Q: Hey Kathryn! I love your work and it helped me meet a guy several years ago who landed on my lap and we started what I thought was a healthy relationship. Problem is it is a bit of a crazy love. We have broken up often but just can't seem to quit each other. To be honest, it is not that fun anymore, but the thought of parting ways for good just breaks my heart.

We are definitely in a rut, which is why I enjoyed the Rut Class so much. Do you think that getting out of my rut in this case means we have to break up? Because I am scared that is the answer, but sure don't want to face it. Is there any hope to work it out? Part of my problem is that he will not go forward with me as much as I want. I do want marriage and a family. And I have wasted years of my life on him at this point. Is leaving him the only answer?! I need your advice on this.

A: I am glad you heard the Get Out of Your Rut Class and that it has inspired you to try & figure this out. I'd hate you to spend another few years in limbo with your guy because it is definitely not a sign of healthy relationships.

Having said that, we don't know the answer yet, but it is entirely possible that you can make this a healthy relationship, get it out of the rut and finally move forward into what you want with this man.
There is a technique I use to kick start something that is stalled. And it has been very effective in bringing relationships to soulmate level, where everything changes and it goes where you want it to go. The technique involves getting out of any bad pattern the relationship has fallen into and also bringing it up to soulmate level; healthy relationship.

Even if your boyfriend doesn't know what you're doing, it only takes one person to up-level the relationship and make it dynamic again. Set a secret intention that you will make it better and then watch your energy, trying your best to stay in a good, centered, and hopeful place even as things come up.

It really does help to have someone walk this journey with you to get what you want and achieve a healthy relationship. While my private coaching practice is full, you can still get into the Upgrade Course now, where I will serve as your coach. As part of the course, you will learn how to make it a healthy relationship and also take it to soulmate level (there's a whole module on that), and we will have the luxury of a month to work on this. You will definitely see movement in the process, start enjoying yourself again.

It's our best chance of working it out with him. I bless you for getting the exact love you want. I'm sending you my love and support for that.