Q: Dear Kathryn,
I recently wrote you a really long... question. Here is my shortened version. [note: thanks for that]

You say not to get too attached to one person as that is one of the biggest blocks.

You also say to keep hope and excitement and fun and lightness about new love...

What do I do when the reason I have hope and excitement IS BECAUSE of this one person who I have a lot of trouble releasing? Although I have released him many times, he keeps in my heart and still... keeps me excited for love.

How does the dream of him keep me alive?

And what do I do when now, after 2+ years of dreaming of him, now there is someone who actually IS interested in me... and I feel like I'd be cheating on the first guy?

If I continue to pursue the new guy...

How can I explore the new guy while having this dent in my heart for the first guy?!

It feels like I am being unfaithful to him even though we connected so beautifully over 2 years ago and ever since have had only some private message Facebook communication mostly started by me and other than that, only actually seeing him a couple times very briefly?

How do I go forward with these conflicting feelings?

I feel my heart is breaking by letting go of the first guy but the new guy is wonderful and gives me so much attention and love... but with him it feels more innocent.

The first guy felt like nothing in this world, there was pure magic there and it all felt very real and grounded too.

Why do I hold out for the guy who isn't giving anything to me?

Thank you, Kathryn!!!! You have been helping me beyond words! My life has completely shifted by listening to all your recordings. Eternal thanks!!!

I love you and appreciate you more than words!!!!!!

A: Thanks for writing!

I've got a few points to help you with this situation. And I'm really sorry you've suffered for it

 DO NOT ever feel guilty or like you're betraying someone you're not committed to. It is a waste of time and super misplaced sense of unfairness.

 I hate to say this but often, when we get stuck on unavailable folks, it's a great way to keep US unavailable. I would look at that.

 Try to give the new guy a chance. He is showing up for you, and that's way more attractive than someone who is not.

 I would not do most of the heavy lifting in relationship ever again -- like being the one to initiate most of the contact. We want to make sure it's requited love. Besides, there's a SO much more effective way to attract someone and have them coming to you.

I do hope you'll tune into my free class next week "Become Irresistible".

You'll learn how to magnetize anyone you want -- including the one who has not been showing up -- to have love drop in your lap rather than have to force something into happening.

I'm sending you love & support -- so happy my work has been helping you :)