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Q: Kathryn, I have never had a good relationship
When I look back, I'm appalled at what I used to put up with

Having done some of your work, I've realized how little I settled for

Clearly, I was 3rd string with the last guy, who came and went pretty freely until I finally got a clue and ended it
He was so flaky with me 

And before that, my boyfriend of three years was emotionally abusive.

Kathryn, how can I break this pattern once and for all? I'm scared to date for fear I'll end up with another painful situation.

A: I'm proud of you for the realizations you have had

It will be so much easier for you to lose your patterns now that you've seen them and are setting higher standards for yourself 

Awareness is the first step to healing 

For a longstanding pattern, deeper work can be necessary

We need to do an interrupt in the status quo -- in your thinking, in your emotional patterns, in your standards and even boundaries -- to ensure you are creating something different in your love life

As you change things, you go into a powerful attractant mode for your soulmate

There are several ways to do this:

1. Do a release any time you feel yourself being drawn toward old attractions that have disrespected you or put you on their backburner. Or if you're getting red flags with someone you're connecting with

2. Replace the patterns you're releasing with something new -- even just the thought of a more mutual relationship full of respect and caring

3. Get some further help. Sometimes we have SUCH a blind spot that only a coach or counselor can help us beyond a stubborn relationship pattern

 I bless you for getting what you need into the healthy, full-on love that awaits you with your soulmate