Q: Kathryn, Many thanks for your wonderful work and audio/ video newsletters as well as your sweet spirit. Let me cut to the chase with my question as I know you get many:

I have an idea of who I desire for a soul mate, but it occurred to me that God knows my needs and desires more than I ever will. To what degree do you suggest fine-tuning our request or 'order' (so to speak) for a specific mate? How detailed do we carve out our hopes/ dreams of The One vs. just letting God or the Universe choose or hand-craft this wonderful fit for us? More and more I am feeling resigned to the latter: Just asking God to create this perfect fit and bring us together, perhaps because I don't know all of the nuances of my needs anyway. :-) What are your thoughts on this balance?


A: That’s a really great question!

And you’re right, there’s a line there – a balance. Which is why some things might seem contradictory – the line is different for everyone.

 If you are being drawn to someone, there may be something there and it’s worth exploring.

 Learn to connect well and at the right level, and things will go better for you with those you desire. Until you can get up to speed with someone you find attractive, you may be blocking your love because your soulmate is the hottest person to you.

 We also have to look at your past. If you have a long history of choosing badly, then it’s best to leave it to God more and be open to something new.

 How to do that? Go ahead and hone your preferences. That’s essential in creating a template for your love.

 A ritual I suggest: write down what you want and then light a candle on it and declare “In God’s hands”.

 Stay open at the top. Say: “This or something better”

 Never ever worry about not having everything on your list. That’s very human level – where you think you have to get things just so or you’ll get the wrong thing. It’s fear-based and not necessary. The Universe will fill in for you.

A couple of years ago I worked with a client on this very issue.

She was casually dating this guy she really, really liked. But was unsure because she had always been drawn to the unavailable.

We decided to take the above approach.

She dated the hot guy but kept things open and dated others.

Meanwhile, we worked on feeling up to speed with the hot one – like she was just as much of a catch.

She found herself putting less pressure on that one relationship with a take it or leave it attitude.

It did work out with him and they are now married. She still pinches herself that it worked out.

This client helped things along by letting go a bit and feeling more worthy of someone that attractive to her.

And it worked out perfectly for her, at long last.

I’m blessing you for divine guidance. Remember that being drawn to someone and God’s will are not always mutually exclusive.