is my love life affecting my career?

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Q: Kathryn, I have a pretty good job but don’t do that well at it. I do feel underpaid

And the fact that I don’t have love really distracts me. Instead of concentrating on work, I find myself emotionally caretaking just to calm down, looking online for guys and being unfocused

Are these two related? Is there something that keeps me from really achieving at work AND not having love?

I’m just wondering because it seems like I never get what I want. And I can get pretty down about it

A: Yes! Job and love can for sure be related, and I’m sorry you’re getting down

We can fix this

I remember a time when I had nothing – neither love nor money nor a good job

And it seems like they all got better at the same time.
 
As a late bloomer, I found Jon, my husband when I was 41. Then, I got pregnant and signed a book deal on the same day. And ended up taking a 10 month old on 25 city book tour with me!

It was a crazy, busy wonderful time in which it felt like every single thing I wanted happened at once

So here’s what I suggest:

1) Let’s find hope again instead of getting depressed knowing that a couple of changes can make it all happen at once

2) One red flag you mentioned was that you feel underpaid

That’s a sign of an issue we need to address. The root cause is probably the same reason that love also is not coming

3) Chin up, though, because at least you do have a job, and as you find love, you will be in such a good mood that work can go better than ever

I worked with one woman, Sue, who was in a similar position as you. She had a job in which she felt she was a doormat and was so lonely that she had little energy to put into making things better at work

She was pretty paralyzed and after our intake, we had to make a core change on an issue that was negatively affecting every area of her life

As we tackled this issue, everything changed for her pretty quickly

The upshot is the best relationship of her life. She is now married to a wonderfully charming man, and they are ecstatic together

And happily, she quit her job in which she had felt so undervalued and disrespected. She got a higher-paying part-time job and has spent the rest of her time traveling and adventuring with her love, who is quite successful

Sue has never looked back!

Much love & support – chin up, you have every hope for what you want: ALL of it