t miss them and you will be drawn together.

A lid for every pot! (my Southern way of saying this).

• This has nothing to do with dating! So I’m glad you brought that up.

• I define dating as the process of getting to know one another, and you can’t skip it – even with your soulmate.

• Yes, the inner work is FIRST. If you line up, your soulmate will come to you without your having to do something that feels awkward. It’s more important than online dating by far. Online dating will be like spinning your wheels unless you’re lined up first and once you feel better on the inner, you don’t have to worry so much about the HOW that you’ll meet someone (you still have to date).

• Your being so drawn to someone Greek means your soulmate may have these characteristics. But I would say “this or something better,” knowing that if he’s not Greek, he will still fit in well with your life

• Quit doing that thing you’re doing on dates! To evaluate heavily and be judgy during the date takes away from being fully present and connected during a date, which is your only job. It’s almost impossible to really SEE someone when your mind is going in a million directions that are not very positive. You can evaluate later!

I hope this helps. As you do the inner work, your soulmate will come to you and it will click in perfectly with no more second guessing.

This has been true of everyone on our vast wall of weddings. Love always came in magically, and the inner work to line up was always the most important step.

I’m blessing you for the soulmate you so deserve. You’re getting there, and I appreciate the great questions!

Q: Kathryn, can you explain to me a little more about how the release process works?

I got a product of releases from you and am still getting used to what’s happening. First, as I let go of a situation, it got completely turned around. It’s at work, and I found myself with a raise and a better office even as I was letting go of the company out of frustration.

Then, I did a romantic release, and all of sudden, not one, but 3 guys I dated have popped back into my life. One I really have liked and I’m struggling with not getting reattached. I wouldn’t mind it working out with him.

What is going on?! And what do I do now? Should I let go of them all again especially the one, or see what could work out?

Please help!

A: I, too, have been astonished at the results we get with release.

Since my days of directing Crisis Support, I’ve seen how important letting go can be.

And refined the technique I’ve used to loosen attachment in those that hang on for dear life.

But we could not have predicted the magic that would ensue.

I theorize that it’s because letting go – as much as we can resist doing so – is an act of faith saying that we trust God to handle things for us.

It makes sense if you think about it. If clinginess or desperation are repellent. Then, the opposite would attract.

Release is unbelievably magnetic. This process is where we get the most emails with magical stories.

I’m so very happy it’s working out nicely for you.

Here’s what I suggest with the 3 newly appeared exes showing up for you-

• It’s fine to explore what is there with a detached point of view.

• I would hang on super loosely with each one.

• Particularly with the one who turns your head; see if things have changed, if some of the issues that made you break up in the first place are getting better.

• STAY RELEASED. I have a protocol I use called “partial release” that has worked to deliver countless people into engagement more quickly and has gotten many into the arms of someone they are interested in.

• Partial release means never getting clingy, focusing beyond the person at hand and not putting your eggs in one basket.

• The Partial Release Course I give to my private clients has singlehandedly helped them turn a corner into love beyond where they’d ever been.

So, try that and let’s see what happens. So far, so good! You’re doing excellent work.

On that note, our Ultimate Release Superkit is being discontinued this week. Right now, it’s on sale, so I would grab it!

The best news is that I’m throwing in the “Partial Release Protocol” as a bonus, which is normally not for sale and available only to my private clients.

I’m blessing you for doing such a great job in letting go. Keep it up, and you’ll have the love you want and much more

Q: Kathryn, Many thanks for your wonderful work and audio/ video newsletters as well as your sweet spirit. Let me cut to the chase with my question as I know you get many:

I have an idea of who I desire for a soul mate, but it occurred to me that God knows my needs and desires more than I ever will. To what degree do you suggest fine-tuning our request or 'order' (so to speak) for a specific mate? How detailed do we carve out our hopes/ dreams of The One vs. just letting God or the Universe choose or hand-craft this wonderful fit for us? More and more I am feeling resigned to the latter: Just asking God to create this perfect fit and bring us together, perhaps because I don't know all of the nuances of my needs anyway. :-) What are your thoughts on this balance?

Thanks!

A: That’s a really great question!

And you’re right, there’s a line there – a balance. Which is why some things might seem contradictory – the line is different for everyone.

• If you are being drawn to someone, there may be something there and it’s worth exploring.

• Learn to connect well and at the right level, and things will go better for you with those you desire. Until you can get up to speed with someone you find attractive, you may be blocking your love because your soulmate is the hottest person to you.

• We also have to look at your past. If you have a long history of choosing badly, then it’s best to leave it to God more and be open to something new.

• How to do that? Go ahead and hone your preferences. That’s essential in creating a template for your love.

• A ritual I suggest: write down what you want and then light a candle on it and declare “In God’s hands”.

• Stay open at the top. Say: “This or something better”

• Never ever worry about not having everything on your list. That’s very human level – where you think you have to get things just so or you’ll get the wrong thing. It’s fear-based and not necessary. The Universe will fill in for you.

A couple of years ago I worked with a client on this very issue.

She was casually dating this guy she really, really liked. But was unsure because she had always been drawn to the unavailable.

We decided to take the above approach.

She dated the hot guy but kept things open and dated others.

Meanwhile, we worked on feeling up to speed with the hot one – like she was just as much of a catch.

She found herself putting less pressure on that one relationship with a take it or leave it attitude.

It did work out with him and they are now married. She still pinches herself that it worked out.

This client helped things along by letting go a bit and feeling more worthy of someone that attractive to her.

And it worked out perfectly for her, at long last.

I’m blessing you for divine guidance. Remember that being drawn to someone and God’s will are not always mutually exclusive.